Preview - Would you like some nuts and drinks?
<At a hotel bar>
JK: Excuse me? Waitress: Would you like some nuts, a delightful appetizer, and drinks to quench your thirst? JK: Oh, no thank you, can I get some OJ instead? Thanks. <Mumbles to himself> That was strange. What was I thinking? Why did it seem like she was hitting on me?
SH: <walks over out of nowhere> That's because I sent her over. JK: WTF SH. <looks around> Where did you come from? Are you stalking me? SH: I was going to ask the same. What are you doing here? JK: Nothing. Can't a guy get a drink? SH: OJ at a bar by yourself?
JK: I'm just waiting for a friend if you must know. SH: Who? JK: You don't know him. Besides I thought you never wanted to see me again. SH: That was yesterday. JK: Oh. So why are you here? SH: Product endorsement. <points to the sign> JK: Oh, nice. SH: You're here for speed dating, aren't you? JK: No, I'm not.
SH: You're kind of hard to read JK: Not really, I'm an open book. SH: So mysterious. JK: You can ask me anything. SH: So what kind of girl are you looking for? JK: Someone with a personality. SH: Well, you're in luck, I have several. JK: You're not my type. SH: What psycho? JK: Something like that. SH: Isn't that kind of pathetic? JK: What? SH: You have to be a loser to be doing speed dating.
JK: I was curious, I wanted to meet people I would not normally meet in my stratosphere. You know, someone down to earth. SH: You mean losers and desperados, the lowest denomination in society? JK: What about you? SH: I can open up a magazine and point to a model and my agent would arrange the date.
JK: Really, just like that? You would go out with someone based on looks alone. SH: Have you engaged in conversation with a model before? JK: Not really. SH: Well, I would advise against it.
JK: So besides being a celebrity how would someone go out with them? SH: You just bait them with shining things cuz they're gold-diggers. JK: Where should one take them for a nice romantic dinner? SH: Don't even bother, there's no expensive wine that pairs well with half-eaten picked-on iceberg lettuce wedge salad that is barfed out afterward. So forget about snogging. JK: Would they even have the energy?
SH: Exactly, you don't want a lock-jaw fainting incident with one of them. JK: <cringe> That can happen? SH: You're so clueless, but adorable. JK: Can they even finish? SH: They can't get pass the first chapter. JK: You read? SH: Of course, I'm educated. Not like mr. top SK university graduate know it all. JK: You read my article? SH: I don't have to. I can tell, just by looking at you. I read people like a book. JK: I'm deeper than that. SH: Does that actually work? JK: No comment. JK: I'm not hitting on you. SH: Why not? JK: <struggling, thinks> It's personal.
SH: How could you be the same guy from your magazine cover?
JK: What makes you think I'm not. Wait, OMG, did you pick me out from the magazine, and it's all been a setup by your agent? <covers his chest> SH: Don't flatter yourself, I don't even read business magazines. <Points to the magazine with JK's cover on the other table.>
JK: Oh, well, I guess my cover is blown. I didn't want anyone to know who I was. I just wanted to be normal with a normal gf, go out on a normal date, hold hands, make her dinner, have a picnic, take her to the amazement park, teach her a sport, go shopping, get a photo booth pic, play charade, do couple things, give her flowers, remember her birthday, wear couple outfits, go to the arcade and win her a stuffed animal, you know normal stuff, and slowly win her over with my charm. <sigh>
YOU ARE READING
Wall&T | Enhypen
FanfictionWhen Wall ST meets the arts. Will a math genius Wall ST CEO tame the beautiful Olympic gold medalists figure skater, or is it the other way around? We all know math doesn't mix with arts, not even as a cocktail. As they say in the Olympics, let the...