Earned Trust

chapter 22

"I'm surprised that Tony didn't already tell you.." you murmured, your eyes locked with the floor.
"Tell me what?" Loki asked. "Y/N.. is everything alright? You seem... little odd." he added, sounding concerned.
"Odd?" you repeated, still glancing at the floor and keeping your voice as steady as it could.
"Yes, I haven't seen you like.. this." he replied and tried not to offend you with his words. Usually at this point, you would deny his words, tell him that you were okay and nothing had happened. But that was not true, something did happen, and somehow it had affected you the way you never had thought it could. You didn't feel like the lonely and lost wolf anymore, all you felt was the anger and urge to go into the woods and slash the alpha's throat open. You wanted to get justice for your father and even Warren, though you'd had a bad relationship with him in the end.

"You remember that wolf who came by and threatened me?" you said then after few minutes of frustrating silence.
"Yes.." Loki replied, ready to hear what you had in mind.
"He died." you blurted and finally took your eyes off the floor and turned to look at him.
"Wait what?" he huffed, sounding like he didn't want to believe you.
"I.. found him... in the woods. He was going to tell me something.. but he died before he could." you told him firmly, but Loki just stared at you, his jaw had dropped a bit.
"How did he.. What he was going to tell you?" Loki asked then, clearly trying to find the proper question for you.
"It was the alpha and no, I have no idea." you said and glanced away again, trying to hide the pain in your face.

"You... care." Loki said then suddenly, making you to turn your eyes at him again and frown.
"Wha-"
"I thought you hated him, the whole pack." Loki blurted while his eyes wandered around you, trying to figure you out.
"Yes, I do hate them and him." you replied firmly, feeling your fists clenching together again. Your wolf was pissed and offended for some reason.
Then you waited for Loki to answer or say anything, but he just looked at you curiously.

"What?" you finally decided to speak up, still feeling pissed.
"I noticed that your eyes are yellow, which means that they belong to your wolf. And I assume I am talking to her right now." he said calmly, like it didn't bother him that much but more likely made him concerned. And then out of nowhere, he did something dangerous, what none of the team would have ever dared to do.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.

First, you felt like you wanted to struggle out of there by punching or biting him, but then something changed. Your wolf.. and you, began to feel more comfortable and the anger just seemed to float away.

"I know Y/N wouldn't hurt me, neither her wolf." Loki whispered into your ear. The urge to revenge, to kill, just vanished suddenly in the air. You felt your wolf lowering its shelter, letting the god make her comfortable and... safe. You hadn't felt that feeling ever since your father had died. Only once before when Loki had hugged you the very first time. There was something special about him that made your wolf less aggressive and more vulnerable. You didn't quite like it, but you understood that there must be a reason for it.

And then, after couple of minutes just being inside his arms, you finally leaned back and pulled yourself out of his strong grip.
"How did you-"
"I have learned.. a lot, during my time here." he interrupted immediately. "To be honest Y/N, I don't know why but it's very easy for me to see the difference between you and your wolf. This 'great' team of yours clearly doesn't understand it, but I do." he told you, sounding a bit embarrassed when he admitted it. You tilted your head a little, frowning at the same time. You had to admit to yourself that even you didn't recognize the difference sometimes. Even now you hadn't noticed that your wolf was the one in control, not you.
"I'm sorry..." you mumbled and looked down, but Loki lifted your head back up with his fingers.
"Don't be, I know what it is like to lose someone." he replied, and then continued with embarrassed look on his face. "Also what is it like to hide the real you."

You saw the sadness and embarrassment in his eyes as he spoke. He was clearly very uncomfortable with it, but it got you curious.
"What do you mean?" you asked. Loki sighed, looked away and then, with little flash of green light, his skin turned blue and his eyes red. The moment felt long when you both sat there in silence before Loki had enough courage to look at you again.
"I'm a frost giant. This is.. the real me." he said, his voice full of fear. He clearly had assumed that you would be disgusted.
But all you did was that you reached for his blue cheek. Your wolf was so mesmerized by his form that she forgot about boundaries and everything else around her.
"Y/N don't, it will hurt-"

But your hand was already on his cheek as you looked at him curiously. Touching him didn't hurt at all, it just felt colder than usual.
Now you finally knew why his presence on the day before full moon had actually helped you a lot more than anyone else's.

"Beautiful.." you mumbled under your breath and Loki looked down and you could swear you saw that red blush running through his cheeks underneath his blue skin. And you blushed a little too. Your wolf had been so mesmerized by him that you hadn't paid any attention to your words.

"No one has ever said that before." Loki broke the silence as he looked up again.
You frowned as you watched him change back to his human form and Loki noticed it. "Not everyone in my home Asgard knows about me, but they who do, don't really prefer that side of me." he explained and sighed heavily. You saw on his face and the way he spoke, how it really hurt him.
"My mother, Frigga, she always told me that it didn't matter to her that I was a frost giant. And she said the same about my father too, but till this day I don't believe her. I can see that disgust on my father's face when he looks at me, and he never really wanted to talk about that to anyone. And no one of the people of Asgard can know, because they might get scared. Or that's at least what my father says." Loki added and his eyes met the floor again. You actually felt sorry for him, and you also related to him. You knew damn well how it felt like to hide yourself from the world. But you also knew how bad you were when it comes to expressing feelings so you just sat there in silence, and then slowly inched your hand closer to his and grabbed it gently.
Loki flinched a little, surprised by your gesture. He looked into your eyes and it felt like you actually didn't need words with him after all. It felt like he knew what you wanted to say, and the feeling went both ways.