SEPARATION ANXIETY.tokrev

✞ 𝖟𝖊 ✞

a black haired male stared at the doors in-front of him in worry. his doubt kept him in place for an hour already, and the people around him stared in worry. of course, they recognised him. he was an often guest here. the apartment that he stood in-front of belonged to his friend, kuromiya ho.

but this was a rare sight, to see him so scared, so afraid to enter the place he often called his own home. so the neighbours were getting worried as well.

"fuck it..." he says as he notices all the unwanted attention he got. he grabs the spare keys and unlocks the doors, entering immediately. ishida toshiro was greeted by complete darkness, which was unusual. but knowing what happened, he couldn't really say he's surprised. he just hoped that the female wasn't doing anything to herself.

"ho? i brought some food." he calls out and removes his shoes. he didn't want to turn the light on for some reason, so he navigated in the darkness. and he found her, hugging her knees with a warm blanket around her. she was staring at the tv, the only light and noise source inside the apartment. he smiles sadly as he sees what she's watching. it was her favourite show, tokyo revengers.

"takemichi's amazing, you know...i wish i was like him. so determined, brave and never giving up." toshiro sets down the bag of ingredients and sits down beside the girl. only now, did he notice how cold it was. that meant only one thing...she's punishing herself again. no food, no sleep, no warmth. she's making herself suffer.

"i think this is the first time you admire the main character of this show, instead of just being horny and thirsting after the rest."

she snuggles into her knees, that were brought close to her chest, even more. "i wish i had a brother like takemichi..."

"you have higashikuni."

"yeah... but where is he when i need him the most? where are all of them?" tears escape her eyes. "where are all my big bro's, when i need them? they used to keep me in check and save me from the darkness that grows rapidly inside of me. they would scold me, tell me what i'm doing wrong...and now? i'm all alone..."

"i'm here.."

she smiles sadly, as the tears kept on rushing down her face. "haya-chan and you always say you're my friends..and that's true. but i was your boss first and i still am. you can't stop me from doing something bad, you obey. you do the same. and in the end, as i'm drowning in darkness, i bring all of you down with me."

"jesus, can someone give this girl a hug!"
a certain 26 year old cries into his futon, as he re-watches his all-time favourite anime on the tv. the risen demons. it ended airing a while ago, but he couldn't help but rewatch the entire thing again and again.

hanagaki takemichi stands up with a sigh, as he pauses the show and looks around his small flat. his eyes fall on all the volumes of the very same show that he managed to collect. next to them were the dvd's, figurines and some posters.

this show made him feel in a special way. he often compared the feeling with listening to sad songs while already feeling down. it's depressing, it doesn't really make you feel better, but it's warm. while no one else understands you, it's as if the songs do. and that's what watching the risen demons felt like to the man.

"why can no one just hug her and say that everything's going to be alright! that they're here for her whenever she needs them! instead they're there, but let her suffer until the very end! what the fuck?!"

"hanagaki!" a loud voice comes through the paper like walls. the voice of his landlord. "shut the fuck up!"

the man just sighs and lays back down on his futon with a frown, thinking about the depressing ending of this anime/manga.

the show is about a girl, who became the boss of a criminal organisation at a young age. the female had always had a dark life, that caused her to 'drown in the darkness'. she starts off with being a happy child who always smiles, is kind and giving. who always protects the weak, and as the show goes on she becomes apathetic, cold, cruel... she screams for help, yet no one seems to hear her. in the end, she takes the role of an antagonist, despite being the main character. her friends and family turn against her, trying to stop the madness. and they succeed. they take down the criminal organisation, ho is gravely injured and hospitalised. and as she wakes up, it seems like a happy ending. everyone tells her that they're for her and that everything will be okay now. but it's too late.

the main character commits suicide, saying how she's broken beyond repair and that she will not fit in anymore. that there is no place left for her among them. she promises to watch over them and asks for them to live a happy life.

"i shipped her with toshiro so much..to think he moved on as soon as he left the organisation! it was obvious the two of them loved each other. the audacity of that fuck.."

takemichi sighs..and turns the show off. he turns the news on instead. and hearing the latest report of a certain incident did not help him at all...

"fucking hell..."