𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐙𝐄𝐒 ☾ r. lupin

₃₆ waltzes

REMUS FELT the uncomfortable prickling in his skin early Tuesday morning. It was still dark outside and his bunkmates were still fast asleep when he started tossing and turning, immediately uncomfortable. He hated it. All of it.

He never felt like himself during this time. He was angry, annoyed, overly proud, it all depended. Feeling this way for the rest of the day? He was less than thrilled.

__________

"You doing okay, Moony?" Sirius had asked, looking at him during breakfast.

Remus had already devoured two plates of breakfast, now he was chewing on a piece of sausage from the large platter in the middle. Shooting a look at Sirius, he held two thumbs up, twitching a bit at a sharp pain in his thigh.

Did he mention he hated the fur? Because it was a nuisance.

Lily had tapped Remus quickly on the shoulder, signifying that it was time for class soon. He nodded at her and swiped another sausage from the table, gesturing towards the door that they all needed to leave. Peter was quick to snag one more muffin before the group gathered their things and headed to their defense class.

Remus had sort of nodded off as they walked to class, not paying attention to the conversation but still hearing everyone's voices. He merely stared ahead, watching the door to get into their class. The nearer they got the more antsy the boy became, fiddling with his fingers and rubbing them against the books he had in his hand.

The leather felt smooth against his fingers as he walked into the classroom, right to the back where he sat with Thalia. Where he usually sat, would be the correct wording. There hadn't been many sightings of her after the Hogsmeade trip.

Except for today. She was walking through the door, her robes swishing the floor as she got closer and closer. Her hair was blonde now, her bangs red as they blended in with the underneath of her hair. Her eyes were as blue as ever and her eyeliner was smudged almost perfectly around her eyes.

No detail went unnoticed by the mousy haired boy. Her robes, the shoes she was wearing, the frilly socks she wore. It was all etched into his head, everything. The realization came crashing down on him quicker then anything had before, not even when he realized Rhiannon was interested in him. His heart was pounding in his chest, louder and louder as she walked closer.

Every thought he had ever had about Thalia came flooding into his head. Every instinct he had was screaming at him to confront her, to tell her everything he was thinking. He definitely had the confidence to do so. What was stopping him?

__________

Thalia had dyed her hair last night, having to get creative with her spells. When she was done, she was in love with it. Her hair was now blonde and red, the underneath dyed so lovely that she could have cried. She chopped off a hefty amount of hair, too. Her grown out hair now just above her shoulders. It bounced and flowed as she walked, leaving her smiling as she moved in the mirror.

It was the most confident she had felt in days. Her face no longer puffy from the tears shed at night, she smelled better, and her hair. Merlin her hair. It used to be an absolute rats nest. Knots formed throughout her hair, it was dry, and she felt dread thinking about brushing all of it out. 

Eventually she did it. She got out of bed, washed herself off, and even ran a comb through her hair. That was when she decided she needed a change. Something she wasn't unfamiliar with, but this time it wasn't just for pure indulgence. Thalia wanted to prove something. She didn't know what that something was, but she felt it deep in her chest. 

Although, she didn't quite like that decision as she walked into her defense lesson. Thalia was accustomed to stares, but when the most intense one was coming from your tablemate whom you're sure you're in love with? You'd have an anxiety flutter in your stomach too. 

Fake it until you make it was her new motto. Well, as of two seconds ago, but it was a damn good one. So, she lifted her head high and walked straight to her seat, dropping her bag on the floor as she sat down. 

Remus was staring more then usual, his gaze burning into the side of her head. What was his problem? She turned her head slightly, trying to see if he would look away. He never did. 

"Yes, Remus?" Thalia had finally said, turning her head fully as she leaned her cheek on her palm. Her body was twisted towards his as her uniform crumpled with the movement. 

"Nothing really," he started, giving her profile a look before looking at her eyes again, "just staring at the changes."

Thalia raised her eyebrows at the bluntness of his confession. He was kidding, wasn't he? 

"Funny, Remus," she responded, turning back around to the front of the classroom as she fiddled with her wand. She wanted nothing more than this conversation to end. 

"I'm not trying to be funny," he said, completely serious. This caused Thalia to turn her head again, her hair swishing about every time she moved. 

"I-" Thalia started, stuck in her thoughts. Why did everything have to change after she said all of those things at Hogsmeade? Why did she have to be jealous and hold everything in while she watched as her heart got crushed every time a Hufflepuff girl walked past? 

"We're stuck in such a broken waltz, Lupin," she whispered, "it's like we're waltzing around each other, trying not to break each other before we can even get close enough to touch." Thalia turned her head again, closing her eyes for a second as she regretted the words that came out of her mouth. 

"Than let's change that," Remus replied. 

She didn't expect that. 

"What?" She said, eyes widening a bit as she realized what she said. 

"I said, let's change that, Frilio," Remus said firmly. His shaggy brown hair fell into his face as he moved to look at her better. 

"What if I want to change what we have going on? Have you ever thought about that?" 

"You can't, Remus. You have someone else that you need to be worried about."

"Says who?"

Thalia furrowed her eyebrows at him. "Rhiannon, Remus."

Oh right.

_____ A/N _____

hello lovlies. i abso - freaking - lutely want to shoot myself, or cry. maybe both. anyway, this is my last week until break. finally ! *cries* anyway, please enjoy these mere crumbs of the story. i absolutely hate it and want to rewrite this whole book. but that's an adventure for another day. 

remember to eat and drink water !

<3