STRAY KIDS one shots 2

Habit (🎶)

SINGER : SEVENTEEN

ALBUM : AL1

RELEASED : MAY 22 2017

Changbin p.o.v

You keep meeting somebody
And laugh out loud
But nothing changes
When I think of you
Laughing somewhere
I feel like I’m losing
I feel like an idiot

Y/n: Goodbye oppa.

There you go again. Leaving me all alone in this cold house which used to filled with warmth. You claimed that you have fallen out of love with me. You claimed that you have found your one and only. You used to claimed that I'm your one and only yet you go leaving me here. You don't even spare me a glance before closing the door behind you.

I rather wish that you were having a rougher time
I want you to think of me
Because it’s hard
I want to be okay too

One night, two nights, three nights, I start to lose myself. Several nights without you here make me insane. I know that this will happen sooner or later since the day you start to come home late. Since you start to get annoyed with me for everything I did for you. Since you curse at me.

I know I need to accept the fact that you that are happier now.

I feel my lips dry
The lips that used to call you so much
I realized then, like a habitual saying
That I desperately looked for you as I called for you
I want to embrace you like I did then
And tell you that I want to smile

Changbin:*mumble* Y/n where are you?

Every time I try to forget you, my lips call for you again. My mind is forcing me to forget you yet my lips keep on calling your name.

Changbin:*mumble* Y/n. Y/n, I miss you.

I can't sleep at night. My lips keep calling your name and my hands keep searching for you. My body long for your warmth that you used to give me.

When I close my eyes and count one and two
Before I know it, I’m asleep and
I look for you in my dream unknowingly
I think it’s a lie that I want to forget you

I finally fall asleep for the first time since. I thought that I will be able to sleep peacefully, at least for tonight. But why? Why did you appear in my dream? Why did you appear in my dream while calling my name with those sinful lips of yours? Why do you call for me when your hand are inside other man's grip? Did you hate me that much untill you won't let me fall asleep peacefully?

No
Maybe it’s become a habit instead
I think I want to forget
Your name that I’m calling again even now

Waking up. Sleeping. Waking up. Sleeping. Everything seems in repeat and I feel empty. Is this what people's felt when they lost their one?

Changbin:*mumble* Y/n, where are you?

I rather wish that you were having a rougher time
I want you to think of me
Because it’s hard
I want to be okay too

Can I be selfish and hope for you not to be happy? Can I be selfish and hope for you to come back to me? I wish I could hope that you will lost all your happiness if you are far away from me. I wish I could. But I can't. My heart, which prefer to see you laughing your usual laugh, can't let me hope for those.

I feel my lips dry
The lips that used to call you so much
I realized then, like a habitual saying
That I desperately looked for you as I called for you
I want to embrace you like I did then
And tell you that I want to smile

Waking up again today. I touched my lips and it's dry. Again. I touched my cheek and it's wet. Again. Headache come hitting me right in the head making me fall again to darkness that I try to run away from.

I want to tell you that I want to see you
Now that you’re gone
The habit
Of calling you
I live, unable to erase it
Because of you

There you are again. In your white dress. Standing with your loved ones. Holding hand in hand, holding a bouquet of flower in your others. Walking slowly down the altar with smile decorating your face.

Changbin:*shout**desperate* You can't leave me! Come back!

I scream for you to come back. Not even a glance you give me as if my voice never reach your ear. Your ear which I used to whisper my feelings for you.

I feel my lips dry
The lips that used to call you so much
I realized then, like a habitual saying
That I desperately looked for you as I called for you
I want to embrace you like I did then
And tell you that I want to smile

Changbin:*mumble* Y/n, I'm gonna forgot you now.

That's what my mouth said yet it called your name again the next morning. You slowly fade away in my dream reminding me that you are not mine now. This habit which I loved before is hated by me now. The habit of calling your name. Calling your name untill my lips dried and pushing me back to darkness.