DIVERGENT: Tobias (Watty Award Winner 2013)

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

The image of Tris running away from me clouds my mind for the entire day and I can't focus on anything. I didn't mean to upset her. I think I just overestimate her sometimes. After all she's been through I guess I just think nothing like this could ever upset her. But I was wrong.

It's crazy that she didn't understand right away what I was doing, though. She's probably one of the smartest people I have ever met, but sometimes she can be so blind! How could she not see what I was doing? Does she think I lied about liking her? Or that the kiss meant nothing?

My heart sinks at the thought. No. I just have to find a way to explain all of this to her. Then she'll understand that I never wanted to hurt her. If only I could find her. I left the fear landscape room as soon as I could without raising suspicion, but she was nowhere in sight by then. Where the heck could she have gone?

But should I really be worrying about her this much? I mean, I know she can take care of herself. Maybe I should just give her some space for a while. But when I see her, I'm definitely going to talk to her. I just won't push her to talk to me when she's clearly avoiding me. 

A sigh escapes my lips and I walk over to the Dining Hall, hoping to find someone, or something that can occupy my attention. When I walk in, I don't see Zeke like I was hoping to, but I find something better at a time like this. Chocolate cake. I grab a plate and find an empty table. As soon as I sit down, I start scarfing down the cake. Dauntless cake is like pure heaven. And usually, whenever I eat it, I can't think of anything but the cake. And it does seem to distract me for a couple of minutes. 

I actually forgot why I was so sad. Until I remembered. Ugh. I need to take my mind off things for a while before I go insane. And then Zeke pulls up a chair next to me. Thank god!

"Hey Four. Long time no talk," He says.

"Yeah, I actually came down here looking for you. Maybe we can hangout? I just have a lot on my mind right now and I need something to keep my mind busy for a while." I tell him.

"Something to keep your mind busy? Well, I think I have just thing for you... unless you want to talk about it. Cuz you know I'm here for you! Ever since initiation we've been---," He says, but I cut him off before he can keep going.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'd rather go out an do something. What did you have in mind?" I ask him.

"Well, I thought that maybe we could grab a few beers and shoot around in the training room like we used to." Zeke suggests. An odd expression crosses his face as he says this.

And that's when I noticed how I haven't really been hanging out with any of my friends. And Zeke is my best friend. I've just been ignoring him. Great. I'm a terrible friend and... boyfriend? Is that what I am to Tris? I shake my head quickly to banish the thought from my mind for the time being. I need to clear my head for a while. But I really haven't been paying any attention to Zeke.

"Aww, listen Zeke I've just been really busy with the initiates lately and haven't been able to talk. I didn't mean to ignore you. You know---," I say before he interrupts.

"No, it's totally fine, Four. I know this is you're busiest time and you can't always hang with me. I just... I just miss my friend." Zeke tells me, a sad look crossing his eyes.

"Are you getting soft on me, Zeke?" I joke with him, trying to ease the tension. And it works.

"No way!" He shouts, punching my arm playfully. And then we head over to the training room to shoot around, just like old times.

I woke up at ten the next day, sleeping in because I had a free day. Actually, everyone had a free day to think about their fear landscape. I get up quickly and toss a shirt over my head. I head over to the Dining hall to grab a muffin and then go look for Tris. She couldn't still be avoiding me, could she?