Lumai's Mind

Chapter 15: Keep On Swimming

One year later...

Red liquid flowed down the drain as I scrubbed it off my belly. The agony I felt almost daily was causing waterfalls from my dead eyes.

'unwanted'

It was carved right there, on my discolored belly, like a curse. Now I will always be able to feel, see and know the truth. No one wants me for anything more than a punching bag, and since today, a knife sharpener.

A sat in the cold shower and curled in on myself to cover the large wound even though it hurt terribly when my thighs touched it. The icy bullets hammered and numbed my skin, I welcomed the cold to distract me from the multiple bruises and cuts on my injured body. My body didn't deserve this, even if it was cumbersome and strange, it was scamed when placed with me. Always in pain. Always hurt. My poor human body.

When the water at the bottom of the shower wasn't completely red, I turned off the comforting stream of water. As I slowly stood my entire being was howling and writhing in pure and excruciating anguish. I wiped my body dry, being extra careful of the open wounds and rummaged carefully for a bandage. The word engraved into my belly was too deep to leave alone, I found the things I needed and poured some antiseptic on the cuts before wrapping the clean bandage around my middle.

This was the first time I was cut, I'd been punched until my skin broke but hits and kicks were the furthest they went. My once lightly tanned skin was now purple and yellow in places with small cuts on my lip and torso.

I dressed slowly and painfully into my leggings and baggy tee. Lucky for me, I hadn't grown much over the past year and even though my clothes were old, they worked and fit. It didn't matter what I looked like anyway. I would be called invalid names and pushed around no matter what I wore so why dress up?

I peeked outside before creeping into the silent house. Demon and Devil were no where to be seen so I assumed it was Saturday, A.K.A, date night. I wasn't sure what the day was because after I came home from school on Friday the two D's inflicted the recently described damage onto my battered form which resulted in me blacking out.

You'd think that after a year of this I'd figure out not to swear at the teacher but he was going to make me stay in at lunch because I wasn't listening. I was just so fed up and sore yesterday that I didn't refrain in time. I think I might be getting close to my first period but the cramps might be from the abuse and the attitude could be from absolutely anything.

Why haven't I told anyone? No one cares. People in the streets and school all see bruises on my face but they do nothing. That's just what happens when your vibe is an evil cloud of hated energy.

I really am unwanted though, even Tarnyx abandoned me. She said she'd always be there but in the end she was just as bad as anyone else. The only difference is that she was in my head and gained all my trust before breaking me down. She was the only one that could make me smile, now I'm as dead inside as my eyes make people think.

I lay down on my bed and close my eyes, urging sleep to come but like every night, pain is to much to sleep or stay awake. I'm left drifting in a surreal world were I know just how much pain I'm in and what it feels like but don't actually regester it so I feel numbed. One last tear slipped toward my ear as my hand rested on my bandaged wound before I found myself being dragged through nightmares of bloody feathers. Unwanted...

I woke up to the front door closing and demon laughing her head off. Heavy footsteps passed by my door and were soon replaced with unfortunately familiar sounds. Moans, groans begs and more disgusting content echoed in the late night. I was too sore and tired to cover my ears so I tried to drown it out by clicking my tongue but accidentally synchronized it with the bed's creaking. I groaned quietly and tried desperately to ignore them.