AGAINST THE RULES

Chapter 39

Win surprised himself when he raised his voice. He was not aware of how angry he was. He wasn't aware of how much he hurt. Now that he has opened the floodgates, he could not seem to stop the emotions from leaking out.

He was shaking. Tears were threatening to escape his eyes. He seemed physically unable to open his fists.

He hated how easy it was for Bright to leave him. It was easy for him as a friend. And apparently, just as easy as a lover.

He hated loving someone who kept walking away.

Even now, Win can sense that Bright was going to try and explain his actions away. He was going to use goddamn logic to justify why it should make sense to Win that he chose to turn his back on them and break Win's heart.

And every fiber of Win's body was ready to break Bright's ribs if he dare say any of that.

- - -

Bright really really wanted to explain himself. Surely, Win could see reason. Surely, he would understand that leaving was for Win's own good. He had a shot at a freaking Marvel movie for crying out loud. Why would he continue dating Bright when that could be the very thing that ruins his chances at getting the role? He'd understand, right?

But Win was visibly shaking and his lips were pressed so hard together that Bright feared they'd bleed.

It finally dawns on him.

Bright hurt Win.

And it didn't matter why Bright did what he did.

It did not matter if Bright was hurting too.

He hurt Win. And there was no excuse for doing that at all.

"I am sorry. I said I loved you but I hurt you. That's my fault. I will never forgive myself."

Win's eyes become as big as saucers.
The apology takes him by surprise and it allows him to finally breathe out all the tension he's been holding in.

"You left me. Again," Win says, voice so soft Bright could barely hear him.

"I thought I was doing you a favor."

"How is showing me again and again how disposable I am to you a favor?"

"Win, that's not true -"

"Your actions say otherwise."

"I want you to have everything you've ever wanted. I want you to have anything your heart desires. I will give it all to you - even if it means I cannot be with you."

"Why would an audition matter more to me than us? Is that how shallow you think I am?" Win's voice was rising again.

"But it's your dream -"

"You're my dream!" Win shouts it so loud the walls of the room shook.

A tear rolls down Win's cheek and he angrily brushes it away. "Fuck this. I am not crying over some asshole who can't even stay by my side."

He strides towards the door but Bright runs after him.

Bright pulls on Win's wrist, turns Win towards him, then cups his cheeks with his hands. Win prepares to shout again but Bright presses his lips against his. The words on Win's lips disappear at the taste of Bright's mouth - a mix of beer, tears, and regret.

Bright's hands travel down to Win's shoulders then further down to his hips. He pulls Win closer, as if wanting to say I am here now and I am not leaving.

Win wanted to deepen the kiss but as much as he wanted this , he didn't need this. What he needed was a reassurance. A promise said clearly in words.

He pushes Bright away.

"You need to promise me, Vachirawit. No more of these so-called selfless acts. No more of the disappearing. This is a relationship so that means I get equal say on what happens especially when it comes to my own fucking career."

Bright nods his head.

"Not good enough."

Bright takes both of Win's hands and holds his gaze. "I promise, my love." Bright gently brushes his lips on Win's. "I will never leave your side again. You'll need to kill me to get rid of me."

Win rolls his eyes but he is almost grinning when he pulls Bright in for another kiss.

The door slams loudly and the couple jump away from each other.  They turn to see Seatang tapping on his wristwatch. "I hate to break this up, but we really need to go Live now. Do we have a plan?"

Bright looks at Win. Win looks at him and flashes his mega-watt smile.

"We do."