Our journey - The 100 imagine

Red sky at morning - 03x14

"Rising up from the deep came something massive, a huge beast with a hundred..." Between being in a coma for weeks and getting almost killed by Emerson locked in a giant tank, I didn't think it could get much worse. And yet here I am, listening to a made-up story about fighting sharks on Luna's platform. And funny enough I'm enjoying it. There's a light and playful mood, everyone is drinking and laughing... it would be a perfect day if Luna hadn't said no to taking the flame.

Everyone's still pissed about that. Octavia, Bellamy, Clarke and I are sitting in front of a campfire and yet the only thing Clarke does is watching Luna with annoyance. "Clarke, let it go." Bellamy catches Clarke staring. "We can't just leave", she says. "It's not like we have a choice." I catch Octavia's eyes and nod in agreement. "We could put the flame in her head without asking", Clarke suddenly says. "What? You don't mean that." I look at her in disbelief. "Yes I do. Get me a better idea." "You can't force people, Clarke." I look at Octavia and Bellamy for backup but they don't say anything. "What's wrong with you? If Luna doesn't want the flame then we have to find another solution." I look Clarke directly in the eye. "I thought I knew you", I say to her before standing up and walking away.

"Hey", I say to Jasper as I sit down next to him. "Woah, you look like you could use a drink or two." He smiles at me. "Yeah, it's just Clarke. She wants... she just drives me crazy, you know?" I figure it's better not to tell Jasper her plan, I don't know how he'd react to it. "I get it. She drives you crazy and yet you'd still do anything for her." "Is that how you felt about Maya?" I ask softly. "Maya was different", is the only thing he says. I see Clarke standing up and going outside, probably to force Luna to take the flame. Maybe I can try to make a difference. For Finn. I couldn't save him, but I can save Luna. "Do you like it here, Jasper?" "It is nice to not be in a war for once, I guess", he answers while giving me a strange look. "I'm going to get me a drink", I say while standing up and following Clarke outside.

On my way I cross a bunch of laughing kids following Luna's lover. Life seems nice and peaceful here, that I had figured out. I hurry outside and see Clarke talking to Luna. Right when I'm about to intervene I hear Clarke say: "Lexa was special." It's always Lexa. I can't deny that I'm jealous, but maybe I should let it go. Let her go. I don't want to end up like Jasper, hooked on someone I can't have.

I'm so deep in my thoughts that I don't hear Clarke activating the flame. I see her grabbing Luna's neck and I immediately rush forward to stop her. "Clarke, no!" My words don't matter anymore because Luna has her in no time in a headlock. Okay she can defend herself, I guess. I turn to Clarke after Luna walks past me. "Are you alright?", I ask softly. "She has the flame, goddamnit", Clarke says frustrated. I don't know how to respond to that, so I just nod.

Clarke looks at me with her beautiful blue eyes and I suddenly feel the need to kiss her. "I'm sorry", I say instead. "For what?" She looks at me with confusion in her eyes. "For everything: for our fight, for not standing by your side, for Lexa..." I feel like I'm on the verge of tears. "I should say sorry too, for leaving you and for Lexa." I can see her break behind her eyes when she says her name. "I know what she meant to you. Because... because that's what you mean to me", I say softly, looking her straight in the eye. Clarke's speechless for a second but then the corners of her mouth turn up in a soft smile. "I still care about you too."