Evenlyn's Story: The Cullen Years (Watty '11 3rd place)

Chapter 8,Past

Chapter 8,past

I could see a bright light far away, but getting closer, the blackness was frightening. I couldn't see anything. I reached towards it, desperately to see something. For anything to happen. The light got closer and closer but suddenly it went away and I was plunged back into the darkness. I searched for the light frantically, but coming up empty. Where was it? What’s happening? Is this heaven? Or is it hell? Maybe I was already dead. Was I in heaven? I didn't think I would end up here. I deserved hell. I didn't protect her when she needed me most. When I had to step up. But I wouldn't contest their decision. I would take heaven gladly. But if this was hell, would I see Meadow? Would I get to see her face? I would die happily and live in hell gladly if that meant seeing her. As the unbearable pain was going through my body, I heard voices. close by. What was going on? I listened harder, starting to get nervous. I couldn't make out what they were saying. I tried to listen in. Their voices were muffled as in a phone. I still couldn't see anything. I prayed that the voices would continue, that I wouldn't be alone in the frightening darkness. The dark was heavy as I was trying to breathe. I struggled, my heart skipped a beat. I felt as leaving my body. Something was moving underneath me. Was I dead? In that case I didn't care, it wouldn't take long until I would see Meadow and my mom. I tried to open my eyes to see them. I could feel how close I was. I wanted to stretch out my hand and greet them but I couldn't move. I was shaking back and forth and it was starting to annoy me. I heard soft breathing. Breathing? Was somebody waiting for me? An angel? I couldn't be alive. Could I? I got crushed by a van, I couldn't possibly be alive. Was this heaven? Hell? I wanted to see her, my little Meadow. I had missed her familiar kicks inside of me. Suddenly I dropped back into the black hole and couldn't see a thing! Where was I? Alive? It was annoying me that I didn't know. I wanted to understand what was happening! I felt more movement as if someone was walking up stairs. I hesitated. What if I actually was alive? How could I deal with the unbearable pain of my loss? Then I heard them. The voices.

"Oh my!" said a melodious female voice. That was it. I had finally gone nuts. My imagination was playing tricks on me.

"What did you dó?!?" a lighter female voice said. More voices?

"I couldn't leave her there! What would you have done then?" a male voice asked.

"I would just let her die, you are putting all of us in danger, Edward!" the second voice said with a little hint of anger in her voice. Oh great. More people who were angry with me. And that rang a bell. I wasn't dead. The voices were too clear to be inside my head. The movement. Someone was carrying me. I screamed. They would hurt me! Painful memories took over my thoughts. My dad. Meadow. Brynn. Carlisle. Esme. I knew that voice. Esme. Oh god, serious trouble. I couldn't recognize more voice ,my head hurt too much to think clearly. Meadow. Meadow. Meadow. Her name kept dancing through my mind, confronting me with those painful memories. I was going to kill myself after this. I am only fourteen, I'm not capable of all this pain that haunts me every day of my existence. No. I actually wanted to die. To die and rest forever. Be with Meadow. Fly away on a cloud and never come back. Peacefully. But the voices interrupted my suicidal plans.

"I'll bring her up to Carlisle, we'll see what we'll do later on. I want to take care of her first. Esme, would you call the rest, please? But let Jasper stay out of here. Oh, and Nessie too. She doesn't have to see this" the voice asked. Oh. My. God. The only sentence I caught was 'I want to take care of her.'. Would he rape me? Hurt me? Cut me, like my dad did? Or would he kill me? I would beg him to kill me! Everything to leave and release myself from the strained pain and the haunting memories. I recognized something in what the boy said. Carlisle. Where did I hear that name before? It reminded me of something but as before, my head hurt too much to think about it longer. I went up some stairs. My body felt lifeless. Finally I regained some control. The clouds in my head were clearing up and I got stronger. A soft knock.