✧𝔻𝔼𝕍𝕆𝕋𝕀𝕆ℕ~ 𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓉 𝒸𝑜𝓁𝓁𝑒𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃~✧

✧Wei Ying- You are Loved✧

A/N- Mentions of suicide/gore, and suicidal thoughts in this chapter. I'll add warnings when it happens so you can skip it if you're easily triggered by those types of things.

Also, on a lighter note, Xiao Zhan is so handsome with long hair like... man please explain how you are so handsome, it's just not possible for a man to look THIS good.

WEI YING HAD promised his loyal and loving husband Lan Zhan that he wouldn't hurt or kill himself, that he would take time for himself and recover so that he would no longer have suicidal thoughts or anxiety, but he soon realized that he couldn't keep that promise. Every day, he went through more pain. Every day he lived was another day he hated.

And that was how he found himself standing on the top of one of the many waterfalls in Cloud Recesses, preparing to jump off and end his life.

A/N- Mentions of blood/dark thoughts start here. They're not that serious yet though.

He'd made the decision of this spot for many reasons- one; it was beautiful, and he wanted the last thing he saw to be beautiful, two; killing himself with Suibian or any other weapon or drug would be painful and more time-consuming, and three; if people found his body lying at the bottom of a waterfall with his neck broken, they wouldn't react as strongly to it, if they saw him with his throat slit open and his sword in his hand, they would panic and have a strong reaction. He didn't want people to panic or cry when they saw his dead body. Then again, why would they? He was the disappointment of Yunmeng, the greatest fool in the Jiang clan that he had been adopted into. No one cared if he lived or died.

A/N- Mentions of blood and dark thoughts end here.

He moved his feet forward one by one, until they were both hanging over the edge. The water roared beneath him, and he began to feel uncomfortable. Maybe he should just go back and slit his throat with Suibian...

No, he wouldn't do that. That would draw too much attention, and it would be painful and not attractive. It had to be attractive...

A/N- Suicidal thoughts start here.

Just do it, just jump off already.

You don't have the confidence, do you?

You're just a coward. A disappointment to your clan and to the entire world.

Nobody will accept you, nobody will love you.

Nobody but death...

A/N- Suicidal thoughts end here.

Tortured by his thoughts, Wei Ying burst into sobs. He had had enough of this foolish life.

"I know that heaven won't take me," he sobbed, "so I pray that hell won't be too harsh. And I also pray that everyone I've wronged in life- Shije, Jiang Cheng, Hanguang-Jun... will forgive me."

With that, he jumped off.

The fall was fast, and painless. He didn't focus on anything, just the sound of the wind in his ears. When he hit the water, pain vibrated up his entire body, and he swallowed a mouthful of the cold liquid. He sunk and rose, over and over again, not fighting it.

Please... just give up already, body... he begged.

"Wei Ying!"

A man's voice screamed his name over the loud noise of the crashing water. He tried to look up, but his body was finally giving out. He sunk under the water for the last time, and closed his eyes.

Hello, death. I welcome you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------