Alleyway 》kiani ff 《

13- Slapped

{ you guys are my best friends js let's have tea together and talk about youtube }

RECOMMENDED SONG: THANK GOD FOR SENDING DEMONS (Kleerup cover) ~ ADNA

Thank God for sending demons
Yeah those words kept me through
My love you give reasons
These treasures came from you
I work on rescued features
I won't get over you
Maybe I was the seizure
Too bad you made it through
Too bad you made it through

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13

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jordan
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Jordan hated everything.

He hated how unstable his family was. He hated how insecure he was. He hated how much he didn't understand himself. He hated that he kept wanting to kiss Will. He hated that he hated wanting to kiss Will.

He ran into his home, not bothering to close the front door. Burglars were the least of his worries.

Jordan screamed. And screamed. And clawed at his body and the walls. And let tears fall down his face.

Thank God no one is home.

Jordan punched the plaster wall of the foyer once, his fist throbbing as he flinched away and yelped in pain.

He rubbed his hand, glaring at the slowly brightening red spots.

You're getting angry at nothing.

Jordan screamed again and stumbled into his room, clutching his sides.

You're getting angry at something.

Jordan collapsed onto his bed and curled on the duvet.

You're overreacting.

It's his fault for whimpering that night.

It's his fault for being a jerk.

It's his fault for being isolated from everyone else.

It's his fault for being adorable.

It's my fault for falling for it.

Jordan's sadness subsided as his anger grew. He began to think negatively of Will.

"It's not my fault he goes to therapy. It's not my fault that he's sad all the time. It's not my fault he drinks. It's not my fault he's fragile and broken. It's not my fault for anything." Jordan hissed. He clenched his fists.

"I wasn't the one who showed up in the middle of an alley in a bad part of Seattle. I wasn't the one who sectioned myself off from everyone else. He didn't have to save me from that girl. He didn't have to save me from his roommate. He could've let that happen. Maybe I enjoyed it.

I don't have to kiss Will. I don't have to love him. I don't have to hug him when he's sad. I don't have to tell him he's cute. I don't have to stand while the door gets shut on my face. I don't have to walk away and grieve.

I should stop. I should stop showing up on his doorstep. I should stop chasing after him."

Jordan repeated these things over and over until it was fixated in his mind that Will wasn't of all importance. He stared at the ceiling and curled his toes over and over.

"Jordan, you're overreacting. You're beating yourself up. No, I'm not. Stop. He's a good guy. But he's not. You don't know him. I used to. You don't understand him. I wished I did. You won't ever. I probably won't. He won't love you. I know."

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{ yeah it's short ssh. I'm really frustrated so I had to write something.

were you guys there for bayani's stream where he pranked bee? (I made it in the shot of view ;) ) but like he sent us to raid and I did.

the girl's viewers hate us. they're treating as if we live under rocks, fangirling over Cube members. I mean we do, but saying that we don't know youtubers because we're "fans of Bayani?" I know Kkcomics but I didn't know he'd threaten to ban Cube fans because of the streamer's "regulars"

whatever if you want to keep her small and unknown you do that sweetheart.

I'll just sit in a corner.
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Thanks for reading! I really hope you enjoyed!
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<3 thank you!
-p.b