Jack Of All Trades | COMPLETED

Epilogue (Part 03)

As much as I wanted to move, I couldn't. As much as I wanted to get the hell away from her, my feet remained glued to the floor. And as much as I wanted to leave her here to die, I couldn't just do that to my own mother.

Maybe that's where I come to a disadvantage. I trust and forgive people too easily. I lack pillars to defend for myself as soon as I remember all the good memories that we had.

I wanted to hate her. God, she just ordered someone to kill me. She made me lose all hope in humanity? How can one even move on from that? I have every right to leave her here to die. I have every excuse to cut all ties with her and live my life as if she never became a part of it.

But as soon as I saw the defeat in her eyes, all of the loathing and hatred crumbled down. I was overwhelmed with everything that I knew about her. Throughout my childhood years, she was the perfect mother. Until she wasn't. Until she became a criminal. Until she became a monster. But no matter how much I convince myself that I should be hating her, I don't. Because with the anger I feel towards her comes with hurt.

I don't hate her, I just feel so fucking maimed. I feel bad for myself for trusting and loving someone who should be there to fend off the monsters, not be one.

The betrayal I felt ricocheted with a huge pang on my chest. How did the person I knew for a long time easily say the word death as if she isn't the one who gave birth to me? Would she have been satisfied if I did die? Would she feel like she lost a part of herself too if I passed away?

I was halfway out the door-halfway to the family who will never turn their back on me-until I heard her speak.

"Viserys."

I stiffened. She's the only one who could put so much weight on my name. I didn't dare look. I was afraid that if I do, the anger I feel would vanish when I see how much she resembles me... or how much I resemble her.

"How do you sleep at night knowing what you did to me?" her teetch chattered in anger as a single tear cascaded down her cheeks.

The taste of blood started to fill my mouth because of how hard I bit my lower lip. If only she knew that I never had an ounce of sleep because of what I did to her. If only she knew...

"Mamma-"

I tried to reach for her but she scrambled away from me as if she was disgusted and mortified at the same time. Then I wondered how we ended up in this mess. Why are we at each other's throats now when once upon a time, she was the only person I'd run to whenever I need help?

We wouldn't be here if only Mamma chose me over money and power. If only she chose her family.

The mansion was burning. The place I grew up in will be reduced into embers and if I don't get out in time, so will I. And so I held her shoulders before forcing her to look at me. When our gazes met, a lump formed in my throat that was almost impossible to gulp back down.

I was looking through shattered glass. Her blue eyes gazed into mine like I was looking into a world where it's just us two. Then and there, I knew I was looking straight into my mother's soul. I knew this was her, the mother I grew up with.

"Mamma," my voice broke. Saying that while looking into the vulnerability in her eyes made me lose all of the negative things about her. This moment in time, she's just a mother with her ten year-old son.

"You live within me. Through my blood, veins, and heart... a part of you will always reside in my existence. It was never easy betraying you. I felt like I lost a mother and my best friend too. I just..." I inhaled sharply before cupping her cheeks so she could see how much I'm desperate for her to believe me. "I want us to be better than that, Mamma. We are not that kind of people."