Save my heart (Sunstreaker)

* Chapter 5. Disapointment *

My walked into my room. "Honey, are you getting up?" she asked. I glanced at her, "Do you think Lennox will recruit me?" I asked. She smiled, "why wouldn't he?" she asked, leaning against the doorway. "He said he would think about it... Ironhide said I would be the youngest plus, I am not experienced," I said. "Bullshit, don't worry, I am sure he will consider you," she said and turned. "Are you coming?" she asked. I nodded and slid out of bed, dressing up before joining my parents for breakfast. "Morning," I flashed my dad a smile but he didn't return. My father is hard to impress, just like Sunstreaker. "You're going to the base again?" he asked. I nodded, "I might get recruited for their rookie program," I said. "That would be great, all you do is clean up their mess," he scowled. I looked down at my plate, "Alex," my mom shot him a glare. "Just telling facts. She's a cleaner for them... she can do better. Why are you wasting your time? Why did you refuse going to Harvard? So many people want to go to Harvard and you are a cleaner at a stupid military base," he snapped.

"Because it's my dream to be a soldier. Like you once was... like Sunstreaker," I said. "Oh come on! That stupid alien is nothing more than a robot. Dreaming will not bring you anywhere," he snapped. "Lennox will recruit me," I said. "Why hasn't he recruited you already then?" he snapped. "I needed a medical exam... Ratchet filled in the form and now it's settled," I said. "So, you don't have to clean anymore?" Dad snapped. "No-- I mean, Lennox still has to approve first of course," I said. My dad shook his head. "You're a shame for our family, to me and to your mother..." I looked at my mother. "I rather saw you going to Harvard and leaving it all behind here," dad snapped. I sucked in a breath. My mother sighed, "You know, it's not too late to reconsider your options," mom said. I gave a small nod, "I want to wait for Lennox's reply," I mumbled.

My dad was disappointed and that hurt. I always hate it when people are disappointed in me. My mom is more supportive than my dad. I never can pull a smile on his face, he always has criticism. He has been so furious when I told him I'd rather be a soldier than study at Harvard. It made me doubt my decision. If Lennox doesn't recruit me for his training program, I probably have to do something I don't like the. I have to stop working at N.E.S.T and don't see Sunny anymore. I made the fool out of myself so many times and I am socially awkward, why would Lennox recruit me? Ben was right, if Lennox wanted me, he would have asked me already.

I went to work after a big hug of my mother. At work, while I was cleaning the hanger, Lennox walked up to me. "Paige." I turned. "I have looked through your medical exam, it looks good..." he trailed off. I smiled. "I just don't think it's a good idea. You have no experiences, you would be the youngest... maybe a couple of years later," He said. "Sir, please, give me a change. I won't disappoint you. Ratchet says I am healthy—" he cut me off. "It's not just about your health. What we do err asks experience, skill and you clearly don't have them," he stated. "I am sorry, maybe in about five years," he said and walked off. My dream just fell apart. I took a deep breath and wiped a lost tear off my cheek. I don't want the soldiers to catch me crying. I blinked the tears from my eyes and walked away with my bucket.

((Sunstreaker's P.O.V))
Paige walked off. Obviously upset about the news. I didn't understand why she would be so sad about it. She doesn't have to fight but she wants too. Why? Why can't she just do something less dangerous. There are enough jobs she can do. I walked over to the meeting and joined quietly. My thoughts were still with the human female. I don't really get it. It kept bothering me the entire hour.

Lennox dismissed us when he finished. "That girl, Paige?" I asked. They glanced at me. "Why did you reject her?" I asked. "Because she's too young and inexperienced, why?" Lennox asked. "She shouldn't matter and... why don't you give her change?" I asked. "Since when do you care?" Epps mocked. "I don't. She just reminds me a little bit of myself, that's all," I sulked while playing with a pen on the table. "She can't keep up with the other soldiers," Ironhide said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Well, you were the one to sent her to Ratchet for a medical exam. Why would you give her false hope then?" I argued. "I didn't want to be the one to break her spark," Ironhide replied.

"Look, she's clumsy, socially awkward, shy but... she's smart. She's too good to be a cleaner. I mean come on, she was accepted for Harvard but refused because she wants to be a soldier. How many people are able to join Harvard?" I scoffed. "How do you know?" Prowl asked. "She talks to herself, I stalked for a bit. I see potential in her. If she sucks and can't fit in, the blame is all me. Fine, if the lack of experience bothers you all, I am willing to teach her the basics."

There fell a silence. All shocked by my words. I don't teach humans how to fight or interact with them in general. "You don't teach humans," Optimus pointed out. "Then don't make me reconsider it. If she sucks, kick her off the team. She's too good to be a cleaner," I said. "Alright, you convinced me but it's your fault if she gets herself into trouble," Lennox warned. I got up, "oh she will get herself in trouble because it's Paige. She's a trouble maker but she learns from her mistakes. She wants this for some reason and she's been cleaning this base for months. No one ever acknowledged her. She wants to be seen. You have no idea how often people make fun of her. I don't like bullies," I sulked. "You are a bully," Lennox mocked. "I am not a bully. If I would, you would be my permanent victim. No, I just deeply hate humans and make sure they know. I am a psychopath, a serial killer but not a bully. If people leave me alone, I will leave them alone. Oh and just you know... it wasn't really a question, if you'd like to live, you'll give her a change," I snarled before walking off.