Courageous(Can i love again?)

Chapter 16

Keira's POV

One day to go before my wedding, and here we are again having a dinner with everyone that my mom organise. She really took this thing so far and that makes my guilt grow. And since that day when we had a fight or more like misunderstanding, he doesn't talk to me at all even looking at me.

He just looks at me or talks to me when he really needs to, you know that show off just to say we're okay.  Did I really hurt his ego? Why do I still seem to have committed a great sin against him? Well, whatever. If he really wants to ignore me then go ahead much better right, that’s what I wanted and he’s giving it to me now so maybe I should thank him for that ... maybe.

I was just silently eating my dinner beside this ego man. Honestly, I don't have any appetite especially because I'm getting married tomorrow and my mom made this the wedding of the year, there is a media filming everything that will gonna happen there. And everyone will be able to watch it. Arggh!  I can't fight her because she's so excited and so happy, am I going to ruin her fun? Of course not, so I just agreed.

I was just busy minding my thoughts when I heard my mom spoke.

"Honey, you okay?" She asked me with concern, I smiled at her and spoke.

"Of course mom, don't worry" I just said and she smiled at me again and she went back to talking to someone. I need to get out of here it's suffocating me.

"I need to go to the bathroom, excuse me" I told the person next to me who was also busy talking to someone, I don't know if he heard me or not but I don't care so I got up immediately and walked away from that table.

While I was walking I felt I hand that grab my arm so I stopped walking and looked at who it was. And the person I saw made me angry, disgusted and.. hurt. It's Ryan Lhileir.

"It's been so long Keira" He started smiling, I couldn't smile at him, I frowned and just looked at him then I looked at my arm he was holding so he immediately let go of it.

I sighed and adjusted myself and forced myself to smile at him even though it was fake then I spoke.

"Yeah, It is.. Ryan. How are you?" I said looking at him with a fake smile on my face. I really want to punch him now. My heart was beating so fast because of the anger I felt towards him.

I know it's been seven long years, but don't get me wrong okay I don't have any feelings for him, I've already moved on. It's just that the feeling is still there. The anger the betrayal he gave me it's still there, and it is true what they say that you can never be friends with your ex, never.

"I'm good, and you?" He asked with a huge smile. He was still happy to see me ah, the thickness of his face.

"I'm fine, and I'm getting married.. tomorrow" I said nodding and then mixed with fake laughter for like a casual conversation. And suddenly his smile disappeared when he saw that I noticed he smiled again as if forced.

"Yeah, you're getting married" He said it he seemed tense so I immediately asked again.

"How 'bout you? Are you married?" I asked him, he just looked at me then shook his head and spoke.

"No. Not yet." He answered me so I just nodded. Okay, this is pretty awkward so I decided to stay away from him. I don't even know how I was able to talk to him.

"Okay, hmm nice seeing you.. again. But I gotta go. Bye" I said while still smiling he was just staring at me but couldn't look me in the eye, so I turned my back on him and walked again but he stopped me again, and this time I frowned then looked at him.

"What?" I immediately asked him. He seem tense so I spoke again.

"Let go of my arm" I said politely even though I was annoyed. He let go and was restless. What is his problem?

"Do you have anything to say?" I asked him again with the sound of irritation in my voice so he immediately looked at me and sighed before speaking.

"I..I'm sorry" He said I wanted to roll my eyes because of what he said. What? Sorry? Just now? Well, his sorry was supposed to be said a long time ago. Besides, I don't care.

I was about to turn my back on him when he spoke again which blew me up.

"About what happened before, I made a mistake. I shouldn't do that kind of thing to you. I'm sorry baby. Please I still love you Keira." He said I want to vomit because of what he is saying to me now. My heart is beating heavily and I also have tears because of the anger I feel. I looked at him angrily and approached him then spoke.

"I was 'trying' to be nice to you Ryan. Don't push me to hate you more than I hate you now. Honestly, I don't care about your 'sorry' and mostly I don't even 'care' anything about you at all. We are done sooo long ago. And you know what I don't care If you still fucking love me because I don't, not a single chance or percent that I still have a feeling for you" I said while emphasizing every goddamn word that he needed to understand.

"All I can feel towards you is anger, just anger. And you're making it bigger than it is. Don't talk to me again, I don't want to see your face ever again" I said and I left in front of him. Then suddenly he pulls me again and pin me to the wall and forces a kiss at me. I can't shout he's smashing my lips, and I can't even breathe. I keep on punching him but no use, then my tears starts to fall.

I just closed my eyes while crying and waiting for someone to see what was happening. Then suddenly I heard a loud bang and I immediately sat on the floor still crying and shaking. I don't know what's happening but I don't care. I'm scared. It's so loud, they are shouting.

After a while it became quiet and I felt a hand holding me so I immediately removed it as if I was electrified. I don't know who it was because I still close my eyes while continuing to cry.

"Shhh, it's me Keira. You're safe now, he will never gonna have a chance to lay a hand on you again. I promise you that" He said, now I know who is it. I looked up and immediately saw his worried face. My tears are still falling, I can't help it as if it has all accumulated inside me and needs to be released.

Then suddenly I was surprised by my action, I hug him and cry on his shoulders. I'm letting him see this side of me now, but at this moment I really don't think too much about it. I just need someone right now and he's the one in here.

"Let it all out. I'm here, I'm not gonna leave you. I'll stay with you Keira." He said and there was a trace of concern in his voice as he nuzzled my back to comfort me.

I am still crying and sobbing. It was the first time someone did that horrible thing to me. And it scares me a lot. I maybe strong on the outside, but on the inside I was like a fragile thing that anytime could break.

I'm glad that he's here.

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