This might be long so read if you give a fuck
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I don't even know where to begin.
About four years ago, it was a school morning and life was shitty as per usual.
And to make it short and sweet, when I first laid my eyes on him on that TV, I couldn't look away.
When I heard him speak, I couldn't hear my parents yelling at eachother.
When I heard him giggle and watched his face light up with that heart stopping smile, I completely forgot I had a bus to catch to get to the hellhole (aka school) and to make matters worse I had 3 tests that day. But I guess you could say it was worth it.
From there the rest was history consisting of days and nights filled with me watching old videos from the x factor days, and practically stalking the boys on any form of social media I could, really.
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I don't think anyone is a stranger to the fact that zayn is easily the one that recieves bullshit on a regular basis.
Or to the fact that he is a really reserved person. I think some people don't really know what that means. It fucking means he isn't comfortable with every goddamn detail about his life spread out on a table for everyone to see and criticize like they have a fucking right to do so.
Every little movement he makes, is judged so heavily for no good reason but to bring him down.
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MOVING RIGHT ALONG
I FOUND OUT HE WAS LEAVING AN HOUR AGO AND IM ON MY RUG IN THE MIDDLE OF MY ROOM CRYING WITH NO ONE TO COMFORT ME
IVE BEEN LOVING THAT BASTARD FOR 4 YEARS AND HES LEAVING BECAUSE NOBODY WILL LET HIM FUCKING BREATHE AND LIVE HIS LIFE WITHOUT BEING JUDGED AND CRITICIZED FOR EVERYTHING HE DOES.
I HATE THE WORLD RIGHT NOW
I NEED A FUCKING HUG IVE LOVED HIM FOR SO LONG AND IVE IDOLIZED HIM FOR SO LONG MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE IN THIS WORLD AND THIS HAPPENS
I DONT KNOW HOW TO FEEL IM JUST IN A STATE OF HEARTBREAK AND DISBELIEF
NOW THERES HELLA PEOPLE GETTING PISSED AT ZAYN FOR DOING THIS
AND IM JUST SO CONFUSED AS TO HOW YOU CAN BLAME HIM FOR THIS
I CAN NEVER BLAME HIM FOR IT, AND NOBODY CAN TELL ME THEY DONT SEE HOW HES TREATED DIFFERENTLY FROM THE OTHERS.
IF YOU TRULY LOVE HIM THEN YOU WOULD WANT WHATS BEST FOR HIM NOT YOU.
I should stop yelling now I'm sorry, I just, ugh I would throw my pie for him yano.
We just have to get it together, and who knows maybe somewhere down the line he will come back to us when he's well.
I don't honestly think him leaving is set in stone forever as long as the rest of our boys keep working hard and doing the same as they were doing when zayn was with them.
I'm off to grieve in peace now
Byyeeeeee don't drown yourself in icecream over this like me
