Finding the real Tony Stark

Chapter 29

A/N I got a lot of these from my good friend and she knows who she is. Most of these aren't mine just what I found on tumblr, Pinterest, other stories etc

*after a break*

"To make it simple here are some
Incorrect avengers/ little snippets."

*tony and Rhodey before Tony and Nat are dating*

Rhodey: Just tell her you are beautiful.

Tony: that's a great idea!

*later*

Tony to Nat: I'm beautiful.

Half the room face palmed

Pepper: do you want to tell me how you guys crashed the car?

Nat: well, we were driving and there was a deer in the middle of the road. Tony clearly hadn't seen it so I shouted "Tony, deer!"

Pepper:...
Tony:...

Nat: would you like to tell pepper what your response was?

Tony: yeah babe?

"I mean it's an honest mistake!"
"When have I ever used 'deer/dear' as a pet name?"
"Uhhh.... Spur of the moment I guess? It's a normal thing to say," Tony replied sheepishly.

"Sure thing котенок,"

Natasha: truth or dare?

Tony: truth

Natasha: how many hours have you slept this week?

Tony: dare

Nat: I dare you to go to bed

Tony: ... I don't like this game

"Smart!"
"Not fun..."

Tony: *calls*

Natasha: this better be important I'm on a mission stake out.

Tony: Peter just told me bees don't have lungs!

Nat: ... tell me everything

"WHAT!?"
"Bees don't have lungs!?"
"Whadyoumean!?"
"Peter can you please explain!?"
"How do you know...?"

Peter to ned, while laying face down on his bed, regretting everything: And then I called him dad! *sobs*

Tony, to Rhodey while trying not to get emotional: aNd THEN HE CALLED ME DAD!

"Ah father figure rolls,"
"It's like his first words all over again..."

Nat: where's tony?

Rhodey: Don't worry I'll find him, ahem...

Rhodey, shouting: PETER PARKER SUCKS!

Tony in the distance: PETER IS THE BEST PERSON EVER! FUCK YOU!

Rhodey to Nat: found him.

"Awww mr Stark that means a lot."
"What about me?" Nat asks with a fake pout.

"You're also the best."

Tony: I have had one hour of sleep. One cheeseburger. Sixteen shots of espresso. And now I'm ready to fight God or die trying!

Odin: I accept your challenge mortal!
Tony: oh dang...
Thor: this will be amusing
Loki and Thor snicker knowing that Tony will win.

Suddenly a door which has a big sign: arena, on it appears. They walk in to find a big arena just as the sign said.

Everyone takes a seat and cheers on while Tony nervously sweats.

Odin smirks in the corner, he's decided to go easy on the mortal but not to easy, this so called mortal could wield mijonlir and was extremely powerful.

A bell rings and they both run at each other, odin faster than Tony as he was too nervous. "AHAKALALHAGAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHALALALAAGGAGAHAHHAHAHRRGGHHHHHH!" Odin screamed a battle cry and jumped into the air to punch Tony in the face but Tony dogged and grabbed his arm before throwing Odin over his shoulder. Now he had A FUCKING GOD- THE KING OF ASGUARD pinned under him he had no idea what to do. Odin caught him off guard and flipped their positions.

Tony grunted then slid through Odin's legs and kicked his back so Odin fell to the floor and his foot was on top of him in victory.

Thor and Loki were cheering on and many asguardians traded money for the bets they made while laughing or being completely dumbstruck.

Tony laughed nervously and got off as fast as he could while offering a hand to Odin.
"Heh heh I'm sorry?" He said sheepishly while rubbing the back of his neck.

Odin smiled widely at him.
"I knew you were worthy of Mijonlir and I made the right choice!" Odin boomed and everyone cheered while going back to their seats.

Natasha: the best way to get to a mans heart is with a knife, you just have to stab it but if you want the actual heart it's a bit harder to pull out but it's possible.

Rhodey: you sure you want that one?...

Tony *gushing excitedly like a fanboy*: yes!

"I never fanboyed like that..." Tony said while blushing a bright, beet red.

"Sure you didn't котик," Natasha joked and ruffled his hair.

Natasha: whenever I'm away there isn't anyone to feed Tony or remind him to eat so I asked Peter to do it while I was away for a mission and here's the footage J.A.R.V.I.S sent me.

*Peter with a spoon of food wiggling it around Tony's face with a big smile."

Peter: open wide for the aeroplane! Neeoww

Tony: *looks purely horrified and tries to escape*

A/N: I want to do more but I've completely forgotten the ideas and cba to scroll through my whole camera roll to find the ones I saved so so sorry I haven't posted in forever but the next chapters r already half written so they shouldn't take as long to post.