Our Germ//UshiSakuAtsu//Mafia AU

⩫ New Relationships & Troubles To Come ⩫

~ Atsumu's P.O.V ~

It has been a little over three months since me and my two Mafia boyfriends had our first sexual experience, which was totally mind blowing by the way... But that's not the point, we had all decided to wait before we went all the way so we have been focusing on our relationship and emotions instead.

Ushijima has finally been able to accept he has actual emotions and is beginning to actually recognize and identify which ones he is experiencing and he'll tell us once he does which has been very great but emotional as well since it's a bit sad to me that he is only learning his feelings now as an adult but I love him all the same for it.

Now Sakusa's emotional and physical journey has been much harder although he has just started getting better with it, we started him off by letting him stare at himself in the mirror for about five to ten minutes and he can either write what he feels or sees himself as or just tell us if he feels comfortable as well.

Honestly the entire first week when Sakusa had just started his healing was very grueling because to actually know how he saw and felt about himself was so very hard to deal with and I felt like crying for him but I managed not to do so because he couldn't stand pity and I didn't want him to feel as though I was pitying him.

After he would say what he saw we would tell him what we saw when we looked at him and how it made us feel as well and he looked genuinely surprised whenever no words of disgust, shame, or anger came out with every loving word we uttered.

Finally after three weeks of this when Sakusa sat down to stare at himself once again he smiled and said he just saw himself, nothing gross about himself, not that he felt disgusted to see his own face, none of that came from his lips as he smiled and gazed at himself for over twenty minutes and we just let him as gentle tears streamed down our cheeks at this beautiful moment.

Finally, my progress has gone.... very bad actually.

Nah, just kidding. My lovers have finally gotten me to accept the sadistic part of myself and that I deserve love from anyone even if I feel the way I do about killing others that doesn't make me a psychopath, not really anyway.

Opening up myself to be able to fully love these two men has changed my air just a bit as I feel a lot bolder and much more confident in myself and the decisions I make, they push me to want more for myself and I also want more for them as well since they were the ones that have helped me come so far and even with the ups and downs we have, I still love them enough to keep pushing myself to be better.

As the weeks flew by and more time passed our bond grew much stronger and even the mafia members could see how we were changing rapidly since the base had become a bit more peaceful although Sakusa and Ushijima still drilled them down hard during trainings so no one became weaker or complacent.

My bond with my team has grown as well, once Sakusa and Ushijima were sure my head injury and everything else was fully healed and not bothering me at all they allowed me to finally go on an outside mission with the team and during that time Oikawa had officially become my bestie, my relationship with Lev grew even more and now we clown around with each other all the time and I got used to Yaku's abusive tsundere ways since I once caught him being all cute with Lev in the hallway, he was blushing and all.