BURNING LOVE

63

PORYS ELITE HIGH School : Amanda Alyn

"Have you ever feel like jumping out of your skin to run away from your life? That is how I feel "

Scanning the words she just wrote, Amanda could feel her hole body and soul shrieking as she was tempted to post it for real on the blog she had opened years ago with someone she could called friend, her only friend for sure.

It had already five years to be precise. All with a pseudonym 'NYALL my Thoughts'. Most of it were thoughts or life experiences in this old patriarchal and conservative place.

It was a pretty popular site, haven't been traced by Porys IT as many were closed. All thank to her said friend, lorelei, who knew some hackers, who helped them with VPN to mislead the authorities. That was what she told her, emphasising that she had nothing to worry about anymore.

At least with the new game of the Queen in all the medias, not that she was not famous before, but now her  connections with the population  had made all the difference. What she promised she accomplished. Meaning many things was better than before, more accessibility. More freedom.

Sighing a moment, Amanda rested her chin in the palm of her hand wishing for more productivity in her own life. But the reality nagged her, she knew none of this could ever be real.

Like her doing this on the open. Who was she kidding? It could be call propaganda, when all she wanted was to boast young people creative side.

No, the government would say, as they had already talked about the site, saying it was not helping. When they knew it was just opening people eyes on their day to day life.

How they felt, how they lived things. This was a normal thing to do in a land where talking to a psychologist cost a leg, like something reserved to rich people.  This, it was something stress releasing to know you are not alone. That was exactly what they did not want though. Separate people was, for the government easier to lead here.

Looking around her she sighed more heavily, pressing her face in her hands wishing for more productivity. She was so alone sometimes it was like playing hide and seek with depression.

With all her heart, she could not want that to anyone else that is why she deleted her previous words knowing if she posted it, it would be more unproductive than what she aimed for. Giving access to dark thoughts was not the line of their blog.

Her task over she puffed out looking around her from her office. The library was so vast it could be unsettling for anyone who was not passionate about  books.

So much for the great tittle she was supposed to work on in this school. She was in charge of academics ressources.

When the School was constituted with high rank students, whose parents rarely pay the school fees in the school ground but with theirs phones at home. Most schedule it with theirs Banks to pay all years or payment were made in one-time far all the cycle.

With all that in mind let's say, Amanda looked at the calendar on her desk office, her gaze falling on one particular month, really, one week of the said month, the last week of August was the only time she could interact with anyone about the job she was supposed to be doing. Even then for what? Ten to fifteen students at the top?

Leaning on her back she stared at her computer, her only door to this life, then moved forward to do something of her day. Nyall was pretty popular which mean she had something to live for despite some who did not.

Solitude , she had learned by experience, was like a knife, either you master it and become a reference in your life because you are the became the best. Or you let it destroy you, ending with a low life and unhappy life that most of the time leads some to suicide.