Wall&T | Enhypen

1. House of Idiots

This is a fanfiction. Disclaimer - These are fictional characters with personalities altered and exaggerated for entertainment values.

JK=Jake, J=Jay, JW=Jungwon, HS=Heeseung, SH=Sunghoon, SO=Sunoo, NK=NI-KI

Preview - Mi casa su casa

<An Article on JK has just be published.>

JK: Who the F* approve my cover for my article? Assistant: Sorry Boss, I did, I couldn't reach you and it needed an approval to go out. JK: Don't call me that. A: Sorry CEO Sim, I'm new. JK: Which is all the more reason to check with me first. Did you even review the proofs? The magazine is Wall ST, not wallet.  Get the design director over here, now.

JK: WTF, are you insane, people are going to think I run a house of B* or idiots. Director: I'm so sorry, what do you not like about it. JK: Are you blind? Transforming, enigmatic, seductive, stage genius. Go big or go home? Live the fantasy? Connect with Jake? What? Am I supposed to perform for them, for them to invest with us? We're managing client portfolios, not their fantasies.  The results we produce are not an illusion.  How are they supposed to trust us? You just tarnished our reputation. And what the hell are you inferring with go big or go home?  Connect with me, seriously?  Am I for sale? You make me sound like a kpop idol ready to sell his body and soul.

I'm the F* CEO. We're a F* brokerage firm. Now you want to pimp me? D: We surveyed 3 covers among our staff, and overwhelmingly, they picked that one. JK: Were they a bunch of young female staff and interns? D: Mostly. JK: They're not our clientele are they? D: Well, not yet. Aren't you referred to as the stage genius? JK: Of the stock exchange. D: What about the monster rookie start-up turned megastar? JK: That's in the investment world. How do you explain go big or go home? D: Aren't we trying to cross-sell? JK: Where does the cover indicate this is about investment? D: Wallet? JK: < slaps his forehead> Nevermind.

D: Besides, it was your mom's ideal, she wanted people to know you're single and available. She said not to let you know. JK: Who do you work for? <dials his Mom> Get out.  I'm surrounded by idiots.

JK: Mom, WTF. Stop meddling in my life. JUST STOP. Mom: Don't talk to me like that, I raised you better Jakey. JK: Sorry, Mom. Are you trying to ruin me? Mom: Why would I do that? JK: I have a reputation to uphold, millions of clients and employees depend on me. Mom: I thought it was cute and subtle. We need to tone your persona down, so you're more approachable. All work and no play is not good for your health. What happened to my baby boy who was so kind and considerate before.

JK: He grew up. Life is about responsibility. I'm going to be a laughing stock on Wall ST. The boy wonder turned to pimping to draw new clients. Mom: Don't sell yourself short Jakey, you have more to offer than your visual. JK: <shook> What do you mean? Nevermind.

JK: Can we agree for you to stay out of my business. Mom: You are my business. You're 27 and unmarried. I want grandkids from you, Jakey. JK: I've donated to orphanages, pick one from them. Mom: That's not funny. Let talk when I come to visit you next week when you're rational.

JK: What to do. I can retract it, right? No, too late. I need to stay low for a few weeks until people forget about it.

<JK takes some time off with his 2 best bros>

JW: What's up? Why are we here? JK: Did you not see my article? JW: Yeah, that was funny as h*. JK: Now I need a redaction like we want your wallet, not your d*. JW: Really? You were kinda hot there, I'm ready to do business with you. I'd go for you over old man buffett. <they both chuckle> J: What if they have more stashed in the closet? JK: STFU.