Escape || an LGBT+ story (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 67

Even though I had trouble sleeping last night because I was worried about what mom meant with "until", these worries dissolve the moment Joshua tells me he is going to have his first rehabilitating session in an hour.

'That is so awesome!' I say, squeezing both his hands in excitement.

'Yes, I really can't wait to be able to go to my apartment again' Joshua says. 'So I can finally beat the crap out of that *ssh*le Jake,' he adds.

I snort. 'Just because of that?'

'That is probably the main reason,' he admits. 'Though it would also be nice to sleep in my own bed again. And living with the guys again. Minus Jake, though.'

I laugh again, feeling it's wiser to not say anything. Joshua really hates Jake with a passion and I understand. Sometimes I feel like I would hate Jake more if it was Joshua he assaulted. Sometimes seeing someone else suffering hurts more than suffering yourself, just like I feel worse about Joshua being here than he does himself. He actually seems proud of it sometimes. And since he discovered he can move his legs again his mood has never been better.

This excited Joshua is really different from the Joshua I fell in love with. Back then, he was just quiet and never spoke his mind. Nowadays, he can be more talkative than Ian. Probably because he's just laying here and is really glad to see me. Even with the others he isn't this talkative.

He has already come up with about a hundred ideas for things we can do as soon as he's healed, places he wants to go, some of them places we visited back in the days when I still dragged him everywhere. Ah, that time...

I guess it's true what some people say, that when you're finally dating the person you used to have a crush on you start thinking about the past, becoming melancholic. It's not like I don't enjoy finally having him as my boyfriend, but that time feels so romantic now, the time where it all started, when it felt like a romance from a book, where we went stargazing and had waterfights and sat next to each other in silence, watching nature. Honestly, the incertainty of "does he like me or not?" just made it even more romantic back then.

Now everything is clear and I'm really happy, yet... the moment I finally realized this was real, it became a normal thing to me. And that makes me a bit sad, because our love is deep and truly a miracle. The idea that Joshua and I will just live our lives together and that I might get bored eventually really scares me. I can't imagine it, yet I can. Because many couples I've seen started out like us,, so much love, but after a few years, it differs per couple though, they seem like every other couple I've seen, which made me lose faith in love at some point. Will Joshua and I also fight a lot, break up and get back together like that in the future? Will the love fade? Will it ever be as intense as when it started?

These are the thoughts I have from time to time, though I try to shrug them off because I shouldn't be thinking about this in our second week as a couple, is it a bad omen? I don't want to think about it.

And Joshua is too happy.

***

I'm allowed to push Joshua's wheelchair to the rehabilitation center, which is within the hospital, in a seperate building that is connected to the hospital by a hallway on the first floor. From this point on, it will probably take about a week before he can go home. Of course, he will have to return to the hospital everyday for rehab and get a check-up every so many days, but not so much that he needs to stay at the hospital. Right now, the reason they are keeping him is because he stayed in bed for a long time, so he'll need to start with small steps because his stamina will be bad at first. I don't mind, because that means I don't have to say goodbye to the nurses just yet. Even though Lara has promised me to stay in touch, I will have to get used to not seeing her at least three days a week.

In the past weeks I have been living in my comfort zone, spending little time at home and a lot at the hospital, with Joshua, Lara, Lars and Tamara. I gotta say that I couldn't have wished for a better environment to process what happened to me and the consequences of it. I am very grateful for everyone who helped me through it, but I'm scared to go my own way again, into the uncomfortable environment that is my family and my church. Fortunately, my parents have just left for their two week vacation with my younger siblings. My mom told me that if she discovered a guy had slept in the same bed as me, she'd get grandpa's rifle and shoot him to bits. That made me laugh. I hope Jamie doesn't count, but I guess he won't be sleeping here much anyway. He had fallen into the hole named Ian so deep, there's no getting out now.

Speaking of Jamie, tomorrow is his birthday. He will turn eightteen! That darn lucky guy is finally going to have the legal age to buy his own apartment and move the f*ck out without anyone being able to stop him. I can't wait until he performs the "I love D, D everyday, D every night"-song in front of his parents.

***

Word count: 947

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I should go to sleep, it's 12.30 AM and I can't keep my eyes open anymore lol.