Bedburg Hills

114

JUSTIN POV

I woke up and slowly slid out of bed to keep from waking Esme and made my way out into the hall. I headed downstairs and into the kitchen. I grabbed a drink from the kitchen and walked into the living room. I opened the blinds to let the sunlight into the house and grabbed a couple cookies off the coffee table.

"Morning," Jace walked down the stairs.

"Morning," I held my hand up, "what do we got planned today?"

"Well I don't know," he shook his head, "we're running low on meat so we'll need to do some hunting soon." I agreed, we only had like two deer left total and split between 7 people, it goes fast.

"Should we go?" I asked, "maybe we can get out and get back before anyone even wakes up." He nodded his head and I stood up. We walked out and the two of us shifted into wolves. We started into the woods, keeping an ear and eye out for any movement.

"Over here," he linked with my mind, "come on I think I heard something." I followed him up and over the hill, allowing us to look over the land. I looked down and my eyes met a buck. He was by himself, no others around. We split up and each took a side before I started running towards him. I lunged forward in enough time to jump onto him and break his neck. The deer hit the ground and Jace walked down to us. "Why did you leave?" I had to ask him, I couldn't help myself.

"Felt like I needed to," he closed his eyes and let his head hang low, "felt like my failures would make her push me away so I pulled myself from the equation before she could push me out. After what happened to her... seeing her like that and not being able to even get to her, it made me start thinking negatively and well... one thing led to another."

"Esme told me she wanted to kill you for making Kira go after you," I looked up at him, "she wasn't happy."

"Yeah well," he growled, "neither was I. Unhappy enough to try and end it myself. I never wanted Kira to come. I never wanted any of you to come. Had she stopped Kira, she'd had gotten her wish."

Wait? What did he just say? Did he... did he try to kill himself?

"Woah woah woah," I shifted into a human and he did the same, "you- you tried to-"

"Kill myself?" he looked up at me, "yeah. Too bad it wasn't successful huh?" He reached down and grabbed the deer and started walking with it.

"That's not true," I grabbed his shoulder and spun him around, "you've got someone that loves you and wants to be with you. Don't throw that away."

"Yeah and guess who's always protecting who," he looked at me. He looked defeated, "she's always protecting me, saving me, saving us. I can't ever do anything for her. I can't take care of her. Hell, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna get old and- and die while she stays young. I just, I-"

"Listen to me," I put my hand on the back of his head, "and listen carefully. No body here is going to be better off without you. No one will be safer with you gone. Alright? Kira loves you, she'd do anything for you and I solely believe you'd do anything for her. Listen I get it, having a woman that's stronger than you, that keeps your ass safe... it isn't for the weak of heart man. Esme is stronger than me, she's saved me countless times. I've thought less on myself but don't think of it as a competition, it's just love man. She can handle her own, she doesn't need you there. She wants you. All the time. To me that's more special." He looked at me for a few seconds and then looked at the ground. He started to nod his head before making eye contact with me again.

"Thank you," he nodded, "really. I'm sorry for being a dick. I just- she's all I've got. I get that I have our pack but at the end of the day, you and Esme will be leaving and you'll start your own pack. That's your destiny, what you're supposed to do. Alex, he's a vampire and he's my bestfriend. He's lost his girlfriend and turned off his humanity, thank god he turned it back on but I can't expect him to want to stay around a bunch of wolves all the time. And Kai, Rowan...well I don't know about them yet. I do know though that Kira, she's all I have."