I Should've Known: Book Two

Hazel

We had another fight yesterday.

I think I know what's going to be on my list of New Year's resolutions. Stop overreacting and just shut up the next time your boyfriend is clearly having a deep conversation with you.

This time, it was my fault. He was telling me about his mother. I have seen her more often at the hospital. I heard that her physical exam was not the best and her treatment will be very hard. I listened to Adam sadly tell me the chat he had with his father about this. They're scared of what will happen next. Anyone would with a cancer as invasive as hers.

Then he held my hand and let a small sigh escape his lips. His sad eyes looked into mine and softly said, "My mother is so weak, Hazel. I can't help but think...she won't make it to Madeline's wedding..."

"Oh, honey." I kissed his knuckles and tried using my doctor voice when I have to give a slight glimpse of hope to families waiting on a surgery. "Don't think like that. She's a strong woman. You and Madeline get it from her. And she has an amazing support group! Dr. Sharpe is an excellent doctor as well. I believe she will be just fine. We'll even see her dancing at Madeline's wedding!"

Adam did a small scoff at the scene starting in his head. I smiled knowing that his heavy heart was feeling a bit better. I started putting soft kisses on his cheek until he said, "Hazel...would you say yes if it was for my mother?"

I pulled away with furrowed brows. At first I didn't know what he meant until realization hit me and my ears started to burn. "Not this again, Adam—"

He scoffed. He shook his head in disappointment and steadily said, "Not even because my mother is dying you want to marry me? What if we wait too long and she's already gone?!"

"Lets not make this about your mom, Adam. That's just wrong." I stood up and started to walk away before my annoyance resonated on my expression.

But he quickly got up and took my wrist. His dark eyes burned through me as he firmly said, "Don't you dare run away again, Hazel."

This seemed to have made this thing snap within. I felt like it was my mother taking a painful hold of my wrist and I angrily pulled away. This made his expression change with fury and he said, "Can't you understand?! What if my mother dies? What if it's too late?! I can't risk it, Hazel!"

"No! This is just you using your mother to get me to say yes! What is wrong with you, Adam?!"

"Why can't you see?! Do you not understand how embarrassing it is for me to try to avoid the questions my parents do to me about you and marriage? Why can't you see? Why do you only care about yourself?!"

"I don't want to do this again, Adam. I don't want this—"

"What about what I want? Hm? Do you even care?"

"Of course I care! I care very much how you feel and what you want! Because I don't want to stop loving you I think marriage is not the right decision now! Marriage will only destroy the good thing we have going. Can't you see?!"

"How do you know if you don't even want to try?!"

"I'd rather wait to marry you than to marry you now and get a divorce in a year."

"But what if she dies?" His eyes started to create tears and my angry heart was trying to convince me that it is only theatrics to get me to say yes. I watched him hold back tears as he sadly said, "What if she never gets to see us? Can't you at least consider it for her? For my own heart? You say you care. Then how do you not understand this?"

I was silent. We were silent for a very long moment. The air was heavy that it was becoming difficult to breathe. I stood there and saw us standing together in a few years. Would this be how it looked like in a month if I were to say yes?