Save my heart (Sunstreaker)

* Chapter 13. Beaches *

Paige got her spirit back during dinner. I just wanted to know why she's so insecure and anxious about herself and how other people see her. Apparently, something has happened for her to feel like that. I sat back and waited for her to be done. In an hour, she was talking. I am not much of a talker so I didn't mind having her talking so much. She stopped talking and glanced at me. "Am I talking the ears off your head?" she asked. I nodded, "yup." She looked at her plate and bit her lip. Not even two seconds later she spoke up again. "Sorry..." I groaned and threw my head back. "I am going to forbid you to say the word 'sorry', Chatty," I sighed, looking back at her. She took a bite of her bread.

"Why are you the way you are?" I asked. "The way I am?" she repeated. I nodded, "I– you mean the talking part or...?" she asked. "Everything, the shyness, the talking, your insecurity." She shrugged, "It's annoying?" she asked. "The talking, sometimes, yes but I am mostly talking about... you want to please everyone in this world but you can't," I said. "I just feel like I have to try because no one cares about the things I do. Not my dad, not Lennox, not Optimus, even my mother doubts me sometimes... You know I– A few years back, I made a painting and spent more than a year on it. When I finally finished, I showed my parents and my dad... he just started yelling at me how ugly the painting was and how disappointed he was in me... the next week, I asked him where the painting was and it turned out he had sold it for quite some money but told me he threw it away. Just these small things frustrate me. People tell me I am not good enough, I am never able to please anyone."

I slowly started to get a picture of why she wanted this so badly. "You are good enough, Paige." She smiled at me. "Your opinion matters to me." I grasped her hand. "You're doing great but you need to relax a little bit because... you are asking too much of yourself and I don't want you to end up with a burn out," I said. She gave a small nod, "promise me you'll take good care of yourself." She nodded, "of course... I promise," she mumbled. I pressed a kiss on the back of her hand, making her blush even more. We got up and headed towards our room, she seemed really tired and although she didn't say it out loud, she was. I could see it in her eyes and movements. "Go change," I said. She nodded and disappeared only to return 10 minutes later in her pj shorts and T-shirt. "So..." she trailed off. I glanced at him, "you'd like to sleep on the bed or..." she trailed off. "You want me to sleep on the ground?" I asked. "What?! N-no I mean like... do you want to share a bed with me. I am human, remember?" she asked.

"I remember clearly you're a fleshie, chatty. Just pick a side," I muttered. She looked at the bed before she walked over to the left side. I changed as well in pj pants and a matching shirt. I laid next to her and grabbed the remote. "You can go to sleep, I'd like to watch some TV," I said. She gave a small nod and curled up, watching me with her big blue eyes. "What?" I asked. "Nothing," she said. "I am glad to be here with you instead of in New York with Ben," she muttered. "That mech with the porsche?" I asked. She nodded. "It's not like I hate him but... I don't know," she bit her lip. "Do you think that's egoistical to say?" she asked. "You don't have to spend time with people you don't want to be around with," I said. "It's just... my mom is forcing it a little bit. I feel like they are talking to each other behind my back and I can't stand it. I hate it when people are planning things behind my back. I just want people to be straight, like you."

I laughed. "To be straight, huh? You wouldn't like it if I am straight towards you the entire time," I said. "Perhaps, perhaps not but you'll tell what's on your mind and what you don't like. Why can't others just be honest with me? If you are annoyed with me you just slam the door in my face," she said. I laughed at that, "I know but... I was just done with you, Chatty," I said. She smirked a little, "I know... I can't blame you. When I get excited or feel insecure I start talking a lot," she mumbled. "It makes you cute, just not really used to it," I murmured. "You would be a good match for my twin brother though," I said. "Sideswipe...'' She smiled a little. "At least you have a brother you can annoy when you're bored," she scoffed. "I don't like talking about it but... I have been really hurt as a little kid. I got kidnapped by a man at the age of 6. I was missing for 9 years until I escaped. I have lived in a basement for 9 years with no hope to ever escape. I just have trouble being social and stuff..."

She waved her hand and curled in the blanket. "Really? Did they catch your kidnapper?" I asked. "No, they didn't. I got away but he was never caught. They have no lead and now it's a cold case but... I am still scared he'll kill me or whatever. I just try not to think about it so much." I rubbed her scalp and saw her smile. "You are safe with me," I mumbled. "I know... I hate it when people call you a monster or when you call yourself a monster," she said. "Why? You know I kill people," I muttered. "I have seen what a real monster is and you're not one of them. You still have sanity left in you and you know the difference between good and bad. If you were a monster, I would be dead and you wouldn't stand up for me." She got a point.

The femme fell asleep. "Poor girl," I muttered to myself and switched on the TV. She was in a deep slumber, I could hear the way she was breathing. I glanced at her and caught myself still rubbing her scalp. I pulled my hand back and watched a movie till 1 AM. Paige had stolen 70% of the bed, all I had was the edge. I switched off the TV and laid her a little further away. She protested in her sleep and uttered an annoyed grunt. "Chatty, share the bed for Primus sake," I scowled as I covered her up. I was only shaking my head. She's so clumsy, talkative and a little awkward but it just makes her so adorable for some odd reason. Usually, I would be very annoyed but you can't just get mad at her. She tries so hard to fit in and prove herself yet in the meantime all she does is make a fool out of herself. I curled up behind her and listened to the sounds. She even talks in her sleep. "Sunny..." I rolled my eyes at her. She's even dreaming about me. This would be perfect blackmail material.

I listened to the conversations she had with me in her dream while I recorded everything she said. "... you're so hot. Like really hot..." I snorted. "I love you... let's have some fun." I sat up and raised a brow. I stopped the recording and poked her. "That's enough now, don't turn this into a wet dream," I mocked. She jolted awake, "what on earth?" She snapped. "I was having a good dream," she sulked. "Yeah? About what?" I asked. "Marshmallows," she muttered under her breath and turned her back towards me. I leaned closer towards her. "Nah, you weren't dreaming about marshmallows. You were dreaming about me. Don't deny it, I have proof," I said. I knew for sure she was blushing. "Don't you ever go to sleep?" She asked. "I am going to sleep now. Even in your sleep you talk. My nickname for you is absolutely perfect." She snorted but didn't reply and curled deeper into the blankets.''you're mean."

"Why?" I asked, chuckling. "I can't help it. It's not my fault I like to talk," she sulked. "Just go to sleep and dream about marshmallows," I mocked. She groaned and hit herself underneath the blanket. I chuckled and curled up as well. The next day, she was still embarrassed. "Are you getting up?" I asked. She shyly nodded and got up, walking over to the bathroom to change.