Escape || an LGBT+ story (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 46

Jake is sitting on his bed, back rested against the wall, with a glass of Ice Tea in his right hand. Distancing himself from Nick does not mean he will give up on detoxing. And actually, he really likes the taste of Ice Tea, despite the fact that he thinks of Nick everytime he pours a glass for himself.

He knows he's doing better now, but something just doesn't feel right.

Nick, the whole dilemma in Jake's head surrounding the guy.

It's probably just because he's been deprived of sex for too long. His body needs it, and usually he can find someone to take care of him. But now that he has stepped back from that lifestyle for a while, his desire has started to grow... projecting itself on Nick.

Heis best friend Nick. The only person on this entire globe whom he trusts with his entire being. Who would never leave him. 

But now, he isn't even sure about that. What if he makes a huge mistake? What if he slips and loses control again? Would Nick still stay with him? And not just that, wouldn't Jake just feel guilty for the rest of his life, guilty like the guilt that is eating at him at times when he thinks about Jay?

Because he doesn't know if he is strong enough to resist his desire, he has distanced himself from Nick. Trying to block him out completely, so that Jake won't have the chance to hurt him.

But the result is that his mood is gloomy and he feels tempted to do something dumb. Like drinking. Or cutting. Or smoking. Or all of them.

It's exhausting.

In the end, he is still the same. Always looking for a way to escape from himself. Be it through drugging himself, hurting himself, having sex... or through a person.

If only he'd still have his parents. A person to talk to, who could give him advice. He does have a person like that, but in this case it's exactly the person the issue is all about, so how can he talk about that to him?

He needs a neutral person. A person he can lose without consequences if they don't take it well.

He takes his phone and scrolls through his contact list. He doesn't expect to actually find someone, but then, he sees a name.

Lara.

Suddenly, another memory is linked to the glass of Ice Tea he's holding.

Lara is deadly savage, yet very clear, and since she has all kinds of clients, she will surely know what to do about the situation.

'Can we perhaps meet up somewhere to talk?' he asks when she picks up.

***

They are sitting on the same terrace, facing each other. Jake treated both Lara and himself to a glass of Ice Tea. She seemed a bit surprised at that.

'I'm sober.' he told her. 'I didn't drink any alcohol last week, well, except for half a glass of beer and a bit of wine.'

'I am shooketh.' she had said, in a slightly sarcastic tone but still lowkey impressed.

'I didn't have sex since the incident with Jay.' he blurts when they sit across each other. 

'Wowww...' Lara says. 'Should I give you a lollipop now?'

'Yes, sorry, that sounds wrong.' Jake apologizes. 'But hear me out. There's this friend of mine, Nick.'

'Yes, I know him. Good guy. Is he really friends with you though? I can't believe it.'

'Neither can he.' Jake remarks. 'Anyway, Nick has always kind of had a parental role in my life since I met him. I lost both my parents in a car crash at the age of fifteen in a car accident. That's also the reason why I didn't come to visit Joshua for a long time. I'm... kind of scared of hospitals now.'

'Oh gosh.' Lara's voice softens a bit. 'I'm sorry, I had no idea. But I heard you've been there last Friday, haven't you?'

'Yes, I have. We'll get to that part soon. So, Nick has always been my safe place, more or less. He kept an eye on me, but after I... hurt Jay like that, he decided to intervene. So he kept me close to him 24/7, didn't allow me to consume a drop of alcohol, I couldn't smoke or leave the house without him. When he left me alone on Friday, with the doors locked, that... did not go well.'

'What happened?' 

Jake turns his wrist upwards and lifts the wristband he's wearing to cover his wounds slightly, exposing the crimson red cuts.

'Oh gosh.'

Jake covers the cuts again. 'Something did click in my head after that. In some sort of twisted way, I saw myself as the victim, and I felt no guilt at all. But at that moment...'

He lowers his head. 'I never realized how much damage I brought to Jay by my act. How much he must have suffered because of me. What a f*cking *ssh*le I've been everytime I was with Jay. And not just Jay, also Joshua, whom I had fought with just a few hours before he got into that accident, and Nick, whose trust I've taken advantage of too many times.'

Oh Nick...

'So you just raced over to the hospital or what?'

'Well, first Nick treated my wounds, and we talked for a long time. Then, I called Joshua and apologized. He was upset as heck, of course. So he told me to come over to the hospital if I truly cared about our friendship. He knows about my trauma, and I don't think he expected me to come. And because of my fear, it was quite hard indeed. As soon as I see the hospital, I start hyperventilating.'

Lara nods. 'You're not the only one. More people have trauma's around the hospital, really sad since the hospital has saved so many lives. But..?'

'I went there. I faced my trauma and conquered it, with the help of Nick. I was a bit emotional when I saw Joshua was alright, but then I apologized to him, and to Jay, who was there as well. I had no idea he would be there and feel a bit bad about the fact that I kind of forced him to face me, but at least I've apologized to him now. You might have heard about it.'

'I did.'

'Okay then. Jay couldn't forgive me yet, but I'm glad I got it out. At the same time, I did really realize how badly I damaged him, the consequences of my actions... and obviously Joshua didn't want to forgive me either. Still, we were kinda able to talk like friends again. So, that went relatively well, I think. And from there, everything seemed to go upwards.'

He tells Lara the story of the bar, the beer, Shamila, Nick. 

'I guess he took me home that night, because when I woke up it was morning. And I was in my own bed, um... with my head on his chest.'

'Gay~' Lara remarks with a smug grin on her face.

'F you.' Jake mutters. 

'So, what's your problem?'

'Well, um, like you are saying, that's a bit gay. But I would've been able to forget it and move on if I didn't, um... have a boner.'

***

Word count: 1182

***

bRO-

I just remembered how I had the idea of shipping Jake and Lara for like ten seconds in the original version-

(Back then I still didn't know that gay romance was a thing sjsjhkagfgjfask)