𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐙𝐄𝐒 ☾ r. lupin

₂₆ regret

"MOONY YOU didn't. Tell me you didn't," James said. His glasses were on the tip of his nose, sliding off his face as he stared at his friend.

With a sigh Remus shook his head, crossing his arms as he picked at the scars on his skin. He was such an idiot. Why the hell would he bring a sweater to a girl? Especially when that girl is Thalia. James, Sirius and Peter all hated her, so why did Remus want to please her so bad?

"Whoops," Remus whispered, staring at the floor. He flicked his eyes up for a moment as he made brief eye contact with James.

"Whoops? Whoops?!" James said, his eyes growing wide.

Remus sighed and stopped picking at his skin; tilting his head up he stared James right in the eyes. James never really understood these types of things because he's been in love with Lily since they were kids.

"Yes, James. Whoops. Do you think I like that I feel this way? Do you think I like feeling like I'm betraying my friends every time my bloody face heats up? Do you think I like that I like this girl? No! I don't! So stop pretending like you understand because it's always been you and Lily, perfect Lily."

At this point his chest was heaving up and down, his arms limp at his sides. James' face morphed from angry to surprised. Remus had never yelled like that before, had never talked to them about his feelings, really.

"Why her, Remus?" James said quietly, still staring at his friend. 

He didn't know.

Why would it be her? All she did was tease him, treat him poorly, tell him that she hates him...

"I don't know," Remus said. With one last breath he turned around and walked out of the common room, shutting the portrait behind him as he walked through the hallways. He was dressed correctly for the season now, with a sweater and tan trousers. It was a relief not shivering while he walked, especially because he didn't want to walk back into the common room. 

Remus silently made his way towards the Astronomy Tower, passing painting after painting before he realized how close it was to Thalia. He huffed and quickly made a detour towards the Black Lake, walking outside. Now he regretted not grabbing a coat. There was a breeze that nipped at his neck and cheeks, making his nose grow cold. 

"Bloody hell," he whispered, wrapping his arms around himself as he continued walking. The grounds were starting to freeze over. The grass was turning yellow, the trees brown and red with sparse leaves. It didn't do much to raise his spirits. 

And yet he kept walking. The lake was getting closer, the sun reflecting off of the surface creating a glimmer in the water. Remus spotted a tree not far from the lake, so he made his way over to it. It was a tree with a large trunk and filled with red leaves. He sat down at the base of it, sitting with his knees tucked up to his chest as he leaned back into the trunk of it. 

He let out a breath and closed his eyes, leaning his head back a bit more. The sun was still bright, but he didn't care. Remus just needed a bit of salvation, even if it was only 50 degrees outside. 

There was a crunch of leaves beside him that made his heart pick up a bit. He looked up and saw a girl beside him, merely staring at him as he froze underneath the tree. She had long black hair and brown eyes, her nose sloped and she had a sprinkling of freckles along her t-zone. She was tall and was wearing a peculiar pair of pants. 

"Sorry to startle you," she started, staring right at him. "I just wanted to ask if you were okay, it's quite cold today," she finished. 

Remus stared at her for a second. He wasn't expecting her to be so nice - not after Thalia, at least. She was pretty, almost like a fairy. Her nose was small, her hands were dainty, and she moved with a slight grace that he hadn't seen before. 

"Are you okay?" She spoke. 

Remus widened his eyes a bit when he realized he hadn't spoke and merely stared at her. "Erm, yes! Yes, sorry. I'm fine," he finally said. 

The girl smiled and stuck her hand out towards him, bouncing a bit on the balls of her feet. "My name's Rhiannon," she said. 

Remus stared at her hand for a second before he took it in his own, shaking it slightly. "Remus Lupin," he said. 

"Oh I know, you call your friend group the Marauders, right?" She asked, her eyes growing a bit. 

"Yeah, we do."

"Wonderful," she finished. 

Remus smiled back as he stood up, realizing that this girl came up to just above his shoulders. She was tall. With a smile he gestured towards the school. "Want to go inside?" He asked. 

"Of course! Let's go to the kitchens, I want to get some tea," she said, beginning to walk towards the school. 

He nodded and followed the girl back, listening as she talked. She started asking questions about him, whether or not he had siblings, where he was from, what year he was. It was nice talking about something other than Thalia. It was refreshing. 

When the two teens got into the school, they ran into none other than Thalia Frilio. She was walking with two other girls. Remus caught Thalia's eye for a second before he looked away, continuing to follow Rhiannon. He wasn't going to think about her anymore, especially after his talk with James. He wasn't going to let himself be fooled that she could change, that he could make her different. 

Remus had had his fair share of toxic people in his life. 

He didn't need another one to add to the list. 

_____ A/N _____

apologies for taking so long to update my loves ! it's the last quarter of school, so i'm trying to catch up a bit. anyway, i hope i don't ruin the name rhiannon for any of you. good morning, good evening, and good night !

remember to eat and drink water !

<3