My Sunshine | Camille O'Connell

(9) Girl in New Orleans | Part 1

It's a common trend in this family, disappointment. None of us are perfect, and in a thousand years we're all bound to get sick of each other. In those times it's also common to try and branch out, to explore on our own, but that's where the problems start. Klaus does some bullshit, Elijah, Rebekah, and I show our disappointment, we try to leave which disappoints our brother to the point of anger, we end up with a dagger in the heart for a few decades or so, and the cycle starts again.

There's no pleasing someone like Klaus unless you play exactly his way, and I don't want to do that. I'm my own person, and no one can dictate who that is but me. I gave up centuries ago, ergo his approval means next to nothing to me. However, his disappointment leads to daggers and comes from us wanting to leave the nest, or in my siblings' cases to find love. While my older brother is more precarious and has only had about four relationships in a thousand years, my sister catches feelings too easily. As for Kol, there wasn't a witch I met in this city that hadn't fallen for his charm, my baby brother had a type. While Kol had his reputation I don't think I had ever seen him express genuine feelings for someone who wasn't his family, or maybe he could never find the right person. Finn had his little romance with Sage before he was daggered, though she was dreadfully annoying. Lastly Klaus catches infatuations from time to time, but I doubt my brother knows what real love is anymore. That's what worries me the most regarding the baby. As for me, I've been with countless women over the millennia, but I've never loved. Klaus has the upper hand with too much, I won't let him hold anything else against me, this is my choice and it's worked out.

Elijah and Rebekah are another story. My big brother is not free from trial and error, despite popular belief, but I don't look up to him because he's the bastion of morality. I look up to him because of his principles. His unwavering faith and love in me and this family. Loyalty like that is hard to come by. I may not always be with him, but knowing I have someone to fall back on in times of need is what kept me from massacring Mystic Falls. He was the father figure I never had in Mikael and I love him more than anyone in this world, not that I'd tell Rebekah that.

Rebekah hasn't spoken to me since her heated argument with Klaus. She's stubborn, she always has been even as a child. My little sister can be an annoying brat, as Klaus puts it, but what he and Elijah don't understand is that attitude comes from being beaten down too many times. She's not entitled, entitled people always get their way. Unlike Klaus who simply gets whatever he desires or Elijah who doesn't make an effort to seek what he wants, my sister has fought more than anyone to be happy. It made her strong, resilient, and cunning. But what will always stand out is her kind heart, and how in a thousand years that it still beats. My sister and I feel like we're on opposite ends of a long stick, but we're each other's rocks. I need her too.

Coming back to the home we built should've been with a family united. Instead we're scattered, and I don't know what to do. About a lot of things right now.

I can't stop thinking about sunshine, my reaction to first seeing her, nor the nerves I felt during our little chitchat. I've never felt anything like this before and it scares me to death. Worse is I'm terrified to tell anyone about this. How would I even explain it, I barely understand myself.

I just need to get my thoughts under control and find Elijah, then I can leave and never look back.

'I just have to avoid Cami until then!'

First on my to-do list today is check on Hayley, then explain myself to Rebekah, then give Klaus the silent treatment. Busy day!

Unfortunately I don't find Hayley in her room, but I can hear her downstairs where I also hear my sister. Killing two birds with one stone!

As I walk outside my room, I hear my brother going on one of his long-winded monologues. He does love those, must be where Marcel gets it.

"...People do what is in their best interest, regardless of who gets hurt. Is it evil to take what one wants? To satisfy hunger, even if doing so will cause another suffering? What some would call evil, I believe to be an appropriate response to a harsh and unfair world." And here he is, playing the victim once again. I suppose Rebekah touched a nerve.