I thought I was invincible

Chapter 18

When the doctor told us she was awake, Cameron and his mom went In her room but I waited outside the door. They were in there for awhile and then Cams mom came out "Nicolette" she said. I looked up and she spoke again "She's asking for you"
I nodded and then walked in to her room. Cam was sitting next to her bed, holding her (not damaged) hand. She sort of smiled at me and patted the bed for me to sit down. I did. She turned her head in my direction and closed her eyes. I stroked her hair. when Cam was sure that Mackenzie was asleep he spoke to me, "she wouldn't tell me" he paused "you know- why she did it"
"Do you have any idea?" I asked.
"no, but I know that it's not something she does. Because there were no marks on her wrists and she tried to cut deep. She was actually trying to- not just-". We stayed in awkward silence watching Mackenzie sleep. Her arm was wrapped up and held up by a sling hanging from the ceiling. Skylar came in after a few hours. She said that she was sorry and she asked a few questions but neither Cam or I spoke much, we mostly nodded. I had left my phone in the waiting room and when Skylar called me, Cam's mom answered and told Skylar what had happened and where we were. After the doctor did a lot of x-rays and exams, he said that Mackenzie could possibly regain some function of her hand with physical therapy, but not a lot if any. My Aunt Hayley showed up at the hospital soon after that. It was late but she was in portland, working on a case so I couldn't blame her for not being there, but I wasn't mad anyway. Cam's mom told Aunt Hayley everything that had happened. On the drive home, Aunt Hayley said that I was brave.
"how?" I asked her.
"You acted quickly, you saved Mackenzie's life"
"How do you know?"
"The doctor said that if you hadn't stopped her she would've either cut further, or bled out so you saved her, without you Cameron would have lost his sister and his mom would have lost her daughter"
A tear rolled down my cheek, just thinking of Cam that upset made me cry.
"It's alright baby" she said.
"But she can't use her hand anymore"
"But she can use the rest if her, her legs, brain, she'll live, because of you"
We stayed silent the rest of the drive, and I fell asleep. I woke up in my bed, with Chloe (my dog) snuggled up next to me. I petted her soft head and gave her a kiss. I grabbed my phone to see what time it was. 6:47am. I slept through the night. I got out of bed and walked to the kitchen, there was a note on the counter.
Nicolette,
Breakfast is in the microwave. I'm heading to LA for a case, I'll call you when I can. Love you.
~Aunt Hayley
LA is pretty far so she probably wouldn't be back until at least tomorrow. I ate the breakfast sandwich she left for me, took a shower, got dressed, and curled my hair. I decided to drive to the hospital to see Mackenzie, I knew Cameron would be there even if their mom wasn't. He would never leave her. When Mackenzie was six, she got really sick and had too be hospitalized for a week and Cameron never left. He missed two days of school because it was at the end of winter break but he didn't care. I stayed with him for a few hours a day until I had to go to school. The day before school started again I asked him "how come you stay here all the time? Even when she's sleeping?"
"I want to be here with her, in case I have to say goodbye"
I saw a tear fall down his cheek and then he spoke again "I would never forgive myself if I didn't say goodbye to her. I was there when she was born and I'll be there if she does before me"
"Why is it so important to you?" I asked
"Two years before Mackenzie was born my mom had a miscarriage and I wasn't there for her so when Kenzie was born I promised her and my mom that I would be there if we lost Mackenzie too."
I thought that was really sweet.
When I got to the hospital I saw Cameron's car in the parking lot. I ran inside and to Mackenzie's room. Cameron wasn't in there but Kenzie was awake.
"Hey Nicolette" she said
"How are you feeling?" I asked
"Better" She paused
"Everybody's asking me why I did it"
I walked over to her bed.
"Did you tell anyone?" I asked
"Cameron. But he promised not to tell"
"Because he loves you, a lot"
"I know. He loves you too"
I smiled and Cam walked in.
"I love both of you to the moon and back"
He walked over to us. He gave Mackenzie a kiss on her forehead and then me one on the lips. When Mackenzie fell asleep, Cam and I went out to the hallway to talk.
"She's tried this before, ya know" Cam said.
My eyes widened.
"She did? When? I don't remember that" I said, puzzled.
"She didn't actually cut herself but she tried. it was like when she was 8 or 9. We were home alone and I was in my room playing video games and The lights flickered and I heard Kenzie scream so I ran in her room and I saw a knife on the floor and she was reaching for it so I ran to her and whacked it out of her hand and I held her in my arms and we were both crying but we never told anyone about it"
"Oh my god you must have been so scared"
"I was. I thanked god that night for making the lights flicker because if they didn't then Mackenzie would have never dropped the knife and I would've lost her."
"She really loves you, you know"
"She's my sister, of course she does"
"Well yeah but I mean it's more than that, she trusts you with her secrets, she tells you everything"
Cam smiled.
"everything?" He repeated
"She told you why she did it, didn't she?"
"Sort of, I guess"
"What do you mean?"
"She said that she did it because she wanted to die"
My heart sank.