I Should've Known: Book Two

Madeline

My senses awaken at the slight sound of a cry. I gently stretch under the covers as I hear him start to whimper. My every sense tells me to find strength from anywhere and get up.

So I obey. From the moment I've held him for the first time, I obey each one of those sweet feelings. Before I go over to Matthew's crib, I look over to my side and find it empty. My heart falls too quickly, but I shake it off and take my little person.

His eyes are closed, but his lips quiver. My heart shrinks and I take his hand. It's so small under my hold and I watch his brows once again soften with peace.

"What were you dreaming?" I softly whisper. I give his tiny hand a small kiss and I fall in love with him all over again. My every muscle longs to hold him. My every breath connects with his as I watch his chest peacefully move at my touch.

I still remember that wonderful day. It was only six months ago today, but it feels like yesterday. I barely even remember the pain I felt during labor. The joy I felt at the tiny sound of his cry blocked all those torturous hours away.

My eyes start to grow heavy but I stay awake. I have a feeling he'll wake up soon for me to breastfeed him. My muscles cry for me to go back to bed. But I ignore it. I stay sitting in my rocking chair by his crib and hold his hand. He might cry again if I let him go.

Just as my head starts to fall, the sound of the front door opening makes me jump and I look around me. My heart races from the sudden awakening but it eases as I see Mateo in the doorway of our room.

"Hello," he whispers with his warm smile. "I didn't think you'd be up."

I look over at the clock and see that it's two in the morning. My muscles turn against me and exhaustion hits me harder. I do a small scoff and say, "I have to be up until you arrive so I can ask you what you're doing out at these hours, young man."

"Wow," Mateo says with a playful impression. He comes near me and my muscles are too tired to get excited at his nearing. But I smile as he softly says, "I must be in trouble."

I yawn and nod. "Very."

Mateo starts to take off his uniform from the firehouse. I turn back to Matthew and let my head lean against the edge of his crib as I watch him sleep with heavy eyes.

"Honey. Why don't you go back to bed? You seem tired."

"He was having a nightmare," I say. "I'm afraid he'll cry if I let go."

Mateo comes over to look at our son. Like always, his expression softens as he leans over to give his small forehead a kiss. "He seems fine to me, honey."

I hesitate as I look back at my hand holding his. His peace makes my heart melt once again and I shake my head. But Mateo runs a hand across my back and softly whispers, "You should get some rest, sweetheart. You have not been sleeping much. C'mon."

"Okay," I say. "But if he starts to cry again, I'll come back here."

"Yes," he says as he guides me back to bed. "Just wait for me here, okay?"

"Mmmkay," I mumble as I start to get comfortable in bed. My eyes close immediately and I can barely hear myself say, "Don't take long...." The last thing I remember is the feeling of his strong arms wrapping around me and a kiss on my shoulder.

I end up waking up at five in the morning. My hours of sleep are mixed up but I never get up after six in the morning. At least my little man doesn't let me sleep for too long.

I awaken at a beautiful sight. Mateo is sitting at the rocking chair with Matthew in his large arms and gently giving him a bottle of formula. He carries the same shine he had the very first time he held Matthew. It was such a glorious day for both of us. The day we were certain that we've made our little joy.