Chasing Ghosts | Natasha Romanoff

Chapter 43: Feel Something

Natasha

Natasha drove faster than she should have on the gravel and the potholes in this part of town.

The location Tony sent her didn't mean much good. And she could only find Katya in one of two states, not sure which one was worse.

She prayed she was still in time. Or in time enough to try and salvage something, cut in before it got too bad.

But to her uttermost relief and surprise, she didn't even have to step into the building to find her wife. Because a small, mustard-colored dot of a human sat on the sidewalk curb, knees pulled to her chest with her chin on top, just staring lifelessly at the asphalt.

She was barely visible in the dark, one lonely streetlight and lights from the windows showing Natasha that this was indeed her wife.

Swiftly, Natasha parked the Audi along the curb and jumped out, rushing to her fragile-looking wife. Her usually well-kept hair messy, shoulders hunched over to roll into the smallest possible ball.

Invisible, that's what Katya wanted to be. And according to the far-away look in her eyes, she already had mentally disappeared from reality.

''Katya,'' Natasha sighed in relief nonetheless, ready to cry because she was so happy to have found her.

Screw the huge neon light above the old wooden door, meant to lure people in. "Bar". Fuck this place for tempting a recovering alcoholic to drink her worries away.

Still cautiously, she approached Katya, her boots muffled on the pavement. Finding her was one thing, but there was no telling if she was drunk and how badly. She wasn't even sure if her arrival had been noticed. Not until Katya spoke up with a hoarse and flat voice.

''I didn't drink anything. I was going to, but then I thought it would only make you more mad.''

What worried Natasha greatly, was how calm she sat there. Not crying or sobbing like she expected her to, which made it a hundred times worse than if she would have broken down or jumped up and started screaming.

No emotions were scarier than an overload of them.

Natasha's heart sunk at the idea that Katya expected her to be angry. ''I'm not mad. In fact, I'm proud of you for not touching a drink. But you scared me. And Clint, and Tony.''

Slowly, she lowered herself on the sidewalk as well, not looking at Katya once but instead watching the incredibly silent street, and the front yards of the houses around.

This bar was incredibly lonely and in a completely random part of this neighborhood. Not many people came here. Only the locals and regulars. Maybe two people were inside right now. It should have probably been closed years ago.

It felt fitting to have two misplaced and tense people sitting right in front of the door. One desperately trying to reach the other, who had dug herself in behind her defenses.

Natasha had always been able to reach her when others couldn't, but found herself empty handed in front of those sky-high walls.

Katya furrowed her brows the tiniest bit. ''Tony?'' She didn't seem to care that she scared her wife by running off. In fact, she didn't seem to care about much in general.

''He found you,'' Natasha hummed softly, hoping maybe that act of kindness from her friend did something. But nope. Katya didn't reply to it. In fact, she didn't say anything for a while. They simply sat there in silence.

''You know, I was hurt. But now..." Katya shook her head, dropping her gaze to her feet. "I don't feel anything.''

Natasha's head whipped in her direction, for the first time looking at her scarily calm face. ''No." Her eyes widened, her voice but a breath. "Katya... You shut it out again?''