I Should've Known: Book Two

Hazel

"We need to talk."

Adam rolls his eyes as I catch him getting his things to go to work. I can't continue hiding like this. My heart keeps breaking every time we only exchange a few words. He's even clocking in whenever I clock out so he doesn't bump into me here.

"Adam."

He stops at the door and clenches his jaw. "I have to go."

"You have to go in an hour. Where are you going?"

"To my sister's place. I have to talk to her."

"Why are you avoiding me? Please." I take his arm and he stops at the door. I let my expression soften when his sad eyes look back at me. "Lets just talk. Okay? We can't go on like this."

His angry shine starts to fade away and sadness replaces them. He lets his shoulders fall and softly says, "You said no."

"I was nervous. You know I don't like surprises like that. And I thought you understood. We talked about it before!"

"Okay. You're right. It's my fault for surprising you like that. But I thought it would be a nice gesture, you know?!"

"But you said you would wait!"

"No, I said to reconsider my offer! I just thought that after a week that your fear would have left and—"

"Why did you just assume and not come to me first? All of this would have been prevented! We would have figured something out!"

I can feel the anger starting to rise between us. It's makes the atmosphere heavy and almost thick to breathe right. But we resist against starting to yell at each other. Adam only clenches his jaw and shakes his head.

"I have things to do. I don't have time for this."

"What could possibly be worse than this? What's more important than us?!"

"My mother!"

I stop and all the burning sensation from my cheeks leave. I realize what that sadness is from and my heart shrinks. "What's wrong with your mother? Is she alright?"

"She's dying. Now if you'll excuse me." He leaves and slams the door shut. My heart shatters to pieces as I jump at it's sound.

The defeating sound echoes in my ears as I drive to Madeline's place. She must be so sad and I couldn't see it. What kind of friend am I?

She opens her door and the loud sounds of Matthew crying makes my ears ring. Madeline is exhausted. She barely says hello to me as she runs back inside to try to calm Matthew down.

"What's going on, Madds?" I follow her into the nursery room and she walks around with a crying Matthew in her arms.

"I don't know what to do anymore. He's been like this for a while. I've breastfed him. I've changed his diaper. I've even taken off his socks like he likes and nothing is working!"

"Can I see him?"

She gently puts Matthew in my arms and he stops to cry. Madeline's eyes grow wide when I do a small chuckle. "How did you do that?!"

"I don't know. Maybe he's tired of you. He needs a new face from now and then, you know."

"What the hell? But I literally made him!"

"This is exactly what I mean! Huh, baby?" Matthew starts to babble as he puts his hand in his mouth. I giggle at him but Madds sits down on her rocking chair with an exhausted sigh.

"Why don't you rest while I take care of him for a bit?"

"No. I'm fine. I'm still making dinner." She stands up and starts her way to the kitchen. "I'm sorry, Hazel. I didn't receive you the right way. I've just been a mess lately and—"

"Don't worry about it."

"My brother and I have to meet with Dr. Sharpe later today, too, so I'm trying to have everything ready for Matthew and Mateo."

I do a small nod as I sit at the kitchen counter and sit Matthew in front of me. "Adam told me about it. I'm sorry that I haven't been around. Everything's just been...complicated."

"So I've heard," Madds says without looking back at me.

I furrow my brows at her sudden firmness and carefully say, "Are you mad at me?"

"Should I be mad at you?" This time, her hazel eyes turn back to me and burn deep making guilt stir up.

"No. Why would you be mad? I don't think it's any of your business."

Geez. I immediately regret my words but it's too late because she gives me the same look as last time I said something stupid too quickly. "Well. He's my brother, Hazel. He is still my family. I care about his feelings, too."

Her emphasis on family is like a stab at my heart. I swallow down tears and watch her ignore my sadness. I'm left speechless. What do I say to that? How do I fight back the truth? I may be her best friend, but Adam is her blood. In most cases, blood will always win.

The stabbing continues when I hear Madds scoff and shake her head. She drops the spatula and says, "Why? My brother is a good man. The best one you've had and will probably ever have. Why do you do this to him?"

"I'm at fault here?" I know I don't have any explanation to give to her. I know I'm doing wrong. I know I'm letting my own past blind me of my happiness and the love I have for Adam. But it always wins. I can't seem to defeat it despite of the beautiful time I've spent with Adam.

Madds doesn't see it. She does not know as she turns towards me with a new anger in her eyes. "I've never seen my brother so ruined! How do you think it makes me feel? What do you expect me to think when I see you smiling here like nothing has happened?!"

"I've tried to talk to him and he's the one that doesn't want to listen! He's just as stubborn as I am! And none of this is your business! Not all of us are as lucky as you are!"

"Lucky?!" She lets out a scoff. "You are lucky, Hazel, and you are so blind! If you don't take that chance, if you don't have faith and trust, then you will never find love! You will always be like this. Indecisive and insecure. Forget your past! Don't let it decide what your happiness should be!"

Her words make my heart shatter and my brows furrow. My voice is quiet as I realize and say, "Adam told you everything? Why would he do that? That's something private. Our conversations are private!"

"He always asks for my advice. What else does he have? Especially with someone like you."

That's the last string to break the wall holding back my tears. They quietly fall after the other and I quickly wipe them away. I don't recognize my best friend. I see the last glimpse of her when her expression slightly grows surprised when she sees the tears she's pushed out. But she straightens her shoulders and watches me clench my jaw.

I have to find the last of my strength to give Matthew a kiss on his cheek and put him in Madeline's arms. I can't even talk without breaking. I would never think that the person who held my heart first learned how to crush it, too.

I walk out of her place without saying goodbye. She doesn't even run after me to give me a hug and fix this. That hurts the most.

If she's this offended, I can only imagine her parents. I really need to fix this with Adam or else the last glimpse I have of a family will be gone...