who i am - komahina

19

hajime's pov

i can't stop thinking about the ferris wheel... it was so embarrassing. thankfully, i played it off pretty well. but what was i about to do? confess my feelings? it doesn't seem right. i just got out of a relationship.

although i chose to leave that relationship. the love wasn't there anymore, romantically anyway. but it still feels weird to me, not being in a relationship anymore. sometimes i remember when chiaki and i first got together. funny enough, it was a lot like this. i was too scared to confess and kept running away from my feelings. in the end, chiaki was the one to confess first.

"hey hajime?" chiaki mumbled, cheek resting against my shoulder. it was very late, around 4 am or so on a summer night. kazuichi's loud snores could be heard despite him sleeping two rooms away. chiaki had her switch in hands, though her hands were resting on her lap because of how tired she was.

my head leaned back against the couch, eyes closed as one arm was around chiaki's waist. my other hand to my other side, my switch practically discarded next to me. "hm?" is all i can respond with, i feel as im about to pass out.

"i like you." is all she says as she drifts into a peaceful sleep. chest rising up and down. she has a small blush on her features. soon enough she's cuddling up to me, hands gripping onto the front of my shirt. and despite how tired i am, the words register quickly.

"i like you too."

but why am i remembering this now? i don't feel the way i used to, i haven't for a while. the butterflies i felt whenever chiaki smiled were gone.

and although i think i've moved on and so has chiaki i still can't help but feel... sad.

"stupid fucking emotions." i throw myself back in bed, hands covering my face. "why couldn't i just keep liking chiaki... why'd i have to fall for nagito." relationships are terrifying. i was already used to being in one with chiaki, i should've stayed. i can't risk starting another one.. what if he rejects me?

i can't stop overthinking. so, i call who i always do to cheer me up.

dialing kazuichi 🦈...

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if u thought they were gonna get together after the last chapter and boom happy ending... i am so sorry. side note not me projecting onto hajime??? anyways, i know i said i wouldn't update in a while because my co-writer is away for school but i was feeling romantic 😩 here is ur (short) food!