The Untold

Chapter 37

How would you know if you're already feeling better?

That's the question Chaeyoung have in mind before entering the now familiar room, that is Seulgi's office.

"Can I ask you something?" the younger girl asked in the middle of their session. "But, actually I don't know how to start."

Seulgi just smiled at Chaeyoung patiently, "It's okay. How about tell me what is it about?"

Jeongyeon and Nayeon's café is all done. It actually started operating the other day. Chaeyoung was there together with her friends to witness the ribbon cutting. The fact that Chaeyoung was the one who designed the entire café made her feel at home at the place. It's comforting in some ways.

"I want to work." Chaeyoung mumbled, and thank heaven Seulgi's full attention was on the younger girl that she was able to understand what Chaeyoung said.

"Hmm. And? What about it?" Seulgi asked curiously. Like before, she's concealing her emotions. She's really proud of the younger girl. Chaeyoung has been doing good and cooperating well on their therapy. And Seulgi's proud that the latter has been taking initiatives.

"I want to work and I need your help." Chaeyoung said, finally lifting her head up. "I want to work at the café.. I just.. Well, working there means I can't avoid glasses."

"Right." Seulgi nodded. "So you need my help for.."

"For making me ready if that situation comes.." Chaeyoung answered. "I want to work at the café but if I'm still scared of broken glasses.. I don't think I can work properly. So.. I need your help. I don't want to be scared with glasses anymore."

"I don't want to depend on my friends forever. I- I don't want to bother them." she added, "I've read before about this therapy where you can help me face my fears. I've tried doing it before. But well, that obviously failed. So I need your help."

Again, Seulgi admired the younger girl sittibg across her. Chaeyoung's willingness and initiative to help herself. The therapy Chaeyoung was talking about was already lined up in their therapy and the fact that the younger girl suggested it herself, makes Seulgi more convince that Chaeyoung is ready for that.

"Exposure therapy." Seulgi smiled. "You've read about it?"

"Yeah." Chaeyoung nodded, "Somewhere."

"I know you're ready for that. So here. Let's start with this." Seulgi reached for her drawer and grab what seems to be a white cloth. She removed the lace then placed the broken glasses in front of Chaeyoung. "How do you feel?"

Surprised. That's what she's feeling. Chaeyoung didn't know that Seulgi thought of these ahead. She's surprised that Seulgi have this exposure therapy all planned before Chaeyoung could even request for it. But other than that.. She doesn't feel anything else. Not fear. She's not scared seeing it. Yes, it somehow made her stomach twitch but that's all.

Seulgi waited for Chaeyoung's response and while the latter is still thinking of what to say, Seulgi pulled up her phone. "You don't feel anything?"

"No." Chaeyoung shook her head.

"Hmm. It seems like the broken glasses aren't the one that triggers your emotions.." Seulgi said calmly, "How about these. I'll play something from my phone okay? Just a video of a glass being broken. Just tell me when you're ready."

Chaegoung inhaled a long breath and exhaled it shakily before nodding to let Seulgi know she's prepared. The younger girl gripped on her sweatpants as Seulgi started playing the video. She's not even looking at it but as soon as she heard the glass shattered, her whole body flinched and auddenly a raging emotion come rushing through her veins. She tighten her grip so much that her nails are almost digging her skin.

Suddenly Chaeyoung feels like she's not in Seulgi's office anymore. The latter feels like she's inside a tiny dark room and that she can't move an inch.

"S-Seulgi" she gasped, calling her therapist.

Seulgi immediately turn the video off. "Chaeng, you're safe. You're in my office. It is just you and me here."

Chaeyoung repeted what the older girl said and focused her thoughts to where she really is: in Seulgi's office.

Little by little, her surroundings changed. Her thoughts brought her back to what's real.

"Let's do it again." She said firmly.

Seulgi nodded but this time she reminded the younger girl, "Remember where we are, okay? And if it's too much let me know so we could take a rest."

Chaeyoung just nodded, her eyes ful of determination.

"Chaeyoung, the goal of this therapy is for you to lessen the anxiety, the fears and other emotions associated with this by that being said, we can't stop now. You can't avoid this." Seulgi added, "Sometimes, the only way out is through."

I need to be brave. I need to face this. Chaeyoung told herself before closing her eyes once more. And her therapist did exactly what she had done a while back. She played the video, it made Chaeyoung flinched but the younger girl's determination made her endure tha sound of the breaking glasses longer.

"Stop." Chaeyoung said, holding up her hand as she breathes out. "Let's do it again."

And they did ut again. And each time Seulgi plays the video, the more Chaeyoung hears and see it, the more she learns that the fear and anxiety she feels lessen on its own. She can't deny that the fact that Seulgi's advised to focus on what's real helps her to combat the situation.

After over an hour of doing the same thing, Chaeyoung smiled at Seulgi. Thankful for the older girl's help. The fear lessen but it's still there however, unlike before, Chaeyoung could manage it on her own.

"Don't give me that smile. We're not yet done." Seulgi smirked, "Do you have plans for tomorrow?"

Chaeyoung looked at the older girl puzzled.

"I know this place where we can smash things. And break glasses." Seulgi added, "They let you throw plates in there. If you're free tomorrow, I'd like you to join me there. So we can check your progress and your response if your in the real thing."

"Oh- yeah. I guess I can go there." Chaeyoung answered. She knows Seulgi is doing this for her. "But isn't it your off tomorrow? Are you sure you want to spend it helping me? We can do it next time."

"If you're ready to face it tomorrow, then I'll be more than willing to help you." Seulgi assured, "You can ask Mina to come if she's not busy."

"Mina?"

"Yes, Chaeng. Mina." Seulgi grinned. "Besides, she's the one you are living with, right? She's the one who handles you when you're triggered. She needs to be there so she'll know how to handle such episodes. Not that you'll have one tomorrow, correct?"

"Right." Chaeyoung answered hesitantly. Because what if she does have on episode tomorrow? She don't want Mina to be burden by it.

"You've come so far now, Chaeng." Seulgi cuts her thoughts off. "And Mina was there with you this whole time. And whether you admit it or not, you need her. Don't be afraid. She knows you deeply and I know she'd be happy to see this improvement."

Right. Mina have seen her worse and the latter have never think of her any less. And to be honest, she wants Mina to see what she had accomplished so that Mina would worry of her less. So that Mina could think about herself more.

Chaeyoung walked out of the room and was excited to ask Mina for tomorrow but instead of the latter, she saw Tzuyu and Dahyun waiting for her.

"Hey. You're done?" Dahyun asked, walking close to the girl. "Surprise!"

"I know we're not who you expected to see." Tzuyu added, standing next to Dahyun. "But deal with it."

"Mina had to go back home, there's an emergency on her work." Dahyun explained, and after hearing what she said, Chaeyoung felt like she just dropped her heart on the floor.

So that's it? Mina's gone?