Canary /Discontinued/

Chapter 26

Narrator's POV:

Fragile like a teacup, that was the best way to describe her current state.
With the only difference being that if a cup breaks it can be easily fixed, while for her…

If she breaks she'll remain as shattered pieces of glass beyond repair.

She has been aware of her state for a long time now and tried with all her might to keep it together but…

Would it really be so terrible to just stop trying?

Would it be so bad to just end it all?

Would it hurt to stop seeking approval and acceptance?

(Y/n) knew that thoughts like these won't lead anywhere but even the simple, mere thought of not having to try any more filled her with a kind of serenity she hasn't experienced in a while.

As she gradually came back to her senses, she took her eyes off of the chipping paint covering the wooden boards in front of her and redirected her gaze to the woman sitting across her.

Dr. Acearo readjusted her glasses as she jotted something down in her notepad.

𝒯𝒽ℯ 𝓅𝒶𝓉𝒾ℯ𝓃𝓉 𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒹𝒾𝓈𝒶𝓈𝓈ℴ𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓉ℯ𝓈 𝓆𝓊𝒾𝓉ℯ 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝓆𝓊ℯ𝓃𝓉𝓁𝓎.

“Alright Miss (L/n). Have you been doing the exercises I recommend you last time?”

The girl meekly nodded.

She wasn't surprised by her behavior at all.
After their first session two months ago, she made sure to consult her previous psychiatrist.
That, and the amount of experience she has gained during her 20 years of practicing, prepared her for everything.
All the way from anger tantrums to panic attacks, she knew how to deal with them.

According to her, she stopped getting treatment from her previous doctor due to financial problems.
She also mentioned that she only started again due to her surroundings encouraging her to do so.

Dr. Acearo flipped back in her notebook and read over her notes.
According to them, she comes from a dysfunctional home.
Her mother raised her alone in poverty up until she started bringing her temporary boyfriends to the house.
The girl put up with the elder woman and her partner's abuse for 18 years before running away from home after the mother's current boyfriend attempted to rape her.

“Alright.
Now tell me how your anxiety has been since our last conversation.

Did it get worse?”

The (h/c) shook her head and said
"It's been the same.”

“How about the panic attacks and mental breakdowns?
Did they get more frequent or stronger in intensity?”

She shook her head again.
“No, there's been no change about them.”

“What about the depression and self harming tendencies?”

“They're still the same.”

“So nothing got better?”

“No.”

She scribbled something down again.

ℰ𝓈𝒸𝒾𝓉𝒾𝓁 𝒹ℴℯ𝓈𝓃'𝓉 𝓈ℯℯ𝓂 𝓉ℴ 𝓂𝒶𝓀ℯ 𝒶 𝒹𝒾𝒻𝒻ℯ𝓇ℯ𝓃𝒸ℯ 𝒾𝓃 𝒽ℯ𝓇 𝒸𝒶𝓈ℯ.

“Let's start shrinking the dosage.
Switch to half a pill per day.
After you stopped taking this, we'll try out another one.”

(Y/n) didn't argue with her decision.

Soon enough, she was dismissed with a wave of her hand.

Yet another useless session.
She was getting tired of these.

Why the hell should she open up to any of these so-called “professionals” if they're just going to start acting like this sooner or later!?

The (h/c) made her way over to the bus stop while putting her earbuds back in.

She stopped meter's away from the crowd as her gaze went over the absence note again.

Around 5 minutes later, the sound of an engine left on made her glance up.

She took the change out of her pocket and got on the bus.

She made her way to one of the few empty seats in the crowded vehicle and sat down, ready to ignore everyone until her stop.
Unfortunately, this didn't go like she planned.
Just a stop later, a hand tapped her shoulder.

She took an earbud out and looked up at the guy.
“What?” She asked in a bored tone.

“Is this seat free?” He pointed over to the one beside her.

(Y/n) nodded, and he took it.

She was ready to put her earbud back in before the brunette spoke up.

“So… You like BMTH?

“Yeah. How did you know?”

“You were listening to 1×1 when I asked you about the seat.
I could hear it all the way there.” He gave her a clumsy smile.

The girl's eyes widened, and her hand flew to her phone to lower the volume. Her cheeks were tinted pink with embarrassment.

The guy's green eyes stayed focused on her.
She knitted her brows, looked over at him and raised one in a questioning manner.

“Didn't you go to Cloudlight in elementary?”

Her eyebrows raised in surprise.
“Yeah, I did.
Why?”

“I think you were in my group.” He grinned at her.
“My name's Chris.” He held his hand out for a shake.

“I'm (Y/n)” She mumbled before shaking the outstretched limb.

“It's been so long.
How have you been?”

“Okay.

How about you?"

“I've been doing great.”

His smile didn't falter, which for some reason unnerved the girl.
For the rest of the road, he tried to keep the conversation going.
Not once dropping his eager and excited expression.