Jack Of All Trades | COMPLETED

Chapter 34

I realized that in order to attain a good life, you must be willing to sacrifice at least something that you've grown fond of. You can't get everything in this life, and it's okay. Siguro kung may isang bagay na natutunan ko sa istorya ng buhay ko, 'yon ay ang pagiging kontento.

Mahirap magsakripisyo. Mas mahirap kung mahal na mahal mo ang isasakripisyo mo. Life is just a bunch of give-and-takes. Isang araw, masaya ka. Sa susunod, matinding lungkot naman ang kapalit. But maybe, that's the thing about it. If we're able to predict our emotions, where is the thrill in that?

It's emotionally draining and confusing because there are some days when you ask the heavens: Why me? 

What's wrong with you that you need to be experiencing worse than others? Ba't palaging ikaw 'yung pinagdidiskitahan nga tadhana? 

But trust me, those days are just obstacles. You need to pull through—you have to pull through. 

Because after every sad ending is a fresh chapter. 

You're not stuck in the same situation for the rest of your life. You may not realize it but as soon as you stop hoping when your life will take a major turn, you'll realize you've been moving forward all along. 

Maybe that's the thing about life. Hangga't buhay ka, puwede kang magsimula ulit. As long as you take accountability for your past actions, then there's always room for redemption. 

Loki is one of those unpredictable things I've ever come across with. Binato siya sa'kin ng buhay noong akala ko nakalatag na lahat ng mangyayari sa'kin. He came in and never left. I've been revolving around the world with different names and personalities but Loki seems to be the only constant in my life since he met me more than seven years ago.

There wasn't a day that I didn't think of him. I always wondered what he's doing while I was doing the laundry. Palagi akong updated kapag may bagong endorsement siya o di kaya nag-level up ang company niya. 

Kahit ayaw ko na, sa kaniya pa rin ako dinadala ng tadhana.

If someone told me I would stop killing people, fall in love, have a family, and be happy, I would've laughed at their faces. I was so predictable back then. The only personality that I've ever embraced was the fact that being an assassin will forever be a part of me.

But things go the opposite way when you least expect it. The plot twist happens when you thought you weren't prepared for it.

Looking back, I would leave Loki's side again if it meant experiencing a bit of calm.

I was able to have Jeime. Nakapagtrabaho din ako sa iisang flower shop. I was able to roam freely without worrying if it's my last day or not. The blood of the people I've killed are still there, but I learned how to live with them peacefully.

I was able to forgive myself. Nakaya kong bigyan ang sarili ko ng kasiyahan na hindi kailanman matutumbasan ni Loki o kahit kanino. For the past years without him, I finally learned how to make myself happy without relying on other people.

I was happy in Italy. Beyond happy. But I was happier leading a normal life.

I just wish things were different. Not the people, though, but the circumstances. 

But what's the point of wishing when I could just live in the moment then make the most of it, right?

I was sitting on the sun lounger, sipping my guava juice, while I looked at my son playing with his father at the beach.

Nakaupo si Loki sa buhangin habang kinakausap ang anak namin. Jeime was standing between Loki's spread legs. Pakiramdam ko may ginawa na naman siya tapos pinagsasabihan siya ng ama.