AGAINST THE RULES

Chapter 38

Bright waits for the sun to dip into the waves, wanting to be covered in darkness.         

You'd think after all that has happened, he'd stay away from beaches for the time being but he could not think of anywhere else to go.

Besides, this stretch of Pattaya has always felt like a safe space - a portal to a time when his stardom was still on the brink of exploding instead of the all encompassing supernova it has become.

This was where they filmed the last few scenes of Still Together.

He still remembers it like it was yesterday. The cast party in full swing. Sitting by the shore line to catch a breather. Win sitting down beside him, offering him a beer. The happiness of the last shooting day making him feel invincible. He remembers not sleeping - talking to Win 'til they ran out of beers and ran out of words. They watched the sun rise together. Then Bright honored his contract and started avoiding Win the very next day.

Seemed only fitting to hole up here again, now that it was clear he could not, once again, allow himself to be in Win's orbit.

Bright could guess that Win would be angry. He probably would not understand Bright's disappearance. And it would hurt not to be able to explain but he should not - he needed Win to be angry, angry enough to discard what they had so Win could become the star he was meant to become.

Wasn't that what love was? Putting the other first?

Coming out now would only hurt Win's chances at his lifelong dream. Love like theirs was a hindrance.

Bright was smart and pragmatic. He understood a lot about show business. But no amount of logic could stop the bone crushing pain radiating from his chest or the tears that kept spilling down his eyes.

He was sure he could endure the hurt one day. He could endure Win's anger. He would watch from the sidelines like he did before. Support Win quietly. Love Win secretly.

One day but not today. Today, he will sit on the sand of this deserted beach and feel his heart sink along with the sun.
Today, he will let himself break.

As Bright wipes away a fresh stream of tears from his eyes he sees a figure jogging towards him.

Could it be? But how was he found?

"Bright!"

"Mom?"

Junta sprints across the sand and practically falls in front of Bright.

"Don't you dare disappear on me again, young man. You should be very thankful I don't have time to be angry at you right now."

"How did you -"

Junta holds up her hand. "Listen. We don't have time. They sent me because they believe you'd listen to me and -"

"They? Who is they?"

"Bright! We don't have time."

Bright forces himself to swallow all his questions for the time being.

Junta brushes the tattoo on Bright's shoulder and looks into her son's eyes.
Damn anyone for ever making her son feel he did not deserve the world. That he didn't deserve love. But this was no time for sentiment, not if she wanted a chance to save this.

"Bright," she says. "Remember, when you were trying to convince me to let you get a tattoo? You told me that you'd never let this job change you. That was your impassioned speech, remember?"

Bright is now confused. His tattoo? How was this conversation urgent?

"You told me," Junta continued. "Nothing was worth changing who you are. That this job wasn't worth hiding your true self. It matters so much to you that you had to ink it on your body."

Bright sighs, understanding what his mother was trying to say. "I am not hiding because of my job. This isn't about my career."

"Then I don't understand - "

"I am doing this for Win. I am staying away for him."

"Don't you think that's his choice to make? Not yours?"

"I can't let him choose me. He will lose too much."

"If you love him, you will trust him enough to decide on his own life."

Bright is about to protest but Junta continues talking. "Besides, in an hour - whether you keep hiding or not - the press will decide for you."

Bright turns white. "What do you mean?"

"Saetang and Win are in the resort conference room. If you're done disappearing, they can explain."

- - -

Bright was quickly debriefed by Saetang while Daisy and two more assistants set up whatever lights they could find at such short notice and a tripod.

According to Joshua's source, they had barely an hour before a gossip site was going to release videos from Bright's missing phone. Bright is pretty certain there were no videos to release but real or fake, it was sure to be a shit storm.

They needed to beat the gossip site by going public first.

But what were they going to say?

Win wasn't even looking at Bright. Much less talking.

Saetang no longer had patience for indecision. "Are we denying? Admitting? Boys, I need your consensus now."

Bright looks at Win, begging him silently to answer. But it was to no avail.

Bright sighs and turns to Saetang. "I'll do whatever Win wants to do."

Win laughs at this but there was no humor in his eyes.

"Why are you laughing?," Bright asks.

"Since when do you do anything but what you want, Bright?"

"That's not fair."

"Don't talk to me about fair. You do whatever you want to do. You disappear whenever you want to disappear. So don't act like what I want matters to you all of a sudden."

"I disappeared for you. I walked away for you."

"What an arrogant fucker you are - claiming to break my heart for my own benefit." Win was shouting now, fists balled at his sides. "Stop doing me favors, Bright."

Junta clears her throat and both Win and Bright immediately back away from each other.

"Let's give the boys five minutes," Junta says, pulling on Saetang's arm.

"But we don't have time to - "

"Five minutes," Junta says calmly. And Saetang heaves a breath before walking out the door. Daisy and the assistants follow suit.

Junta looks at Bright. "Fix this," she says. "Remember who you are and fix this."

Then she turns towards the door and exits, leaving Bright and Win with each other.