BURNING LOVE

31

Her eyes caught in the gray one Katiandra felt like in a spell. All she could feel was the warmth of her hands around hers.

"I know you are hurting now, I am as much just by seeing you in the state you are in. But love, don't let it get to you. You told me once that I couldn't change what happened to me that it was meant to be. Do. I will tell you the same and... As I am sure you and me was meant to be. Whatever obstacles was thrown in our way, whatever I had to go through... You know sometimes it was terrifying to be me... To live weird things I couldn't explain and still for some can't... All those years made the woman that I am now...That same one that everyone praise but don't understand."

Froze by how deep she was suddenly making her see things in a different light, she knew she was going somewhere with her words thought. Studying her face she could see she was speaking from her heart. Her eyes lost in the contemplation of their linked hands relieving those periods of her life like the distant past it was.

Squinting her eyebrows she met Katiandra contemplative stare.

"That my parents didn't understood all of it doesn't make them less of parents for me. They are who they are, Kate... with flaws that doesn't change who I am. I feel or do things most of people can't do. I, my granny understood, she always told me to accept myself. You did too...
You can't even know the amount of time it took me to accepted myself. Now I do. Because of YOU, who makes me. I'm sure your daughter know how much you love her. What you did for her certainly is the proof she always need. Sacrificing the NORMAN! Anyone would fall in love with you just for that! "

Nudging her playfully at how she could go from something serious to make humor Katiandra smiled rethinking it all. Silence engulfed them broke by Lorelei clearing her throat while caressing her lover palm her eyes now set on hers, trying to see how she would reacted at what was coming.

"You know there is many ways to rape someone... Physically, emotionally, spiritually...it is always tragic for the person. It let you... Emptiness without a purpose... The same questions turned in you head. Why am I living? Why am I so weak? Why me?... Throwing a tantrum is normal, crying is too... But giving up... Is not allowed."

Astonished she could guess what happened, Katiandra mouth opened and closed not finding what to say. At her reaction Lorelei tried to retrieve her hands but the woman held them not letting go.

"Right? That is me. Hmm... I can guess things right sometimes not because I read you mind but only because I just relived what is happening now. I just, it's like being sure that this already happened before and in my mind I will just fill the gab."

"Besides... I always have that dream..." Studying her face in her still astonished self Katiandra could see fear eating her partner from the inside that she could feel it on her shaky hand.

She knew it wasn't easy for her to share that part of her that some wouldn't have tagged creepy but that wasn't about to change the way she looked at her, if not it appeased her to know what really happened. Knowing her she just felt that everything that came out of her mouth was the truth. She wasn't about to coward and leave her to whatever it was.

"Hey... I'm not thinking lesser of you. Talk to me... What about that dream."

Tilting her head Lorelei studied her face not knowing if she could take that part of her. Her grandmother called it gift, but what she sometimes have to endure for having it made her wonder why it was like that. Given the situation she was in with Katiandra she felt a surge of hope that for once it could eased up the weight on the woman soul.

She understood the purpose of something that haunted her for years making her fear to sleep at night let alone be near a man at that thinking maybe it was directly direct to her like in a near future... Which never came. With the events she understood now why?

Swallowing hard she stayed silent for a moment then looked at the mother in front of her with such intensity that the cristal green eyes felt like she was in front of someone else.

"A young woman was laying on her bed so happy, so excited, I could feel it myself, not able to find her sleep... When someone entered her bedroom, someone well built, someone she seemed to recognized relieved to see him she sat on her bed lightening the  beautiful pink bedroom with an Alibaba nightstand lamp that was the exact the museum tower... that was enough to show the decoration coming out of Disneyland. A huge picture of Disneyland designed on one wall at he far end. Smiling she turned to face the man whose face was not really visible."

Squinting at the description of the bedroom she knew alk too well, Katiandra slouch on her back leaning on the couch waiting for her to finish flabbergasted that she could describe something she never saw so vividly.

"At her great surprise he didn't answer but tried to force himself on her. He kissed her forcefully trying to remove her pants she screamed for help but he slapped her twice... Feeling weakness spread in her body she tried a trick she had seen in a movie while he was concentrate to remove her pants...on his way. Desperate, her hand took a hold of the lamp that was on her nightstand and slammed it with all her strength on his head. Just like that it was over. He feinted on her like tone of bricks making her screamed again and again until tired she succeed in getting away from him... When she looked down at her clothes she saw that he had opened her pants."

Deep in her thoughts Lorelei chuckled drily to finally know what all of it means.

"I had that dream when I was younger what? 15? I told my parents who just told me that it was a nightmare, that something like that would never happen to me. But what they didn't know was that I could feel her fear and her pain and when she called in help. When she fought... I felt it all.... So yes it may have been a dream but it felt real for me. It was real. They just tried to brush it off for my sake... But I fell damage for...so long... I was afraid to trust anyone that wasn't my ..f..at her... Who am I kidding? Even him I was afraid of for a moment!"

Shaking her head Lorelei pushes away one tears to was about to roll out of her eyes not letting Katiandra the time to do so. Shaken her head she bit her lower lip breathing shakily her eyes everywhere but to the other woman direction.

" It was real... That kind of things my parents 1qqq1 didn't know already happened to me. Granny was aware, she told me to not panic that I will eventually understand. Now I do. Katiandra you daughter wasn't rape... Maybe emotionally but not like you thought because she fought. And won."

Her eyes filled with a different kind of tears the older woman emitted a whimper before taking Lorelei in her arms breathing freely as she gave her comfort. Closing her eyes thinking she truly was a gift for her even though she didn't knew what she did to be worth of having it.

"I love you baby. You are you and I love you. Yes... You are my one of a kind beautiful soulmate. I may not understand how ? Or why you are like that. What I know is that you are my soulmate. The rest we will learn to live with. You are going nowhere out of my sight."

Kissing the top of her head the hug finally falling asleep on the couch where Alicia found them when she was tired to wait down for them to make her sign she could come over.

Knowing her mother didn't know she knew about them she took her computer migrating to her office like she was never there forgetting about the food that could alerted her mother she was there, thankful she accepted to have her dinner down with the other employees for once.

Shaking her head just hope her mother would never know she ate down there. She was sure doing that wasn't the way she would die. Trusting people sometimes wasn't giving the world. She just knew none of them was stupid enough to want to kill her under her mother watch not mention all the security out there.

She almost fell sorry for the others who wasn't free of their movement stuck on the museum for the rest of the stay.