Lies and Love ✔️

Chapter 34

Do not allow yourself to be blinded by fear and anger. Everything is only as it is.

~Yuki Urishibara

Devansh

"Where were you? It's time for the exam." Aarthav came running to me as I walked into the class room.

I was busy killing my self, I was busy hurting the only person I loved so far.

"I am not doing this interview, I don't want to." I said to him but everything in my mouth had a bitter taste.

All I could see was her tears, why does it hurt me so much? I don't want to feel her pain but I do.

I hate these people trying to get me into situations that I am not ready to face, I didn't wanna talk to her but I got threatened and forced to do so by Karthik. I didn't wanna see her today, but Reyansh took me there to face her.

People pushing me into uncomfortable situations makes me angry and looking at her smiling made me feel like a loser. I was in pain and she was smiling there, it felt like someone rubbed salt on my wounds.

I was beyond furious, I was raging like bull and I took it out on her.

But why doesn't this confrontation make me feel light? Shouldn't you feel good after it? Shouldn't closure make you feel better?

But I don't, I feel like I've been crushed twice.

"Are you still thinking about her?" Aarthav asked shaking me.

I can never stop thinking about her, every single second here makes me feel like I am in my prison.

"It sucks, realizing that everything you believed in is utter bull shit. I loved her with every cell of my body, but now I feel like I've been broken into a million pieces. Everything was a lie Aarthav and she played with my heart..." I let out the tears that I've been holding for so long.

I told him everything after I came back, I needed someone to understand my pain and anger, I needed a shoulder to cry on.

"It's okay Dev, Some people love each other but are not meant to be together. Ignore it and concentrate on your future." He said consoling me.

I can't imagine a future without her, All my dreams I built till now were with her.

She loves Karthik not me, her family is planning a life with him not me, she didn't even trust me enough to tell the truth. Why did you do this Janu? Why do you keep hurting me?

Your pain, your tears are haunting me. I wish you could be mine forever.

Everyone started mumbling and walked to the windows of the class, we could hear the helicopter fan swing through the school.

"What's happening?"Aarthav asked Charan.

"Someone or something is getting airlifted, must be important." Charan shrugged before I could inquire some more our teacher came in and started the class to help everyone train before the interview.

I sat there in that dreading class with her face on my mind and replaying all my actions.

I was mad at myself when I saw her today, because that first thought was to pull her into my arms and beg her to love me more. But, all the scenes from the hospital flashed before me making me wanna leave.

She makes me weak, she makes my heart break.

I pushed her, Did she get hurt by that? She looked so weak, lost a lot of weight. Is her family feeding her? She was continuously crying and it hurt me to see that too. I was waiting for her to be mine from day 1 and my dream didn't even last for a few years, those beautiful years.