The life of an Indefinite Playerr

Chapter 13

My nose was assaulted by the chilly hospital air. I once more heard the beeps. I grinned, believing that my mother had survived and was still alive. I saw the beeping were coming from my own monitor as I opened my eyes. I rolled over to check the drip catheter for my medicine. I moaned. I turned to look to my other side and noticed Maca.

 "Hello," I said.

 She sobbed and gave me a hard embrace. As I reclined and leaned on the pale blue hospital continental cushion, she gripped on tightly. She eventually turned to gaze at me after weeping during what felt like an eternity. Black mascara ran down her cheeks as she sobbed, intensifying the sadness.

"Thank you for coming it really means a lot." I whispered to her ear as she threw herself at me again. I showed her the cabinet so she could grab some tissue and wipe her face off. "Thank you," she sobbed. "I heard about your mom, and I wanted to say I'm sorry, but life..." I touched her lips with my index finger to gesture silence. 

"Maca, its fate!" I cracked on with my broken voice, that was far more less broken than my heart right now. " We can't do anything about it. She was bound to die, just as I am".

"Just as you are?" She questioned looking at me with a scowling face. " Patrick, you only suffered shock and you will be out of here in no time, okay?" her hands were slowly caressing cheeks. They were very warm and very soft. I felt a weird sharp pain against my chest. 

"You don't understand, do you?"

"What Patrick?" She said try to climb on the small yet comfortable hospital bed.

I stared. I couldn't speak. How can I tell her I was dying?
She is a very emotional person, so I can't just drop a bomb on her like that. The clock hung against the wall was ticking in the silence was louder than I've heard before. everything then became awkward. 

"Why?" I finally managed to say. "Why do you always come back even though I say such hurtful things?"

"Cause deep down I feel guilty for this sudden change of character. Before you saw me kissing James, you were always sweet. You always showed passion. You never ever insulted me, but after that Friday... you hated me. I'm sorry Patrick, I really mean it. I just..."

"It's okay. It's not you actually." I cut her off as she was still talking. " Maca, I'm dying" I broke off softly.

" What do you mean? Stop being so negative. Shock never killed..."

"Well, it's not shock" I raised my voice disturbing her for the hundredth time today. She actually has barely finished a sentence today. "Why are you shouting at me?" She looked at me with bloodshot eyes. "I understand that you hate me, but I am sorry." 

"Macarena, I really was in love with you, still am. It's just that this needs me alone. Thank you for checking up on me but if you would leave it would really, please me."

"Patrick, you constantly do this. You sabotage every positive experience we have. Do you not realise that I also adore you? Her words caused my nerves to all tingle as she sobbed. Goosebumps started to rise up my back. My mouth was hanging open. Does she claim to love me? This shocked me a lot. Following that it came a cringe.

"You don't, Maca, trust me you don't" I tried to push her off the bed. As she stepped out, I faced my head in the opposite direction. " Once again, leave!"

Macarena p.o.v

"You always do this Patrick. You ruin every good moment we have. Can you not see that I love you?" I said so trembling and sobbing to death. "You don't, Maca, trust me you don't" I tried to push her off the bed. As I stepped out, he just faced his big head in the opposite direction. " Once again, leave!" he commanded with terror.

"You really hate me, don't you?" I questioned looking at him. The pain in my chest closing in on me. Even in hospital robes, he still looks perfect. His nose is perfectly perched on top of his lovely lips. He looks frustrated and infuriated though. If kissing James did all of this, I will forever regret getting back with James.

"Macarena you used me" he started crying. " Then told me you don't need my help anymore, right in this very same building. The you stormed to that boyfriend of yours leaving me crying about my messed-up life" his voice, even when he sobs, still gives me butterflies. I slowly grabbed my purse on the cabinet. I couldn't answer him on this one because he was right. Of course, I used him, but I regret that every day of my messed-up life. I could have anyone do that stupid homework, but I chose him. Him. Someone so noble and pure of heart and I broke the pure heart. I stepped out of the hospital building and lit a cigarette. My smoking habit has developed a lot lately. After a few puffs, the pain slowly disappeared.
My God, I love Patrick if he only knew but then we can't change what I did to him can we?