Can't Unlove Her

Chapter 17

"I'm not into boys, Jema. I'm into you."

Nakakabinging paligid.

Nakakatunaw na titig.

Nababaliw kong isip.

What did I just hear?

She's what?

"Jema"

Sandali kasi.

Loading pa nga eh.

Atat din tong si Deanna eh.

"Jema, you okay?" may pag-aalala sa mata niya.

I glance at her from head to toe.

Wala namang nagbago.

She's still the bodyguard I know.

"Repeat it again." napakamot pa siya sa ulo at nahihiyang tinignan ako.

"To tell you honestly, I'm into girls. I'm attracted to women and not to men." parang hindi naman yan yung sinabi niya kanina eh.

Bakit iniba?

Gucci! Bakit parang nanghihinayang ka pa, Jema?

"I also had an ex-girlfriend." dagdag pa niya na ikinatawa ng isip ko.

So, she's the same with Bea.

Babae ang gusto at hindi lalaki.

Bakit parang natutuwa ako sa sinasabi niya.

Iba ang galak ng puso ko ngayon, parang gustong lumabas at sumayaw sa tuwa.

That explains everything.

That's why she preferred men's clothes at the party.

She even only wears shirts, shorts and sneakers on her daily basis.

I have never seen her wear dress or skirts.

Hindi ko mapigilang matawa ng maalala ko ang itsura niya sa t'wing tinatanong ko siya about sa ex-boyfriend niya.

Kaya naman pala diring-diri, babae pala ang gusto.

"Hoy, sez! Baliw ka ba? Anong nakakatawa?"

I look at Kyla as well as Bea and Maddie who looks confused by my reactions.

Si Deanna naman ay nakayuko lamang at sa floor nakatuon ang atensyon.

"Bakit ganyan ang itsura niyo?" natatawa kong saad.

"Sez, feeling mo ba nagbibiro si Deanna? Nako naman! Alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap para kay Deanna ang umam--"

"I know, ganyan din ako sayo right? Halos himatayin ako sa sobrang kaba dahil pakiramdam ko itatakwil mo ako." say ko at nginitian siya.

"Yun naman pala eh. Why are you laughing, then? Napapanghinaan na tuloy ng loob si Deanna."

"Tumawa lang ako pero wala akong sinabing masama, Ky." say ko bago naglakad palapit kay Deanna.

Huminto ako sa harapan niya at sinilip ang mukha niya na nakayuko lamang.

"Maldita ako pero hindi mababaw ang pang-unawa ko."

Honestly, I see myself in her when I was also at the point where I had to accept and admit what I am. I still remember how I was sweating badly and my knees were crumbling down with so much nervousness because I was afraid of Dad and Kyla's reactions.

But, guess what? They accepted me and I never felt that anything had changed in the way they treated me, actually the love they gave me was even more than double.