I Should've Known: Book Two

Madeline

"Look what I have!"

I hear sounds coming from the front door. It's Mateo in his police uniform this time and a wide smile as he pushes a large box through the door.

"Oh my god! What's this?!"

"It's a new toy for Matthew." His dark brown eyes shine happily as he gives my lips a quick kiss before going into the living room pushing the large box.

I briefly see the picture on the box and smile. It's a baby walker. I can already hear Mathew's excited squeals as Mateo starts to open the box in front of his crib.

The sound of my phone makes me stop from going into the living room. My mother. She always calls me when she's starting a new round of chemo. I get comfortable at the dinner table and answer.

"Hey, mom."

"Honey. I was just thinking of you and I decided to call."

I hear the familiar sounds of the hospital in the background and say, "New round of chemo?"

She lets out a small sigh. "Yes. Unfortunately. But I wanted to talk with Matthew! Is he around there?"

"Mateo just brought in a baby walker so he's entertained with his father."

"It's a good thing you don't have stairs or a pool. Those things can be very dangerous. Make sure he doesn't roll into the kitchen with that thing."

"Yes, mom. I got it. How are you feeling?"

"I've had better days, dear. But I will be fine. The doctor says that there's not much to do now."

I furrow my brows at this as my heart stops. "What do you mean?"

She does a small gasp. She's realized she's said too much. "Oh it's about my pain, dear. You know how doctors are. But I'm fine! I will be fine! I have to be fine for your wedding! It's very soon and I can't wait to go for the holidays! Will you be spending time with your brother for Thanksgiving or with Mateo's parents?"

She's changing the subject. Her voice tells me that she's hiding something. But I don't bother her about it right now as I explain my thanksgiving plans to her. If there's someone I should talk to it's my father.

So I call him in the evening. I know my mother will be in deep sleep by then and he always stays with her at the hour. I finish breastfeeding Mateo and put him next to me on the bed. He's still wide awake and smiling up at me as he puts his hand in his mouth. I give his cheeks a few kisses before I gesture to Mateo who's watching the tv to watch him.

He playfully gives me a fearful look and shakes his head. I chuckle at him and run a sweet hand through his hair before walking out into the nursery room. This way if tears do decide to fall from my eyes, my boys won't see me break.

My father answers after a few rings but his voice sounds as exhausted as my mother's. "Hello, my dear. Is everything okay?"

"Hi, dad. I just wanted to see how you were. I talked with Mom a few hours before."

"She did tell me. She said Mateo bought a baby walker. Be careful with that thing, honey."

"Yes, Dad. I actually...was calling because Mom mentioned something that the doctor said. There's nothing else to do?"

My father hesitates. My heart falls and I tell my muscles to stop from trembling as I hear him do a tired sigh. "Your mother is very sick, dear. There's not much to...wait."

My heart breaks and tears quickly slip out. I shake my head at the idea of her death. No. I won't let it happen. "No. She's not going to die. Find a way to bring her here! There's excellent doctors here, Dad!"

"You know we can't do that! What will happen to all the things we have here? What if the house? We can't come back if we stay more than six months in America!"

"Then it will only take six months. Dad please. Come here. I...I need my mother. I need her at my wedding. I need you to walk me down the aisle, Dad..."

I cover my mouth with a sob trying to escape. I know my father is doing the same as he lets out a shaky breath. I imagine him looking at my thin mother disintegrating slowly. This brings a quiet sob to escape my lips and I softly say, "Please. Think about it before it's too late, Dad."

I hang up without hearing him say goodbye. I can't hear anyone say that to me. I can't imagine my mother saying goodbye and I can't even be there...

The sob blinds my vision from seeing Mateo watch me from the doorway. He quietly comes in and kneels by me to take my hand. His eyes carry a sad worry for my tears. I don't have to say anything as I wrap my arms around his broad shoulders and let his strength comfort me. I let him hold onto my pieces until I can figure out a solution. For now, all I can think of is my mother slowly dying and I can't even hold her hand.

"I'm sorry, honey. I'm so sorry."

His warm voice brings more tears to my eyes and I sniffle so I can say, "She's going to die, Mateo. I thought...I thought she was stronger..."

Mateo kneels in front of me on the rocking chair and takes my hands. "What if we go to France to visit your mom? I could take some time off and accompany you."

I sadly shake my head. "I cannot go back, my love."

"Why not?"

I give him a sad smile. "I came here with a student visa. As you can see, I am not studying anymore, honey. So if I go back, I cannot come back here. I don't want to do that to Matthew. I can't leave you two."

Mateo does a slow nod as he starts to understand. There's a small sadness in his expression as he realizes that perhaps I can't even continue studying because of Matthew. I give him a small smile and kiss his lips.

"I don't regret a single thing. The solution for my mother is for her to come here. New Mercy has the best doctors. Dr. Sharpe is one of the best oncologists in the state. She need to come here. Surely they can give her more time!"

Mateo does a sad smile and nods. "That's a good idea. Does your father not want to come? We can move the study room around and make it into a nice place for them to stay."

My heart melts for his sweet thoughts. "Thank you, my love, but my father does not want to leave France."

"Why?"

"They can only be here for six months. If they stay longer, their visa will be taken away and they will not be able to go back. That's why they wanted to come and spend those six months when we go on our honeymoon so they can take care of Matthew."

"I see..." I don't blame Mateo for being slightly confused. I know he's trying to digest my explanation and understand my father. Perhaps my father is too afraid to look for a good solution.

Mateo hesitates before carefully saying, "Maybe they should come during the holidays and then they will have enough time for the wedding, too. Once they leave, we shouldn't be back by then."

I nod at his solution. "I will try to talk to my father. Actually..."

If there's anyone that can convince my father to do anything it's Adam. The thought of Adam brings the memory of Hazel once again. My heart shrinks but I don't let it bother me. I've never cared anyways what others think or judge.

This time, I don't care what the doctors say about my mother. I take care of it now. I have it all under control.