[𝟭.𝟮] 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐁𝐑𝐄 ➣ {𝕛•𝕓•𝕓} ❘ [𝖆𝖔𝖚-𝖊𝖌 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 ]

𝟭𝟬┊❛ [𝗚𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳] ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

ᴴᵒᵐᵉᵗᵒʷⁿ ᵇʸ ᵀʷᵉⁿᵗʸ ᴼⁿᵉ ᴾⁱˡᵒᵗˢ ⁽ˢˡᵒʷᵉᵈ ⁱⁿˢᵗʳᵘᵐᵉⁿᵗᵃˡ⁾

ılı.lıllılı.ıllı.

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

Y/N walked out of her room and shut the door behind her as quietly as possible as it was around two in the morning. She tiptoed down the corridor, past Wanda's room with a bottle loosely clutched in her hand.

Ever since she found out that she could block out Wanda from her mind, she's been using it to her advantage as much as possible. Vision had gotten rid of all the liquors from the kitchen as soon as he saw how much Y/N was consuming. But unknown to him, she had a secret stash under her bed.

Truth be told, Y/N was not fine. She was putting up a strong face for Wanda, spending time with her as much as possible, making sure she was alright and didn't feel left out. Wanda was of course grateful for it, but when she tried to talk to Y/N about Pietro, she made an excuse about Sam calling her, wanting to take time for herself. Y/N found it easier to fake a smile and move on, rather than to sit and talk about what's bothering her.

Y/N managed to push down her emotions with the help of alcohol and Sam. She often worked with him in improving his Falcon suit and distracted herself. She even added upgrades of her own like— the idea from Ultron to create a controllable magnetic field in the wings so that they could disarm the opponents with ease.

Sam was of course impressed by her ideas and knowledge and implemented them with her help. They often spent time together, training, improvising the suit, making nicknames for everyone in the team. They even made it a tradition to go get buffalo wings together whenever the other was feeling down.

Steve had also been a great help. He knew what it was like to lose a loved one because he lost Peggy. The two would often spend a lot of time talking about what would have happened if things didn't turn out the way they did. He also spoke about his best friend James Buchanan Barnes, also called as Bucky, how HYDRA had captured him and used him as their meat puppet. Y/N couldn't imagine what she would do if she was in his place; if she had lost Wanda.

Y/N walked out of the glass door and walked on the grass, bare feet. The cold air slapped her face and blew her shoulder-length hair behind her back. She took a deep breath and brought the bottle to her lips, the liquid burning her throat as it went down. Feeling a lump grow in her throat, she took another large gulp of the liquor and swallowed hard to push it down.

She continued walking, the grass tickling her feet. The wind blew harder and stronger, making her squint her eyes and the bushes rattled. She sighed, walking towards the nearest bench, and sat on it.

"Oh, come on, princessa, one date. That's all I'm asking," said Pietro, jogging to her side.

"Oh yeah?" Y/N raised her eyebrows, "Why don't you take that girl," she pointed her thumb at a figure far behind her near a stall, "She's been eyeing you for the past fifteen minutes."

"Someone's jealous," smirked Pietro.

"Yeah, right," Y/N scoffed.

"You have nothing to worry about," he slung an arm around her shoulder, "I only have eyes for you." Y/N rolled her eyes, slapped his hand away, and walked towards Wanda, who was buying something from a fruit stall. "You know why?" he jumped next to her, stuffing his hands in his hands, and continued walking.

"Why?"

"Because there's no one like you." Y/N stopped walking and turned to see Pietro smiling at her goofily, "You're smart, kind, beautiful. You're the reason I wake up in the morning. You make me feel special and I love that feeling. If I have to spend the rest of my life with someone, it'll always be you, princessa."

The clouds started to rumble and grew darker in the starry night sky. Small streaks of lightning passed between them and it started to drizzle.

Y/N felt her throat constrict and her eyes get heavy. She bit her trembling lip and gasped soundlessly; All the unsaid words and emotions that she had been bottling up for almost a month came bubbling back up. The walls she built up crumbled and fell, suffocating her. She gripped the edge of the bench till her knuckles went numb; Two tears rolled down her left eye as she shut her eyes close.

"Tell me," said a voice from behind her, "How long do you think you can keep pushing us away?"

"As long as I want to," Y/N said clearing her throat; the drizzling of rain stopped abruptly, "I can modify your memories and make you forget that you were here in the first place, you know that right?"

"Yeah, but I know you won't," said Sam.

"Why're you up?" asked Y/N, as she heard him walk towards her. She tilted her head up to push back the tears, but they rolled down the corner of her eyes and she quickly wiped them with the back of her hand.

"Could ask you the same," he picked up the bottle and sat down next to her, "Vodka? I thought Vision got rid of the last of them."

"Had a few left," she said not sparing a glance at him and stared ahead.

"Why're you doing this?" asked Sam. He too had tried talking to Y/N about Pietro, but she would either start playing loud music out of nowhere or pull out a wire from the Falcon suit to distract him, which always worked like a charm.

"Doing what?"

"Burying your burden and acting like you're fine."

"I am fine," Y/N lied through her teeth.

"If it's enough to make you cry and not let you sleep, then you're not fine," Sam pointed out, "How about we talk—"

"Oh please," she rolled her glassy eyes, "How is that going to help? It's just gonna make me re-live it and that is the last thing I want."

"Touché. But it's also the only way you get closure."

"Nope. Not gonna happen."

Sam sighed; she was too stubborn for her own good, "I lost a guy too, you know. Riley."

"Cute name," Y/N commented with a smile.

"Yeah," he gave a small laugh, "Riley and I infiltrated a pararescue unit using our sets of EXO-7 Falcon harnesses. Riley was struck and killed by one of the RPGs, and I could do nothing to help him." he pursed his lips, "I felt powerless, it's like I was there, just to watch him die"

She grimaced in guilt, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright," he waved a hand, "Don't be."

"Did you um, love him?"

"Yeah."

"Oh," Y/N straightened up, "Just so you know, I completely encourage and support you. You're still the same annoying pigeon that I love, no matter what."

"What?! No! no, no, girl. I mean, come on! I didn't 'love' love him. I meant I loved him like a brother, but not like a romantic type of love like you did. But I do support gays though, don't take me in the wrong way," Sam rambled with wide eyes and raised his hands in surrender.

The corners of Y/N's lips slowly turned upwards, "Thanks, Sam."

"For what?"

"For making a fool out of yourself."

Sam put an arm around her shoulder with a smile, "You're welcome."

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