Canary /Discontinued/

Chapter 17

Narrator's POV:

Months passed by and by her first exams she found herself in a rather “odd” situation.

Texts

Calls

Hanging out

Visits

All of these were rare in her life, but now…
By now they've become common to her.

It didn't matter whether she had to go to Coffin Cakes to help out, go shopping with Beatrice or hit up an arcade with Blake, she started to cherish these moments.

She knew for sure that they don't even think twice about it.
While for her, for her, it takes a considerably long time to even process the invitation itself.

'Me?'

'Why me?'

'Why would anyone want to be around me?'

Her pessimism never failed to create thoughts like these that never missed surrounding her mind like ants do to a crumb.
And yet, time and time again, her foggy mind cleared up around them.

It made her feel nostalgic.

Reminded her of her previous group of friends.

Sure, they might have been fake but still, they have to count as friends, right?

With the passing of time their bonds strengthened and pretty soon they all began to lower their masks.

At first, it was just a glance stolen from the shelter of their defenses, then a mask slid up by a mere inch and so on until all of their defenses were discarded.

She found herself questioning her decision many times.

'Should I really be doing this?'

'What if they betray me?'

'Would they still accept me if I showed them all of it in it's damaged glory?'

She hoped that she isn't the only one having to deal with all of these worries.

She could fool herself like she did so many times, but once, just once, she wanted to see the truth.
No matter how much she lied to herself regularly, she wanted to see for herself what the case actually is.

Unfortunately, there was a single, lonely thought that kept on storming her mind. A thought so fake even she knew that it's wrong.

'What?
No.

They're not my friends...

Psssh I know better than to get attached to anyone again.'

Despite all of its efforts, all it managed to do was to repeat itself again and again.

As she finally snapped out of her thoughts, she glanced at the giant by her side.
In the eyes of others, they must be quite an odd sight.
A gruff giant and a fragile shortie making chocolate mousse in the kitchen.

There were no witnesses however, so the two could let up a bit.

Deus wasn't one to admit it, but he enjoyed these little baking sessions.

At first, he was reluctant to share his own sanctuary with anyone else, but by now she became a part of it. While becoming a version of it herself.

Even in the crossfire of spying eyes, he always managed to loosen up a little in the company of her.

They say damaged people sort of pull the others close to themselves as if they were magnetic.
He wasn't too sure about it, but even if it is the case so far he has never regretted it.

I mean, what could be so bad about having each other's backs?

Sure, they may be mostly opposites but still; all the little similarities they shared just made them connect more.

She trusts him, and he knows how fragile trust can become.

So, day after day, he worked on showing her that he means no harm.

When she finally allowed him to see the person without the disguise, what he found underneath it shocked him.
Hell, it even frightened him in a sense.

How?

How can someone so caring and soft
have such a past?

How can anyone do this to her?

So, as he finally saw all the cracks, redness, scars, and bruises, he made a promise to himself.

It was a rather overdone one...

He promised to stay.

Day after day, no matter the circumstances, he wowed to accompany her through this corrupted world.
As long as he can go on, she will always have a shoulder to lean or even cry on.

Sadly, another thing he saw when the mask came off was a broken soul.
And as much as it pained him to, he knew that he can't heal her.

He's heard of the demons in her mind, of all the memories that hunt all of her waking moments, and of all the people who broke her while trying to shape her.

They never realized that she wasn't made of clay, they've never witnessed her chipping as she was shoved into a premade mold.

They've seen it as a requirement because they've all craved the “finished product”.

They all wanted to mold her into their desired person.

Daddy's girl

Clueless girlfriend

Head of the class

And as all of these failed one by one, she got new roles given to her.
Ones that seemed to fit like a glove.

Punching bag

Dumbass

Laughingstock

Target

Loser

Second choice

So, after getting to know all of these, he made his choice.

Hide it all away.

Everything ranging from the fast heartbeat to the blood rush.

She already has enough on her plate, the least she needs now is a relationship.

She needs a friend, not a boyfriend, and he managed to see it crystal clearly.

However, he was selfish, just like everyone else.

So while hanging onto his fleeting crush he grasped onto whatever he can get, be it a minute or just a single word, he took it while trying to tell himself that it's enough.

How foolish.

It was never enough.

He craved more.

More than just an hour, more than a lengthy phone call, more than a few smiles.

He wanted to have her in his arms where she's safe and sound.

Still.

He made do with what he has.

All the times they talked, hugged, laughed together; filled them with genuine joy.

And that; that was enough for him.