STRAY KIDS one shots 2

Feel Empty

Author p.o.v

Y/n, laying on the bed she shared with her two years old boyfriend, stare blankly on the white ceiling above her. She doesn't know what happened but she feels like something is bothering her. Something is there, inside her heart, and it need to be let out but she can't let it out.

Everything has went well today. She started her day with the usual, finished two projects that were assigned, had lunch with co-workers, even getting home in time. Everything is going well. At least, before she felt these crazy feelings inside her.

She wonders what happened to her that made her this, sad? Frustated? She doesn't even know how to describe it. She does feel confused and wanna know what these feelings are.

Y/n: Should I ask him?

Y/n:*shake her head* Let's not bother him.

With that small conversation she had with herself, she begins the staring contest between her and the ceiling once again.

Felix p.o.v

Felix:*groan* Damn, today practice sure was tiring.

I stepped inside our shared house with my girlfriend expecting a warm hug ready to engulf me in. She usually is seated on the couch placed close to the window, having her sweet tea time. Or when she is feeling like it, she will cook me some warm home cooked meal. Some times she will warm some left over and its more than enough for me. Seeing her face lits up after a tiring day already heal me enough.

But, where is she? She is not on the couch nor in the kitchen.

Felix: Y/n? Cupcake?

Why I called her cupcake? Only one reason behind it. We met at Seungmin's sister cafe and she was eating cupcakes at that time. And, that's the story for other time.

Felix: Y/n? I'm home.

A distant voice soon come greetings my ears. A voice belongs to her but its isn't her typical bubbly voice. A voice that reflects emptiness.

Felix: Where are you cupcake?

"Bedroom." The same voice come again. A voice that seems distant and empty. 'Is she having hard time today?' is what being questioned by me now. I put my dance bag on the floor before walking to our shared bedroom. I open the door so slow that it doesn't even let out a single creak.

She is here.

She is there. Laying on our bed, having staring contest with the white ceiling. Her's face shows nothing. Not even a single expression are there.

Felix:*softly* Cupcake?
Y/n: You are home Lixie.

It's not her. She never welcome me with those empty voice. I walk toward her and take a seat beside her. My hand found its way to her, squeezing her soft one softly.

Y/n: Lixie.
Felix: Yes cupcake?
Y/n: How's your day?
Felix: It was good. Minho hyung lost our rock paper scissors and bought us coffee.
Y/n: Minho oppa must be sulky.
Felix:*chuckle* He is.

She does ask me about my day but it feels different. It seems as if she only asks that for my sake and not hers.

Felix: How's yours?
Y/n: It went well. I finished two projects and even hung with my co-workers.
Felix: It sure sounds great cupcake.
Y/n:*nod* It is.

Felix: Cupcake?
Y/n: Yes Lixie?
Felix:*careful* Are you okay?
Y/n: I am Lixie.
Felix:*worried* Cupcake.
Y/n: I'm okay Lixie.

She is not. She is far from being okay. Though her voice tell me she is okay, her expression doesn't change a bit. It still display those empty emotions.

Felix: Cupcake, it's okay.
Y/n: I'm okay Lixie.
Felix: I'm here.
Y/n: I know you are.
Felix: It's okay to let it out cupcake.
Y/n: Let what out Lixie?
Felix: Let everything out.
Y/n: I'm okay.
Felix: I'll be here.
Y/n: I know you are.
Felix: And I'll always be.
Y/n: I know.
Felix: Even when you broke down.

As the sentence left my mouth, y/n stays silent and doesn't reply like what she did with my other reassurance sentences. Her hand that's in my hand start to tremble little by little. Her's eyes start shaking. Her's face is crunched little by little.

She can't hold it back any longer.

Felix: I'm here.
Y/n:*whisper* I know.
Felix: I'll always be here.

I open my arms towards her and close my eyes. I know how much she hates being seen like this. Being seen by others when she is in her worse. I could feel how careful she is when she is entering my arms. Once I feel she is fully inside, I close my arms let it rest on her back that is trembling by now. My eyes are still closed even when I rest my chin on top of her head as she burried her's face on my shoulder.

Felix: I'm here for you cupcake.
Y/n:*whisper* I know.
Felix: It's okay to let it out.

Felix: I won't see a thing but I'll always be here.

As if it's on cue, tears start dripping from her eyes, wetting my tee. Her body trembles more and her grips on mine got stronger. I said nothing and do nothing. I am here only for her to lean on me.

All of my body parts froze but not stiffened. The only parts that move are my hands. My right pat her back softly while my left search for her's hand. With my eyes closed it sure is harder but I still found it in the end.

Y/n:*whisper* I feel empty.
Felix: Let me fill you in.
Y/n:*shake her head* You can't. It's too empty.
Felix: I'll try hard to fill it in.
Y/n: Even when it's that empty?
Felix: Yes, even when it's that empty.
Y/n: I never feel these feelings Lixie.
Felix: It must be confusing.
Y/n:*nod* It is.
Felix: It must be scary.
Y/n: It is.
Felix: Do you figure it out now?
Y/n: I do.
Felix: I'm glad.
Y/n: Can we stay like this a little bit longer?
Felix: We sure can.
Y/n: Even when I take too long?
Felix:*nod* Even when you take too long.
Y/n: You can open your eyes Lixie.

With her permission, I opened my eyes and they quickly search for hers. As soon as our eyes meet, I'm scared to break the contact. Her eyes are still brimming with tears but her eyes are not empty now. They are filled with warmth.

My hands slowly found their way to her tear stained cheeks and wipe away those freshly dripped ones.

Felix: You're so beautiful cupcake.
Y/n:*giggle* You look good too Lixie.

I softly kiss both of her cheeks before sticking my forehead with her's. Eyes still locks with each other before I break it with closing my eyes.

Felix: Please never forget that kay?
Y/n: What if I do?
Felix: I'll remind you again.
Y/n: To hold my hands?
Felix:*nod* I'll do everything to make sure you are happy cupcake.
Y/n:*giggle* You are cheesy Lixie.
Felix: I'm saying the truth cupcake. I'll do everything to protect those cute giggles.