Spencer
The past week has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I've been happy some days and others I haven't wanted to get out of bed. It's been quite the change for me.
Ever since I've met Harry towards the end of February beginning of March, I've noticed how drastic my mood has changed. I was no longer sad all of the time or wanting to be alone the majority of my day. That was always the last thing on my mind.
There's been a sudden flip in my mood recently where I want to be alone and away from everyone including Harry himself. Weirdly, I haven't been wanting to be around him constantly. I wish I could figure it out so I didn't have to shut him out as I have been. He doesn't deserve that in the slightest.
He's been texting me a couple of times a day for the past week asking if I'm okay or not. Usually, I'll send him simple responses saying I'm okay or I just won't answer him at all. I know he's worried about me, but he also knows that I need space when something like this happens. He understands me when I get in my head like this. I appreciate him giving me the space I need, but I also want him here with me at times. But I can't put him through being here while I'm not here in a way. I'm such a different person when the mental health declines that I don't want him to see me like this at all.
That brings me to today.
It's been a week since I had my day with my dad and sister and ended up spending the night with Harry. The day after that, Harry took me home and spent a while at my house while nobody was there. We talked for a few hours before he had to go home and I was then alone. I occupied myself by watching a movie and browsing stores online. Other than that, nothing happened that day.
The next day though, I woke up not feeling like myself. That's when I knew that my next few days were going to be quite odd for me. I was sad for a reason I still don't know and stayed in my bed all day. I ignored the incoming calls and texts from Harry and didn't do all that much, to be honest.
The following days, I stayed hidden in my room. My mom had gotten home from a trip she had been on and tried to talk to me. But with me being in the state I have been in, I never answered to anything she had been saying so she yelled at me. Once she had finished her yelling, she slammed the door and went about her day. It's been a few days since that and I have to see her.
Today has been a lot better than my previous days. I've gone upstairs and had an actual meal. I talked to my sister and dad like I hadn't been ignoring them for an entire week. Like right now, I'm sitting at the kitchen island talking with my father.
"I have to leave Tuesday," he stated as he typed away at his computer.
"What do you mean you have to leave Tuesday?" I asked. "Where are you going? Are you coming back?"
"Relax, Spence," he chuckled. "I'm only gone for three days. I have to go out to LA to meet with people about expanding the business, that's it. I'll be coming back,"
"You better," I said. "I don't think I could continue to live in this house without you being here,"
"I'm not leaving anytime soon, don't worry honey," he smiled up at me. "Have you been speaking to loverboy?" he asked, changing the subject.
"Uh, kind of," I mumbled. "Why?"
"He called me yesterday asking how you've been. I told him you've been hiding out in your room alone. He seemed very worried about you,"
"Since when do you have his number?" I asked, clearly surprised.
I didn't think that my father had my boyfriend's number or vice versa. It was a bit odd to wrap your head around if you think about it long enough.
"He gave it to me in case I ever needed it," he answered. "He's a good kid. I would still like to meet his parents,"
"You sound like his mom," I rolled my eyes. "She said the same thing to me the other night about wanting to meet you,"
"Set that up then, would ya?" he asked as I got off the barstool.
"I'll see what I can do about that," I laughed. "If you need me, I'll be in my dungeon,"
I ran down the basement stairs and the hallway to my bedroom. I flopped down on my bed and picked up my phone. I noticed that I had several text messages from my friends and Harry. I opened up the many messages from Harry first.
Loverboy: Are you alright?
Loverboy: How are you feeling today?
Loverboy: I miss you
Me: I miss you too
I closed out of my and Harry's shared messages and went to see what my friends had texted me. From what I had read, it was all nonsense. I decided not to respond to anything they had said and instead locked my phone. I threw it down on my bed next to me and loudly sighed as I threw my head down on my pillow.
I was rudely interrupted when there was a knock on my door. I lifted my head to see my dad opening my door with a bag of food in his hand. He walked closer to me, setting the bag down on my nightstand. I furrowed my eyebrows at him bringing me food.
"Loverboy brought this over for you," he answered my question. "He wants to know that you're eating. And he wanted me to tell you that he misses you. I suggest you see him soon before he goes insane,"
"I'm going to call him tomorrow," I nodded. "I'm starting to feel like myself again so by tomorrow I should be all good again," I explain.
"Good," he nodded before he left my room.
I sat up in my bed and grabbed the food off of my nightstand. I opened the bag and began eating the french fries that were inside. I grabbed my phone and went into my and Harry's messages for the second time in ten minutes.
Me: Thank you
Me: I plan on calling you tomorrow. Be ready.
Loverboy: No need to thank me, love. I'll be waiting for that call.
I smiled as I set my phone down and began eating more of the food that Harry had brought for me. I don't know what I did to deserve somebody like him. He genuinely cares about me in every aspect.
He respected me this whole week even though I barely answered his texts. He knew that I had to be alone to get out of this weird funk I was in. He made sure to bring me food so that he knew I at least ate something. He is such a great person. I don't know how I could ever repay him for every little thing he's done for me.
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Perfectly Lonely |H.S| A.U *SLOW UPDATES*
FanficI thought I enjoyed being lonely. That is until I met him. Now I enjoy being lonely with him. September 2021 -