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Pagtingin - Ben&Ben
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She still has my hand intertwined with hers.
Great. Now I don't know how to calm my nerves. Idagdag mo pa ang ipinupukol na tingin ni Rans. Rans with her hawk eyes and teasing grin. Lahat nalang talaga napapansin niya.
I'm starting to regret my life decisions, all of them includes Rans. Like the stories that I've read, or the movies that I've watched, hindi nalang sana si Rans ang pinagsabihan ko ng mga sikreto ko, my deepest secrets.
And now she's tormenting me with her teasing look. I gave her the best glare I could ever muster, because I just want to, and I want her to stop with that look or someone from our group might notice.
I'm not ready for that.
Mind you, hindi lang pala si Rans ang nakapansin sa holding hands namin ni Sela-- which is just common for two friends, right?
Right. it's just her hand clasping mine tightly and don't forget, intertwined. Sorry, I'm being redundant. I know. How can't I? My mind's in a frenzy. For some reason, it can't function properly as of this moment, says my heart that's been very busy controlling itself.
It's even demanding to burst out from my chest because of how loud it is. Like it has finally found its real owner, who's actually standing beside me while tightly holding my hand.
I'm even blabbering with myself. Okay, sorry. Stop now, Abby.
But before I lose my own track, I also took notice of Brei eyeing our clasped hands with her mouth in perfect 'O'-shaped. She too, looked amused.
Why are they reacting like that? Ngayon lang ba sila nakakita ng magkaibigang magkahawak ang kamay? I pulled a face at the both of them na ikinangisi lang nila.
Hindi ko nalang sila pinansin at ibinaling ang atensyon dito sa katabi ko. She can't even look at me. She's biting her lower lip while scratching her eyebrow with her free hand.
"Akala ko ba hindi ka 'yung touchy type, mars?" I smirked at her, masking my own nervousness of course.
"Shut up, Abby." She mumbled and glared at me. Sumilay na rin ang maliit na ngiti sa kanyang labi. It made me smile, too.
"Ginagalingan mo masyado, panigurado mafa-fall rin talaga siya sayo. Kahit wala ka namang gawin, eh. Marami pa ring magkakagusto sayo."
"Eh, siya lang naman ang gusto ko na magkagusto sa'kin." Tumingin siya sa akin matapos niyang sabihin iyon. I can see the determination in her eyes.
I smiled genuinely at her. "By your efforts to really make a move on her, for sure magkakagusto rin siya sayo. Baka nga gusto ka na rin niya."
"T-talaga?" Her eyes became hopeful.
"Of course. Obvious naman, eh. Sainyong dalawa."
Napalitan ng pagtataka ang mukha niya. She quickly furrowed her eyebrows at me. "Sa aming dalawa?"
"Oo, si Gia. Siya ang gusto mo diba?" Alanganin akong ngumiti sa kanya. But I tried my best for her not to notice that I'm forcing a smile.
Good thing she haven't noticed it. "Bakit mo naisip na si Gia ang gusto ko?"
"Crush mo siya, diba? 'matic na 'yon, syempre."
She chuckled humorlessly, as if offended by my conclusion and eyed me seriously, looking disappointed.
"Speaking of, bakit hindi nalang siya ang tanungin mo? Para mas madali." I suggested, ignoring her disappointed look at me.
She just sighed. After a few seconds of her not answering my question, I reluctantly removed my hand from her clasp. She's looking at it while I'm gently removing her hand from mine.
"Mukhang tapos na sila, mars. Puntahan ko lang si Rans." I smiled at her which she didn't return. She's just looking at me intently. "Goodluck kay Gia."
I forced myself from thinking that it's not bothering me. Lumayo na ako sa kanya at lumapit kay Rans na ngayon ay malawak nang nakangiti habang papalapit rin sa'kin.
"Tigil tigilan mo 'ko sa ganyang mga tingin mo, Rans. Tusukin ko 'yang mata mo, eh." Agad kong angil nang makalapit na ako sa kanya.
"Oh, kalmahan mo lang mars." Tinawanan niya muna ako bago magseryoso ang mukha niya habang nakatingin sa akin.
She patted my shoulder several times, comforting me. I gave her a look that only she can understand. After she took noticed of it, she hugged me gently and I just molded myself from her body, sighing comfortably.
She knows me too well, to the point that it scares me. But I'm happy, she's here. Always here.
She really is indeed, my bestfriend.
"Hoy! Ano na naman 'yan!? Niloloko mo na ba ako, Ransoy?"
Rans giggled while hugging me. Umalis na ako sa pagkakayakap niya. I realized it's too cringey for me. Ngumiwi ako sa kanya na parang nandidiri kaya kinurot niya ako sa tagiliran.
"Aray! Sadista ka talaga." Inalis ko ang kamay niya sa tagiliran ko at tsaka binalingan si Gabb. "Selosa mo naman, Gabb."
"Pero ang landi niyo, ha. May payakap pa, akala mo ang tagal na 'di nagkita." Turan na rin ni Ecka na may nakakalokong tingin.
"Mommy Rans! Sabihin mo lang kung binibingwit ka 'nyan ni ate Abby." Natatawang saad ni Coleen kay Rans. Pinagkakaisahan na naman nila ako.
"Pasimpleng chansing rin 'to si Abby, eh." Dagdag pa ni Belle sabay tapik sa likod ko.
I groaned when they all just laughed at me. "Bahala nga kayo d--"
"Ano!? Dito nalang tayo!?" Naputol ang sasabihin ko nang medyo sumigaw si Sela.
Napatingin kami sa kanya dahil sa gulat. Anong nangyari? She's pursing her lips and creasing her forehead, parang nagpipigil lang.
What's with the sudden outburst? "Marsela." Tawag ko sa kanya.
Hindi man lang siya tumingin sa akin. Nagtaka na ako sa kinikilos niya kaya lumapit ako sa kanya. "Marsela." Seryoso ko nang turan sa kanya.
"Woah, someone play High Tension by MNL48." Hirit ni Brei sa biglaang awkward atmosphere.
"Brei, not now." Mabilis kong binalingan si Brei at tumingin ulit kay Sela, na ngayon ay nasa harapan ko na. "Marsela." I called with a hint of impatience. Nakaiwas lang ang tingin niya sa'kin.
"Uy, Sela. Tawag ka ni Abby." Tawag na rin ni Gia kay Sela. Katabi niya ito na parang natatakot na sa ipinupukol kong tingin dito sa kaharap ko.
"Hindi ako nakikipag-usap sa manhid." Tinalikuran niya na ako at nag-umpisa nang maglakad paalis.
