DIVERGENT: Tobias (Watty Award Winner 2013)

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Walking back to the simulation room feels wrong. It's like my body is pulling me the other way. Back to Tris. But I can't turn around. Not now anyway. Or maybe never. Am I really so foolish as to think that there's a possibility that she could ever like me? I push that thought away. I'll think about it when I have to. Tris has just become the center of my life right now. She's given my life meaning and a sense of belonging. If I belong anywhere, it's here. In Dauntless. With her.

Then another thought crosses my mind. I completely forgot about it when I was walking Tris back to the dormitory. Did her simulation give away anything? The only thing that concerns me is that she finished so fast. As much as I don't want to think it, there is a very real chance that Tris could be Divergent. And that scares me. But I'll know soon enough.

I still have to test Uriah and Drew. Only two more and then I can do whatever I want. But then I think again. Well, not whatever I want. My feet find their way to the simulation room while my mind is preoccupied. It's a good thing I have this place pretty much memorized or I probably would've fallen into the chasm by now.

I walk into the simulation room and make sure everything is ready and call Drew into the room. I repeat the pattern for the fifteenth time today. Drew is just as boring as the rest of the initiates, excluding Tris of course.

I could watch her all day without getting bored. The way she responds the exact opposite way that I expect her to. The way her eyes harden and soften when she speaks. The way her voice  makes me want to listen to her all day. The way her touch causes my heartbeat to speed. 

I can't think of her now, though. Now I have to be Four the instructor. The harsh, emotionless Four. I call Uriah into the room.The last initiate. Finally. He looks tired when he gets up. Well he has been waiting for a while. Probably a few hours. He walks into the room and I tell him to sit. I explain what the simulation does...again. The routine has become very familiar and I do it almost without thinking.

Once Uriah is under the simulation and I am hooked up to the wires, I watch his simulation. At first Uriah is standing in the middle of a street. There's no one around him. Well, there's nothing around him. But as soon as he tries to walk, he can't. He's stuck to the ground and no matter how hard he tries to move his feet, he can't. It's like he's glued to the ground. 

And then he looks up suddenly, his eyes wide, frightened. A bus is heading straight for him. He starts panicking because there is no way he can move and the bus is not going to stop. He knows that. Which is why he stops moving altogether and freezes. Then he stares straight at the bus. And it slows down, gradually. The bus keeps getting slower and slower and slower until it finally stops, an inch away from Uriah. And then the simulation is over.

It's obvious then. Uriah stopped the bus. He made the bus stop. He controlled it. He controlled the simulation. He is Divergent. And I know that he is. But he doesn't need me to tell him. He knows and it's clear on his face that he understands what he did in the simulation. But I need to reassure him that I'm a good guy. That I'm on his side.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone. And I'll delete your footage. Just be more careful about it, okay?" I tell Uriah.

His eyes meet mine for a brief second. And in that second they are startled but then return to normal. He nods once and leaves the room.

And then he's gone and I'm done. I leave the room and head over to the Dining hall, hoping to find Zeke. I need to make up for shutting him out for the past week. And I find him at one of the tables, stuffing his face with cake. Of course. I smile a small smile and walk over to him. 

"Hey Zeke," I say.

"Four! Long time no see! What'cha up to?" Zeke asks me, his mouth full of cake. His words come out a little jumbled. It's a shock that I can actually understand what he's saying to me.

I laugh a little and realize I have missed Zeke. "I just wanted to know if you wanted to hang tonight." I tell him.

"Yeah! I was going to chill with Shauna and Lauren over by the chasm. You wanna come? I was just going to head over there." He says, stuffing the last bit of cake into his mouth.

"Sounds great." If Shauna and Lauren are there, it probably means beer. And I think I need some beer. It'll help me relax a little. Forget about all of my problems, for a couple of hours at least. 

We both get up from the table and start walking towards the chasm. Once we get there, I know I'm right about the beer. Lauren and Shauna are already there and have already drank two beers each. I don't waste any time and grab one from the 24-pack that either Shauna or Lauren brought. 

The night passes by quickly. I stopped counting how many beers I had after the fifth. None of us have actually been having a real conversation and I'm not paying much attention to the others, but soon they're all laughing and before I know it, so am I. And once I start, I can't stop and have to grab hold of the railing to balance myself. My brain is fuzzy and I can't remember what I was laughing about. I look around, hoping I might get a clue when I see Al and Christina. I keep looking and see Tris next to Will. 

"Tris!" I yell, without thinking. But I can't help it. My mind is too hazy to filter my words. She and Will exchange a look of surprise. I start walking over to her, with Will close behind her. I take in her Shirt which reveals more than I've ever seen of her and her eyes, which are even more striking than usual, and speak without thinking...again. "You look different." I say, my words slurring slightly.

"So do you," She tells me, looking me over once."What are you doing?"

"Flirting with death," I say, laughing. "Drinking near the chasm. Probably not a good idea."

"No, it isn't." Maybe she does care about me, even a little. But how could she? But if she didn't like me at all, if she hated me, would she be talking to me now? Wouldn't she run at the sight of me if she did hate me? And then I spot something that surprises me. Three birds tattooed across her collarbone.

"Didn't know you had a tattoo." I say and then take another sip of beer. And then her tattoo clicks. The crows from her simulation. "Right. The crows." I look back at Zeke, Shauna, and Lauren and then at Tris again. "I'd ask you to hang out with us, but you're not supposed to see me this way." I say. And I've revealed too much. I've showed her that I want to be with her. Will she be repulsed by the idea?

"What way? Drunk?" She asks me.

"Yeah..." I think about it again. "Well, no. Real, I guess." I tell her. Allowing some kindness to seep into my voice.

"I'll pretend I didn't." And at that second I can't help myself. She's just so...inviting.

"Nice of you." I lean toward her and move my lips to her ear and say, "You look good, Tris."

She laughs. "Do me a favor and stay away from the chasm, okay?" Does she care or is she just saying that?

"Of course." And then I wink at her. Just as I'm turning back to my friends, I see her lips tilt up into a smile and I can't shake the feeling that courses through me. 

For the first time in years, I feel hope.

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Hey guys! My awesome readers! I just want to tell you that I love you!

Sorry the chapter is a little short :/

Lol again: Please comment! Your comments make me so motivated even if they only say one word!

Just tell me how I did :)

Thanks

-Amanda