DIVERGENT: Tobias (Watty Award Winner 2013)

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Transfer initiates and Dauntless-born. I am in charge of both now. Stage Two. Simulations. Fears. Divergents. I have to watch the initiates try to face their fears over and over again. I hate stage two. It only reminds me of what my fear was...what my fear is. But as much as I hate it, I have to be completely alert and keep my eyes peeled for any signs of the divergents. This is where they can be revealed. And I must protect them. Like Amar did for me during my training. Amar... who committed "suicide". 

Why must all the divergent die? The Amar I knew would never commit suicide. He was murdered. He was murdered because he was divergent. I am divergent. No one knows I'm divergent. I have to keep it a secret. My whole life is a secret.

I haven't told the initiates anything about stage two. They all sit outside this room, waiting. I make sure everything is ready. The syringes, filled with orange simulation serum, are sitting in one corner of the room and the computer is in another. The wires are ready. The serum is ready. I am ready. Are the initiates ready? Is Tris ready? I stop asking myself questions. I can't let thoughts of Tris seep into my mind now. Maybe later, but not now. I have to be able to focus and thinking of Tris isn't going to help.

I already know the order in which I'm going to call the initiates. Lynn first, Peter next, then Molly, and so on. I've made sure to mix the list up a bit to keep myself from getting too bored, but I just couldn't help putting Peter and Molly and Lynn first. I'd rather get rid of them as fast as I can. I open the door where the initiates are waiting and speak up.

"Lynn." I say while beckoning for her to come to the room. She walks so slowly that I almost lose my patience. None of the others seem to notice how slow she is walking. It must just be me. I'm probably just a little anxious to get this over with. When she finally reaches the door, I close it behind her. 

"Sit," I tell her and she follows my command without hesitation, probably trying to make it seem like she isn't scared. But she is. Her hands are trembling slightly and her voice shakes when she speaks.

"Wh-what is that?" She asks me, referring to the syringe that I just picked up.

"It's a simulation serum. Once I inject you, you have sixty seconds until the serum takes effect." I say quickly and inject the serum into the side of her neck.

"This simulation is different from the aptitude test. In addition to containing the transmitter, the serum stimulates the amygdala, which is the part of the brain involved in processing negative emotions-like fear-and then induces a hallucination. The brain's electrical activity is then transmitted to our computer, which then translates your hallucination into a simulated image that I can see and monitor. I will then forward the recording to Dauntless administrators. You stay in the hallucination until you calm down-that is, lower your heart rate and control your breathing."

Just a few seconds after I finish explaining everything to her, her eyes close. I walk over to the computer and hook the wires to myself. I stare at the screen, waiting for anything to appear. And then it does. And I wish it hadn't. 

Lynn's fear is brutal. She's standing in the middle of a giant room. People are surrounding her on every side. She stares at them, wide-eyed. And then everything falls apart and I understand what her fear is. She's afraid of fear itself. And that is what is so brutal. Everyone is staring at her and she's being tortured, repeatedly.

And what makes it worse is the fact that she's not doing anything about it. She's just crouched down on the ground, sobbing. After about twenty minutes, she stops crying. She must be numb from all the pain. She probably can't feel it anymore. And then she's out of the simulation all together. She must've calmed down her heart rate, but she doesn't seem calm when she opens her eyes. She's practically hyperventilating.