Can't Unlove Her

Chapter 18

Deanna's

I leaned against the kitchen countertop while staring into nowhere.

Jema and I just got home and I swear within an hour of being stuck with her inside the car, you won't hear nothing but our exchange of breaths.

We didn't talk actually.

After I confessed last night, I immediately ran to the bathroom because my heart seemed to explode.

When I returned, I just pretended that nothing had happened and she did the same.

We made our bed without talking until we went to sleep.

It was awkward, literally.

I don't even know how I was able to offer her breakfast earlier when I couldn't even look at her.

We left quietly and we came home quietly as well.

She didn't talk to me anymore or even spare a glance at me but she just went straight upstairs to her room.

I don't have the courage to face her or find out what's on her mind because honestly, I'm afraid that maybe because of my confession last night, there will be a gap between the two of us.

"Hija, bakit nandito ka? You should go to your room and rest. Balita ko nagkasiyahan kayo sa bahay ng Tito Kyle mo kagabi." Ang lalim siguro ng iniisip ko na hindi ko man lang napansin ang presensya ni Tito Jesse.

"Yes po, Tito. We had fun last night."

"Sigurado kang nag-enjoy ka? Bakit parang iba ang nakikita ko sa mga mata mo?" Shoot!

Nahalata ba ni Tito na kanina pa ko wala sa sarili?

Masyado na ba kong obvious?

"I really enjoyed it, Tito. It was really fun. I never had the chance to do it before since I don't like doing those kind of stuffs but last night was one of a kind." masaya talaga ako. Iba ang saya ko kagabi.

Sobrang saya ko dahil nakikita ko kay Jema na talagang nasisiyahan siya sa mga nangyayari.

Idagdag mo pa na nandoon din ang mga kaibigan ko na hindi ko naman inakalang magiging malapit din kay Jema.

Magaan na din ang loob ko kay Kyla at Dylan dahil bukod sa alam nilang babae ang gusto ko, alam din nilang may gusto ako kay Jema.

Last night was one of the things that made me the happiest.

I kissed again my boss and at the same time, I confessed.

Naging duwag nga lang ako sa kung anong magiging resulta ng ginawa ko.

Nagawa ko ng umamin eh, sana tinapangan ko pa para marinig ang sasabihin niya.

"I know, hija. Naniniwala naman akong nag-enjoy ka talaga, just look at you, you're smiling. Ang akin lang naman, para kasing may bumabagabag sa isip mo which also bothers me eh samantalang masaya naman ang nangyari kagabi." Ibang klase, ang lakas naman ng pakiramdam ni Tito.

Tinignan niya lang ako pero nabasa niya agad na may bumabagabag sakin.

How can I tell him what's on my mind if all I have in my mind right now is Jema, his daughter.

"Kulang lang po siguro sa tulog, medyo napasarap po kasi kagabi." even though I wanted to tell him but I chose not to.

"I understand. I won't force you, okay? Just rest your mind, hindi ka dapat mag-isip ng malala." Did Tito also knew that I have a selective amnesia?

It is not impossible, right?

"Whatever is in your mind, it can't be done without putting a courage, hija. Kung may gusto kang malaman, magtanong ka at kung may gusto kang marinig, you should wait. Hindi sa lahat ng oras, dadating agad ang sagot. Just stay and never run away from it."