To Love a Knight

Anger

Ushar POV -

Kara sat on my left as Trudgen spoke about my brother who I couldn't believe was dead. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be a part of this. I wanted to go back to sleep and wake up to find that Ap'lek and Vicrul were both still alive. I wanted Kara to not have four new bullet holes in her body. I wanted my nephews to not be in intensive care fighting for their tiny little lives. And most of all I wanted Kylo to get his fucking hands off of my little demon.

Kylo had been doting on Kara every single second of every day. Anything she wanted he got for her. Anything she didn't think to ask for he had it there before it was even a thought in her head. It was starting to make me sick and piss me off. She had just lost Vicrul and it was like Kylo was already trying to move in and make a claim on Kara. It angered me more than it probably should have but I didn't really give two shits. Kara was my little demon. Mine. Not Kylo's.

If anyone was going to take Vicrul's place in Kara's life it was going to be me. And if it wasn't me I would be damned to seven fucking hells before I let that man be Kylo. I didn't give a shit if he did get her pregnant and she had his son. That was all irrelevant. He didn't know how to care for Kara like I did. He didn't know her like I did. Even Vicrul didn't know my demon the way I did.

Trudgen finished speaking and since all of my brothers had spoken I knew that it was my turn. I really didn't want to speak but I knew that I had to. I squeezed my little demon's hand and she squeezed mine back before I stood up and walked to the podium. When I turned around to face the crowd Kara's eyes were fixed on me as she clutched tightly to Kylo as if he was the only thing keeping her from running away from all of it. I didn't blame her for that, I wanted to run away too.

"I'm Ushar." I paused and looked down at the podium for a moment so that I could collect my thoughts. When I looked back up I could see Vicrul's aunt who none of us had even known existed. She sat with a small group of people who I was sure were his cousins and other relatives. Scanning the crowd more I saw so many First Order employees that I was kind of surprised. I didn't realize how much people actually liked Vic.

Sure Vicrul was my brother and we were Knights together but he was an asshole. He was abrasive and cruel when he wanted to be. I knew he could turn on the charm when he needed to though, I had seen him do it. I looked over at Kara and saw her lip quiver as our eyes met. Guilt hit me as I stood there and thought bad things about my dead brother. I didn't even understand where the thoughts were coming from. I loved Vic. Asshole or not. He was my brother and I would have died for him so that he could be here with his wife and kids.

I took a deep breath and turned away from the crowd, putting my back to them. Vicrul's casket sat behind the podium and I took a step over to it. I held the side as I looked down into the glossy black box. Vicrul didn't look like himself. He looked like someone had made a wax figure of him and tried to pass it off as him.

When I turned back I didn't look at my little demon this time. I couldn't, it was too hard. I focused out over the tops of the heads of the mourners and focused on the cars in the parking lot beyond.

"I'm Ushar. I've known Vicrul for almost seven years now. He was my friend. But most importantly he was my brother. I don't really know what else to say. I went into a coma at the end of January and here it is May and I wake up to find out that not only has Vicrul been taken from my family but my mentor and brother Ap'lek was taken from us. And I feel that I need to speak for him as well."

I paused and looked over my left shoulder at the large tomb that Ap'lek was in. It was a masterpiece of stone art and a perfect tribute to the man that was the best of all of us. Ap'lek was the oldest and the wisest of the Knights. He had taken me in and taught me how to fight. He had taught me when to fight as well. Sometimes you could simply walk away and I hadn't known that. I had never walked away from a fight or a challenge until I became a Knight which was ironic considering what we did.